Berry Posted October 30, 2021 Share Posted October 30, 2021 My ex and i got into a miscommunication that lead to a huge fight which turned to a breakup. When it first happened last Sunday, I felt very strong in my decision because he pushed me around and even tried to restrain me, even though I didn’t put my hands on him or get in his face at all. On Wednesday he texted me asking why I threw out his laptop, which I thought was odd because he never had a laptop. The last time he mentioned it, he had said it was his moms house in North Carolina. When I asked when he meant he just said nevermind…now I’m here flustered because I feel like I got confirmation that he was cheating and I don’t even want to ask because he’s manipulated me so many times in the past. Ugh I’m trying not to go crazy and just let it go but my heart is aching. I feel like the whole relationship was fake and just so confused. To make matters even worse my best I friend recently moved to Miami so I’m just feeling super lonely. If anyone has any advice please reach out Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 30, 2021 Share Posted October 30, 2021 25 minutes ago, Berry said: My ex and i got into a miscommunication that lead to a huge fight which turned to a breakup. I'm sorry you're hurt. What was the miscommunication about? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Berry Posted October 30, 2021 Author Share Posted October 30, 2021 He said he was on his way home, which usually takes an hour, and it took 3 hours for him to get back after he offered to bring me food. So I asked him where he was coming from but since we were texting I didn’t quite understand what he meant, so I called. When he answered he started yelling and still hadn’t picked up any food. It all just got worse from there 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ajequals Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 It sound to me you did the right thing He should never put his hands on you or attempt to restrain you in Anger much less yell over the phone when you call to verify what was said 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 (edited) 39 minutes ago, Berry said: He said he was on his way home, which usually takes an hour, and it took 3 hours for him to get back after he offered to bring me food. So I asked him where he was coming from but since we were texting I didn’t quite understand what he meant, so I called. When he answered he started yelling and still hadn’t picked up any food. It all just got worse from there Any man that puts his hands on you in anger is a man you must avoid at all costs. Seriously. That only goes one way. There is zero excuse for that kind of behaviour. He’s also verbally aggressive. I know you can’t see the clouds for the trees right now but you have to see that isn’t right?!?! I think focusing on the how and why is not really important right now. You need to focus on the fact that you guys are not compatible and you deserve better. If he flew off the rails at you for food, I don’t even want to think what his reactions would be if a woman he was with ever got pregnant and he wasn’t ready for a kid ….. Life has given you an opportunity right now to lose something bad from your life so you can receive something good. Please don’t go back. Edited October 31, 2021 by Fox Sake Autocorrect 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Berry Posted October 31, 2021 Author Share Posted October 31, 2021 23 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: Any man that puts his hands on you in anger is a man you must avoid at all costs. Seriously. That only goes one way. There is zero excuse for that kind of behaviour. He’s also verbally aggressive. I know you can’t see the clouds for the trees right now but you have to see that isn’t right?!?! I think focusing on the how and why is not really important right now. You need to focus on the fact that you guys are not compatible and you deserve better. If he flew off the rails at you for food, I don’t even want to think what his reactions would be if a woman he was with ever got pregnant and he wasn’t ready for a kid ….. Life has given you an opportunity right now to lose something bad from your life so you can receive something good. Please don’t go back. You are correct and I feel like I’m doing pretty good not reaching out. It does hurt that he didn’t even apologize but hearing such real advice really helped, thank you so much for your feedback 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Berry Posted October 31, 2021 Author Share Posted October 31, 2021 26 minutes ago, ajequals said: It sound to me you did the right thing He should never put his hands on you or attempt to restrain you in Anger much less yell over the phone when you call to verify what was said Yes you are right, and I’m glad I made this decision. It is all a bit off putting, we’ve been together two years so I’ll have to redecorate to help keep me occupied these days lol but thank you so much for helping me stay grounded at this time Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 2 minutes ago, Berry said: You are correct and I feel like I’m doing pretty good not reaching out. It does hurt that he didn’t even apologize but hearing such real advice really helped, thank you so much for your feedback You are doing amazingly well! You should continue to be proud of yourself for not contacting him. And proud of yourself for realising that you are worth better treatment. The best news is that the worst part is over. Your life is yours now. It belongs to you and you can shape it and make of it anything you desire with whomever you desire. In a short time to come you will wake up one morning and realise that this breakup , was the best thing to ever happen to you! You will get through this. There is plenty of support around here when you need help. Stay as positive as you can Link to post Share on other sites
Author Berry Posted November 5, 2021 Author Share Posted November 5, 2021 On 10/30/2021 at 9:03 PM, Fox Sake said: You are doing amazingly well! You should continue to be proud of yourself for not contacting him. And proud of yourself for realising that you are worth better treatment. The best news is that the worst part is over. Your life is yours now. It belongs to you and you can shape it and make of it anything you desire with whomever you desire. In a short time to come you will wake up one morning and realise that this breakup , was the best thing to ever happen to you! You will get through this. There is plenty of support around here when you need help. Stay as positive as you can Hello again. Almost two weeks no contact and I feel great. I realize that I don’t love my ex anymore and that it is okay to move on and let go, but I just found out today that I am pregnant. I don’t want to be with my ex and I’m not sure if either one of us in really ina place to have a child, but my doctor said I should tell him and decide together. I’m so confused, I don’t know what’s worse…aborting new life or prematurely bringing a child into this world (possibly as a single mother) any words of kindness and wisdom would be so helpful Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 5, 2021 Share Posted November 5, 2021 1 minute ago, Berry said: my doctor said I should tell him and decide together. It's your decision. Check with some resources that are more neutral and can help you decide what's best for you. For example can you quit your job? Who'll support you as a single parent? Who will pay for child care? It's unwise to stay in a toxic violent situation. It's horrific to subject child to two parents who are physically abusing each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 On 11/5/2021 at 5:16 PM, Berry said: Hello again. Almost two weeks no contact and I feel great. I realize that I don’t love my ex anymore and that it is okay to move on and let go, but I just found out today that I am pregnant. I don’t want to be with my ex and I’m not sure if either one of us in really ina place to have a child, but my doctor said I should tell him and decide together. I’m so confused, I don’t know what’s worse…aborting new life or prematurely bringing a child into this world (possibly as a single mother) any words of kindness and wisdom would be so helpful Hey Berry, That’s an admirable step and outlook you’ve taken on your breakup. It takes strength to go no contact and come to your thought process. Domestic abuse is no joke or mist demeanour. The rest of your troubles are almost satirical to my first post to you. So sit tight - Look, you do what is right for YOU. Your dr doesn’t have the right to administer his own moral values on to you. No one does. Not one person. If you don’t want to tell your ex then don’t. That’s okay. If you do want to tell him, that’s okay too- but only if it’s what YOU want and is best for YOU. If you don’t want a kid then don’t. That’s okay. If you do, then that’s also okay. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise or bully you into their moral values. Don’t fear their judgment of you either. This is your life, your mind, your body, your decisions. Just be true to yourself. This is entirely up to you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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