newheart Posted November 1, 2021 Share Posted November 1, 2021 6 year relationship, and I was close with his family. We probably saw his parents at least twice a week, sometimes more,, especially over the summer for dinner and game nights. It was his mom's 70th birthday this summer, we threw a big party at XBF's which I 99% planned. Afterwards she cried, she told me if we ever broke up I'm still her family, lol. She always included me like her other daughter in law. A week before we broke up, she told me that anytime I was taking a ride to see my sons college lacrosse games, she'd like to come with me. His dad, offered his car when my daughter was learning to drive. This touched me, because I don't have parents in my life that do these things for me or my (now grown) children. They've just been good people, you know, and I feel unsettled just disappearing from their lives. I don't expect in any way to remain an active part of their lives, but I want them to know that I did appreciate their love and acceptance of my family as their own all these years. I wanted to send them a card, or maybe a Thanksgiving card, and let them know that. Is that weird or crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 1, 2021 Share Posted November 1, 2021 6 hours ago, newheart said: They've just been good people, you know, and I feel unsettled just disappearing from their lives. I don't expect in any way to remain an active part of their lives, but I want them to know that I did appreciate their love and acceptance of my family as their own all these years. I wanted to send them a card, or maybe a Thanksgiving card, and let them know that. I think sending them a card would be a nice and appropriate gesture. I have done the same in the past with an ex's parents whom I was close to. His mom had sent me a nice letter and I responded in kind with a card expressing my gratitude for their role in my life during the time we were together. It was nice, and we left it there. No hard feelings, but no more reason to stay in close contact, either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 1, 2021 Share Posted November 1, 2021 7 hours ago, newheart said: I wanted to send them a card and let them know that. Yes it's sad untangling lives. It's the exbfs job to inform them of this. Don't stay in touch with exes' families. It will be problematic for you in order to move forward as well as problematic when you are ready to date again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newheart Posted November 1, 2021 Author Share Posted November 1, 2021 4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Yes it's sad untangling lives. It's the exbfs job to inform them of this. Don't stay in touch with exes' families. It will be problematic for you in order to move forward as well as problematic when you are ready to date again. Oh for sure, I have no intention or desire to stay in touch with them. That would just be a bad idea for many reasons plus, I don't know ... weird, lol. My question was about saying thank you and goodbye, which could also be problematic. Really, my only concern is that it gives XBF a reason to contact me, if he uses it as an excuse to be mad or upset or whatever. Maybe I am overthinking that or shouldn't care. Tomorrow is our day to exchange things (pick up/drop off while he is not home) so I suppose I could leave the card for his parents in his belongings I am returning, and let him decide whether or not he should deliver it. May be a little less intrusive than mailing it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 1, 2021 Share Posted November 1, 2021 You’re mourning loss of family after the break up. I don’t think it’s appropriate to send anything. They haven’t reached out and are respecting that boundary, you do the same. Try to move on with your life and focus on your kids and staying in touch since they’re grown. New opportunities will come along and you will meet someone new. Let go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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