Had hope

[Alpacalia]

18 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

Went out last night for Halloween.  I had dressed up as Cheetah from Wonder Woman 1984 and went to a rock club I used to frequent years ago when I was in full blown party mode in my early / mid 20s.  I met this guy and we got to talking - he was dressed as a Roman soldier and he was quite hot honestly.  And we exchanged phone numbers.  And he gave me a kiss even though I was wearing fangs ha ha ha...

He texted me today around noon and said hi there want to come over?  I was working and didn't reach out again until he texted me around 4 pm again "how about now?"  I said I was still working ( as a driving instructor) and he said oh right he forgot.  I texted him in the evening that I managed to remove my fangs (they were the kind with a dental adhesive) he said want to meet up?  I said not tonight settled in maybe this week Friday would be good for me.  Nothing.

I feel stupid.  I sent him a photo of myself saying this is what I actually look like (I had makeup and a costume and a wig on after all).  

I understand your reluctance to accept his invitation to come over, but perhaps a counter-offer to do something else might have sufficed.

If he declined, it means he was only interested in one thing.

Simultaneously, how much effort is this guy prepared to put into a relationship if his best effort is to simply come over?

 

[Girl Fade Away]

49 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Simultaneously, how much effort is this guy prepared to put into a relationship if his best effort is to simply come over?

Exactly.  That and him not responding when you sent him a pic of the real you sans costume.  Writing is on the wall and you did nothing wrong

[czanclus]

2 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

The OP is in her mid-40's... hardly a kid.

No, I was referring to those evaluating the behavior as "playing hard to get".

Edited November 1, 2021 by czanclus

[czanclus]

2 hours ago, Alpaca said:

Simultaneously, how much effort is this guy prepared to put into a relationship if his best effort is to simply come over?

Worse even, not him come over (as in, spend time in traffic and on gas/cab fare), but her to come over! Would you like a six pack and some buffalo wings with that, sir?

[Alpacalia]

2 hours ago, Girl Fade Away said:

Exactly.  That and him not responding when you sent him a pic of the real you sans costume.  Writing is on the wall and you did nothing wrong

It sounds more like his cooling off occurred after she declined to go over.

[Girl Fade Away]

1 hour ago, Alpaca said:

It sounds more like his cooling off occurred after she declined to go over.

You may be right but the OP still did not doing anything wrong.  She did counter-offer when she responded "I said not tonight settled in maybe this week Friday would be good for me," which sounds reasonable.  He ignored.   He was looking for a hook up, a man interested in dating her would have asked her out on a date, not invited her over to his that night for what appeared to be a hook up.

Edited November 2, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[Alpacalia]

11 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

You may be right but the OP still did not doing anything wrong.  She did counter-offer when she responded "I said not tonight settled in maybe this week Friday would be good for me," which sounds reasonable.  He ignored.   He was looking for a hook up, a man interested in dating her would have asked her out on a date, not invited her over to his that night for what appeared to be a hook up.

Indeed.

[mortensorchid]

I am playing things rather safely.  Strike while the iron is hot?  Not if you're foolish about it - I wasn't going to go to his place after just meeting him.  I proposed another time, as I will be on Friday of this week, but he didn't respond to that.  Not liking the "real me" once he saw me without the makeup / wig / costume on?  Possibly but wouldn't he eventually have to see me without it on?  

Either way, next.

[Happy Lemming]

2 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

  Strike while the iron is hot?  Not if you're foolish about it - I wasn't going to go to his place after just meeting him. 

 

I didn't suggest you go to his place, I suggested meeting him for a drink and appetizers at a local bar/restaurant that night.  Grab a shower and down a couple cups of coffee and go out and meet the guy.

Putting him off for a week shows disinterest.

[Els]

10 hours ago, czanclus said:

No, I was referring to those evaluating the behavior as "playing hard to get".

I mean, if she had said those words ("not tonight settled in maybe this week Friday would be good for me") in response to an actual date invitation (like if he had said "want to have dinner at XYZ restaurant tonight?"), I can see how it'd come across as her not being interested or playing hard to get.

But that wasn't what he said at all, so it's a moot point.

[Blind-Sided]

20 hours ago, elaine567 said:

MO plays hard to get just about every  time. She is rarely available,  she is too busy, she is too tired, she is baking cakes, she is generally hard to pin down as she wants him to chase her.... but she rarely gives him any impression that she wants to be chased.
Men tell her they cannot read her, they haven't a clue whether she likes them or not. and with her usual unavailability when they try to get together with her, means they just give up.

Don't forget about the several FWB.  TO me... I think it's an easier target for physical contact, and she keeps going back to them.  (Although we haven't heard about them in the last few months)