7 months of marriage and I have never been more unhappy in my life

[ACS]

Hello,

I knew this guy since i was a child, but we didnt speak till last year in november. In december we started dating, and in january i discovered that i was pregnant.

Before i discovered  that i was pregnanti wanted to break up with him becouse i noticed that he was not the one for me , he used to talk too much about his ex girlfriend, used to see a lot of flaws in me, and he seemed like he was with me becouse i have more money than  him.  I really dont believe he love me at all. But becouse i was pregnant i decided to marry him becouse i did not wanted to be a single mother.

We got married and we went to live abroad. He lied to me , he said he had an international account with money, whwn we arrived in the country i discovered that it was a lie, he did not have any money.

We rented a house, i paied for everything in the house,becouse he did not have any money. I asked him to talk with his parrnts becouse my parents were also helping us, and he said that his parents shouldnt help us becouse they have more things to do with money and was my parents onligation to give us money. We had a huge argument and when i confrinted him in front of my parents he lied he said he never said that.

He doesnt do anything in the house  , we go out, i pay for things, i pay taxi, even now that he started a new job. He is 30 years old, allways lived with his parents, he doenst even now how to pay a bill . I have to do everything for him like i am his mother and he never aknowledge when he is wrong.  My parents arr very unhappy becouse they noticed that i am unhappy  i did not wanned to worry them and say that i am unhappy but they noticed. 

We argue a lot, we dont make sex , i even dont enjoy being arround him anymore.  I dont know why but i feel happier when he is not arround . Everyday i cant way till he goes to work so.i can be by myself at peace. My parents say that i should stay in this marriage, but i am really tired of pretending , i dont love  him,   and i just married him becouse i was pregnant.  What should i do? Any advise?

Edited November 1, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Acacia98]

Please leave. Surely, being a single mother is better than this.

[glows]

You probably know what to do but are too afraid of disappointing those closest to you such as your parents. He has used you , manipulated you, belittled you and seems incapacitated living as an adult. Take care of yourself and your child from now onwards. You have one child, not two.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, ACS said:

What should i do?

Don't listen to your parents - get out of this marriage. 

I am guessing there are some cultural issues here, but marrying him was a mistake. But you can correct it now by divorcing him. You will never be happy with this person and it makes no sense to waste more time and money on him. 

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, ACS said:

 in january i discovered that i was pregnant. 

 When was the child born? Move back home. 

[BaileyB]

6 hours ago, ACS said:

What should i do?

I would not even let the sun go down before I righted this wrong. 

Leave. Go live with your parents for a while if you don’t want to be alone. This is just one poor decision after another - time to make it right. 

[introverted1]

This is the result of a series of bad decisions.

Did you end up having the baby?

Are you in the same country as your parents?

Why do your parents think you should remain in the marriage? 

Will there be any legal repercussions if you take the baby and leave?  If not, take the baby and go to your parents, at least until you can see a lawyer and understand your rights around  child support and shared custody. 

Be sure to use birth control in the future.

 

 

 

[BreakOnThrough]

Getting married because of children, although seems admirable on the surface, it's the wrong reason to do so.  You stated you didn't love your partner, without that very important foundation, the marriage was set up for failure from the beginning.  You weren't at fault of course, you thought you were doing the "right" thing, the reality of success is simply not sustainable going forward, it's just a matter of correcting that error at this point, so take the necessary steps to do so, find ways to co-parent in the most effective ways possible, put all your energy into the child to ensure they have the best opportunities possible.

[Els]

13 hours ago, ACS said:

But becouse i was pregnant i decided to marry him becouse i did not wanted to be a single mother.

Those were not your only options...

Regardless, the time for that decision is past. You cannot change your past, only your future - and the future becomes the past every second of every day. 10 years from now, do you think you will look back and think, "I should have left 10 years ago"?

I think you will.

Edited November 1, 2021 by Elswyth