Idontknow21 Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Hi! Iâve got a little big problem in my relationship; Due to my jealousy, my insecurity and my lake of being able to communicate, Iâve made a mistake⊠letâs say that I started to act like a stranger to her because of my jealousy (we started ti get out with my friends group⊠and everyone started to do some jokes that bothered me⊠so I just âleft in my worldâ just not to disturb their vibe; she asked me a lot of times whatâs happening, but I just said ânothingâ⊠so, she just stopped to ask me again, normal, and get some distance.) This distance started to annoy me, so I just âpoured the glassâ⊠and nervously I sayed to break up. Now⊠I know thatâs childish and not smart. Thoe, she choose to discuss with me, because she knew that Iâd regret this. And I had three options to say so⊠Continue, Pause, breakup. I chose first and she said that sheâll choose a pause and will get distant until I do something to fix this, even if I donât get distant. (I even donât know what it means, or how to get started to do something, I really feel sorry for that, and I want to understand what should I do, because I feel like a f00l. (Itâs my first serious relationship). Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 6 minutes ago, Idontknow21 said: so I just âleft in my worldâ just not to disturb their vibe; she asked me a lot of times whatâs happening, but I just said ânothingââŠÂ This distance started to annoy me, so I just âpoured the glassâ⊠and nervously I sayed to break up. How long have you been dating? How old is she? Is there a reason you withdraw into your own world and refuse to speak except threats like "lets breakup". Maybe you're just incompatible, maybe she annoys you. But breakup threats are manipulative . So are sulking, silent treatments and acting like a party pooper.  Decide what you want. Decide to be confident. Decide to speak your mind. However in a clear self-assured manner not in a whiney jealous way. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 What jokes were they? Was she flirting with your friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Idontknow21 Posted November 2, 2021 Author Share Posted November 2, 2021 1 hour ago, glows said: What jokes were they? Was she flirting with your friends? Not really, but theyâve been really close, like pushing themselves⊠and things like this and joking about how bad I am or how theyâd âtake herâ and further⊠sounds so childish Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 10 minutes ago, Idontknow21 said: Not really, but theyâve been really close, like pushing themselves⊠and things like this and joking about how bad I am or how theyâd âtake herâ and further⊠sounds so childish They don't sound like friends. These are inappropriate comments and lewd. Is she responding to them? Rethink your friendships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Idontknow21 Posted November 2, 2021 Author Share Posted November 2, 2021 5 minutes ago, glows said: They don't sound like friends. These are inappropriate comments and lewd. Is she responding to them? Rethink your friendships. She jokes with them⊠Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 4 minutes ago, Idontknow21 said: She jokes with them⊠Maybe it's time to revisit your attraction to this woman and figure out whether you're happy or whether you can trust someone like this. Your friends aren't exactly friends either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Idontknow21 Posted November 2, 2021 Author Share Posted November 2, 2021 24 minutes ago, glows said: Maybe it's time to revisit your attraction to this woman and figure out whether you're happy or whether you can trust someone like this. Your friends aren't exactly friends either. I think youâre right⊠Iâm not sure that I feel good around her. Especially when I hear things like: âyouâre not my type of guy, but I have feelings for youâ or âI have nothing to win from this relationship, but you have⊠because you donât have experience⊠so you lose if we break upâ⊠etc. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 So this is your first relationship....and the issue is that you have nothing to compare it to. Take a step back, remove your emotions, and take a look at the facts. Look at the things she says to you....you know the stuff that is hurtful. Look at how she acts, like how she interacts with your friends. Take a good outside perspective and see things that are not appropriate behavior for someone that is supposed to be in a relaitonship. From what you have posted so far, she is cruel, and threatening you. She takes a personal poke at you for your inexperience...that's manipulation. She is trying to make you feel you are wrong, and guilty for the way you feel. That's bad my friend. As hard at it is, for your sake, you are better off without her. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 On 11/2/2021 at 6:01 PM, Idontknow21 said: I think youâre right⊠Iâm not sure that I feel good around her. Especially when I hear things like: âyouâre not my type of guy, but I have feelings for youâ or âI have nothing to win from this relationship, but you have⊠because you donât have experience⊠so you lose if we break upâ⊠etc. End it. It sounds like an unhappy mess. The sooner you cut your losses the better.  Link to post Share on other sites
torn_heart Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 On 11/2/2021 at 4:01 PM, Idontknow21 said: I think youâre right⊠Iâm not sure that I feel good around her. Especially when I hear things like: âyouâre not my type of guy, but I have feelings for youâ or âI have nothing to win from this relationship, but you have⊠because you donât have experience⊠so you lose if we break upâ⊠etc. You're being bullied. Get out and find your self worth. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 (edited) On 11/2/2021 at 4:11 PM, Idontknow21 said: and things like this and joking about how bad I am or how theyâd âtake herâ and further⊠sounds so childish âI have nothing to win from this relationship, but you have⊠because you donât have experience⊠so you lose if we break upâ Everyone needs to go into the garbage heap and be left there to rot. It's time for you to clean house as far as your social group goes. and no, you will not be in the wrong for doing this. None of them mean you any good if this is how they act... I can imagine what they're saying behind your back. Do not let them guilt you into hanging around for more insults--you deserve way better treatment than that. Edited November 8, 2021 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
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