Idontknow21 Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Hi! Iāve got a little big problem in my relationship; Due to my jealousy, my insecurity and my lake of being able to communicate, Iāve made a mistakeā¦ letās say that I started to act like a stranger to her because of my jealousy (we started ti get out with my friends groupā¦ and everyone started to do some jokes that bothered meā¦ so I just āleft in my worldā just not to disturb their vibe; she asked me a lot of times whatās happening, but I just said ānothingāā¦ so, she just stopped to ask me again, normal, and get some distance.) This distance started to annoy me, so I just āpoured the glassāā¦ and nervously I sayed to break up. Nowā¦ I know thatās childish and not smart. Thoe, she choose to discuss with me, because she knew that Iād regret this. And I had three options to say soā¦ Continue, Pause, breakup. I chose first and she said that sheāll choose a pause and will get distant until I do something to fix this, even if I donāt get distant. (I even donāt know what it means, or how to get started to do something, I really feel sorry for that, and I want to understand what should I do, because I feel like a f00l. (Itās my first serious relationship).Ā Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 6 minutes ago, Idontknow21 said: so I just āleft in my worldā just not to disturb their vibe; she asked me a lot of times whatās happening, but I just said ānothingāā¦Ā This distance started to annoy me, so I just āpoured the glassāā¦ and nervously I sayed to break up.Ā How long have you been dating? How old is she? Is there a reason you withdraw into your own world and refuse to speak except threats like "lets breakup". Maybe you're just incompatible, maybe she annoys you. But breakup threats are manipulative . So are sulking, silent treatments and acting like a party pooper. Ā Decide what you want. Decide to be confident. Decide to speak your mind. However in a clear self-assured manner not in a whiney jealous way. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 What jokes were they? Was she flirting with your friends?Ā Link to post Share on other sites
Author Idontknow21 Posted November 2, 2021 Author Share Posted November 2, 2021 1 hour ago, glows said: What jokes were they? Was she flirting with your friends?Ā Not really, but theyāve been really close, like pushing themselvesā¦ and things like thisĀ and joking about how bad I am or how theyād ātake herā and furtherā¦ sounds so childishĀ Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 10 minutes ago, Idontknow21 said: Not really, but theyāve been really close, like pushing themselvesā¦ and things like thisĀ and joking about how bad I am or how theyād ātake herā and furtherā¦ sounds so childishĀ They don't sound like friends. These are inappropriate comments and lewd. Is she responding to them? Rethink your friendships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Idontknow21 Posted November 2, 2021 Author Share Posted November 2, 2021 5 minutes ago, glows said: They don't sound like friends. These are inappropriate comments and lewd. Is she responding to them? Rethink your friendships. She jokes with themā¦ Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 4 minutes ago, Idontknow21 said: She jokes with themā¦ Maybe it's time to revisit your attraction to this woman and figure out whether you're happy or whether you can trust someone like this. Your friends aren't exactly friends either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Idontknow21 Posted November 2, 2021 Author Share Posted November 2, 2021 24 minutes ago, glows said: Maybe it's time to revisit your attraction to this woman and figure out whether you're happy or whether you can trust someone like this. Your friends aren't exactly friends either. I think youāre rightā¦ Iām not sure that I feel good around her. Especially when I hear things like: āyouāre not my type of guy, but I have feelings for youā or āI have nothing to win from this relationship, but you haveā¦ because you donāt have experienceā¦ so you lose if we break upāā¦ etc. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 So this is your first relationship....and the issue is that you have nothing to compare it to. Take a step back, remove your emotions, and take a look at the facts. Look at the things she says to you....you know the stuff that is hurtful. Look at how she acts, like how she interacts with your friends. Take a good outside perspective and see things that are not appropriate behavior for someone that is supposed to be in a relaitonship. From what you have posted so far, she is cruel, and threatening you. She takes a personal poke at you for your inexperience...that's manipulation. She is trying to make you feel you are wrong, and guilty for the way you feel. That's bad my friend. As hard at it is, for your sake, you are better off without her. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 On 11/2/2021 at 6:01 PM, Idontknow21 said: I think youāre rightā¦ Iām not sure that I feel good around her. Especially when I hear things like: āyouāre not my type of guy, but I have feelings for youā or āI have nothing to win from this relationship, but you haveā¦ because you donāt have experienceā¦ so you lose if we break upāā¦ etc. End it. It sounds like an unhappy mess. The sooner you cut your losses the better. Ā Link to post Share on other sites
torn_heart Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 On 11/2/2021 at 4:01 PM, Idontknow21 said: I think youāre rightā¦ Iām not sure that I feel good around her. Especially when I hear things like: āyouāre not my type of guy, but I have feelings for youā or āI have nothing to win from this relationship, but you haveā¦ because you donāt have experienceā¦ so you lose if we break upāā¦ etc. You're being bullied. Get out and find your self worth. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 (edited) On 11/2/2021 at 4:11 PM, Idontknow21 said: and things like thisĀ and joking about how bad I am or how theyād ātake herā and furtherā¦ sounds so childishĀ āI have nothing to win from this relationship, but you haveā¦ because you donāt have experienceā¦ so you lose if we break upā Everyone needs to go into the garbage heap and be left there to rot.Ā It's time for you to clean house as far as your social group goes. and no, you will not be in the wrong for doing this. None of them mean you any good if this is how they act... I can imagine what they're saying behind your back.Ā Do not let them guilt you into hanging around for more insults--you deserve way better treatment than that. Edited November 8, 2021 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
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