occasional porn use

[Noproblem]

you are interfering in his leisure time, stop being very controlling and let him watch whatever he wants! You can read an erotic novel or comic if you want!

[smackie9]

 Your BF is pretty open and honest with you, but still that doesn't seem good enough and there lies the problem. It's you. You need therapy to deal with your insecurities. A therapist will teach you to develop coping skills to elevate this. If you can't afford one, go on amazon and seek out some self help books to read. At least that will get your started. put some money aside for future counseling sessions. Maybe check with HR at your work and see if there is something offered. My company offers so many free sessions for all kinds of things. It might be worth looking into.

Edited November 7, 2021 by smackie9

[Els]

On 11/6/2021 at 9:41 AM, Veronica73 said:

What are people meaning when they say “occasional” use of porn?

I think it depends more on the impact or lack thereof on their relationship and sex life, than on a technical definition of "occasional", if that makes sense? If someone watches porn, say, a few times a week, and they still have a good sex life, that's "occasional". If someone watches it the same amount but declines sex in favour of watching it, or compares their partner to porn, then that's likely to be an addiction.

Of course, if someone was watching for over an hour daily, I think it's safe to say that there's an addiction issue at hand regardless of whether they are declining sex or not.

On 11/6/2021 at 9:41 AM, Veronica73 said:

[...]porn is a big issue in a lot of relationships. I have read in more than one place that porn use is one of the factors that leads to divorces in many cases. 

It could be a big issue if both people have polar opposite views on it, so I'd say that (barring addiction as described above) the more important factor is compatibility, not porn use per se.

As a woman, I would break up with a partner if he tried to tell me that I wasn't "allowed" to watch porn or masturbate. It's not so much about the porn itself, as about the fact that I don't wish to be with someone who polices what I do in my private time unless it starts to interfere with my health or our relationship. The same goes if he tried to tell me that I shouldn't use social media, or I shouldn't play video games, or I shouldn't read a certain type of book. That's just not the sort of relationship I want to have.