My family doesn't like my sisters boyfriend

[Purplypurple]

My family and I do not like my sisters boyfriend which included my husband as well, which has a back story. My husband and I’s dislike for his comes from the night of our wedding he threatened to fight my husband, and was being manipulative to my husband, and my sister just rubbed it off and said he was embarrassed and it’s over and done with there was no apology this was two years ago, coming to now in 2021 every time our family is around him there is tension he treats my sister with so little respect, he manipulates her. Every time she is over at my house he gets mad that she isn’t home with him she’s on maternity leave they just had a baby with him and she already has a son with her ex boyfriend. Her boyfriend only cares about himself my parents and other family think he lives off of her he moves from job to job hasn’t been with a job longer than six months, my nephew he treats him so much differently than he does his own kids. He has two one with someone else and one with my sister. He also has no respect for my sisters co patenting with her ex. Lately my mom and I have received texts constantly how she is done and they are broken up and can’t do it anymore how he be littles her and he only cares about himself and then two hours later she is fine and they are still together.  I think she is just in love with the feeling of not being alone, and my sister knows that she isn’t in a good relationship, and I want to tell her what I see but I can’t tell her because I don’t want to ruin our relationship as we’re really close. 

[Pumpernickel]

It sounds like she knows she’s in a bad relationship & she also doesn’t sound happy so it’s merely a question of time until things break apart. Just try to be a good sister and don’t worry about anything else. You can’t push her to break up with her boyfriend, she will do it all by herself in her on timeframe. Make sure you’re there when it happens. 

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Purplypurple said:

 she’s on maternity leave they just had a baby with him and she already has a son with her ex boyfriend. 

It's not about him. It's about your sister and her poor choices. You can make him the scapegoat, but she picked him,had a child with him and stays with him.

Stop ganging up on her. Does she need you recruiting your husband and parents against her? She is obviously already troubled and has a complicated life full of bad decisions.

Focus on your relationship with her and her kids. Be a good aunt to them. Leave her poor choices in men out of the conversation. Unless she's being abused it doesn't matter if you or your husband "like" him or not.

[ShyViolet]

You can't control her or push her to break up with him; she's going to have to hit rock bottom and figure that out for herself.  I'm sure she already knows how you feel about him.  The rest is out of your control.  All you can do is refuse to see him and/or not invite him to gatherings, if his behavior is really that bad.  I think you would be perfectly justified to do that.