She quit without telling me

[mortensorchid]

I am a teacher.  I started a job this year at a charter school teaching kids K-3 who are behind in reading.  I was hired alongside another woman who said she had a career for years as a physical therapist but her business was shut down thanks to the pandemic.  We started off the first week in October and things were rocky.  

The student population is still masked, as well as the teachers.  Many of them are readjusting to being back in classes instead of at home.  Many staff quit and left the remaining in a scramble.  Behaviors are OUT OF CONTROL in all caps in kindergarten.  Some are completely illiterate or do not try at all.  It's hard, but it's what it is.

My coworker and I had a strictly working relationship, we only talked to each other over scheduling or troubles we would experience with the students before us.  We shared maybe a scrap or two of personal information, but other than that it was all business.  And one day last week she up and quit without telling me.  She left me high and dry with 30 kids on the caseload because she was unhappy with how disorganized everyone was.  I never complained about a thing because I had 7 years of teaching behind me and am used to dealing with these problems.  I even knew what to do with the ones with attitudes or the special ones and never complained when they took a swing or gave me attitude, even though it's not part of my job description.  And she couldn't take it anymore.  

I wonder why she told everyone else and not me.  

Edited November 6, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed name of employer

[hajk]

@mortensorchid Do you know for a fact that she told everyone else except you that she was leaving your workplace?  She sounded more like an acquaintance than a friend.  She might not feel comfortable talking with you and leaving you dealing with all the issues.

[Pumpernickel]

I don’t think that’s unusual. You quit a job, you tell HR & turn in your notice. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 
 

Plus, in this particular case, a) she wasn’t used to the type of work; it was a new experience for her, so she probably got overwhelmed quickly and made a rash decision, and b) she wasn’t a close coworker. Just a “regular” coworker. Why would she discuss that with you? I wouldn’t either. And also – she probably made up her mind relatively quickly, almost spontaneously. There probably wasn’t any time left to discuss her thought process & future plans at great length, I suppose. IF she told others (which you don’t know), in addition to HR or the principal or whoever’s in charge of personnel issues, then maybe she was closer to these other people/teachers. Or maybe she simply didn’t like you. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 
I don’t see anything unusual here. Why did you expect “more” from her?

[Happy Lemming]

When I worked, I never discussed my future plans with my employer or fellow employees.  It was none of their business.  When it was time for me to make a change, I would turn in two weeks notice to HR (in writing or e-mail).  If questioned by a direct supervisor, I would always say that I needed to make a change for personal reasons.

Co-workers are not friends and I don't owe them any information about my life or future plans.

[Happy Lemming]

@mortensorchid As a side note, Congrats on the teaching position.  I know you've had some struggles with employment, but glad to hear you are working in your field of choice.

[mortensorchid]

Here is an additional question to this, granted that all of you have made valid points and I might consider them as true or the real reason behind this:

I will see her next week at a member meeting as we are to have them once a month or so to update all as to our progress and how things are going at our assignments.  Should I bring it up to either her or our boss?

 

[mortensorchid]

On 11/6/2021 at 1:44 AM, hajk said:

@mortensorchid Do you know for a fact that she told everyone else except you that she was leaving your workplace?  She sounded more like an acquaintance than a friend.  She might not feel comfortable talking with you and leaving you dealing with all the issues.

I do know for a fact she told everyone else - on staff at the school where we are/were teaching, with our employer, as well as the principal at the school.  I questioned all the teachers whose kids we are/were pulling and they said they knew.  And no she was not a friend, nor an acquaintance, she was a coworker and it was strictly business between her and me.  

[basil67]

5 minutes ago, mortensorchid said:

Here is an additional question to this, granted that all of you have made valid points and I might consider them as true or the real reason behind this:

I will see her next week at a member meeting as we are to have them once a month or so to update all as to our progress and how things are going at our assignments.  Should I bring it up to either her or our boss?

plus

I do know for a fact she told everyone else - on staff at the school where we are/were teaching, with our employer, as well as the principal at the school.  I questioned all the teachers whose kids we are/were pulling and they said they knew.  And no she was not a friend, nor an acquaintance, she was a coworker and it was strictly business between her and me.  

 

Nooooo!  She's done nothing reportable or even worth having a discussion over.    That she didn't tell you simply reflects that you were not friends or acquaintances. 

You've said in the past that the workplace isn't where friends are found.  Not being told stuff like this is what happens when you're not friend or even acquaintances.  If you choose walk alone, don't be sad when you're not included.

Edited November 9, 2021 by basil67

[FMW]

No, other than maybe telling her you had been surprised and sorry to see her go.  Anything more would make you make you seem critical and complaining.   

[mortensorchid]

I guess it's all relative because guess what?  I am no longer with the company.  She left me with 30 kids and I was doing my absolute best, then after a half day and an online training from home, this afternoon I got a phone call from my supervisor.  She said they no longer wished to have me at rhe school.  I asked why.  She said that they thought I was unkind towards some of the students, I was not effectively managing my time and I was leaving early.  I said I had no idea anyone was unhappy with me.  I tried my best to keep it all together - I never complained about anyone or anything on staff.  I tried hard to make it work, but I guess it's what it is.  Back to subbing and driving instruction and teaching online.  I will never understand this.

[elaine567]

5 minutes ago, mortensorchid said:

She said that they thought I was unkind towards some of the students, I was not effectively managing my time and I was leaving early. 

Feedback from your co-worker perhaps?

[mortensorchid]

11 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Feedback from your co-worker perhaps?

I have no idea.  But hey, too bad.  Moving on.  I am a sociopath, hard as a rock, nothing hurts me.  Coldest blood runs through my veins.  I'm not afraid.

[FMW]

I'm very sorry it didn't work out.  It sounds like it was a very difficult situation in which to work.   

[QuietRiot]

On 11/6/2021 at 12:33 AM, mortensorchid said:

I am a teacher.  I started a job this year at a charter school teaching kids K-3 who are behind in reading.  I was hired alongside another woman who said she had a career for years as a physical therapist but her business was shut down thanks to the pandemic.  We started off the first week in October and things were rocky.  

The student population is still masked, as well as the teachers.  Many of them are readjusting to being back in classes instead of at home.  Many staff quit and left the remaining in a scramble.  Behaviors are OUT OF CONTROL in all caps in kindergarten.  Some are completely illiterate or do not try at all.  It's hard, but it's what it is.

My coworker and I had a strictly working relationship, we only talked to each other over scheduling or troubles we would experience with the students before us.  We shared maybe a scrap or two of personal information, but other than that it was all business.  And one day last week she up and quit without telling me.  She left me high and dry with 30 kids on the caseload because she was unhappy with how disorganized everyone was.  I never complained about a thing because I had 7 years of teaching behind me and am used to dealing with these problems.  I even knew what to do with the ones with attitudes or the special ones and never complained when they took a swing or gave me attitude, even though it's not part of my job description.  And she couldn't take it anymore.  

I wonder why she told everyone else and not me.  

Are you sure she quit, or was she let go like yourself?  

Funny how other teachers were also leaving, you'd think they'd keep you on board since you were willing to stick around.

[mortensorchid]

11 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

Are you sure she quit, or was she let go like yourself?  

Funny how other teachers were also leaving, you'd think they'd keep you on board since you were willing to stick around.

She quit.  

I hear that this particular charter is going through a horrific change which will result in many people quitting, being fired, etc.  What was my role in it?  Not much, but it's sad.  The students are the ones who suffer here, they have so little a chance in life and this isn't going to help them any more.  But hey, life goes on.