Abruptly just got dumped and now feeling incredibly depressed.

[CindyLou1]

I was with my partner for just a few months, and 2 days before he dumped me he was telling me how he was so in love with me, wanted me to have his children, how he wanted to marry me etc. Considering it has only been a couple months, yes, it seemed to be moving quite fast but I wasn't complaining. In fact I am head over heels in love with him... he treats me better than anyone ever has and then, suddenly, out of nowhere - "I think we should just be friends" he tells me. 

This is the first man I have opened up to about my past. About my sexual assault which I currently am in therapy for. The things I talk about in therapy, I talked to him about because he felt like my best friend as well as my boyfriend. He supported me, and loved me the best way I've ever experienced. We were literally planning on going to dinner Friday before he dumped me and also going to visit his Sister because she is expecting a baby. 

I'm devastated and don't really know why it ended or what put him off. He has been feeling down himself lately and I bought him a PS5 that he wanted and a bunch of games so he could take his mind off of things, I also bought us tickets to this spa weekend in 2 weeks time. Anyway, I am trying to be his friend and be there for him but I'm really struggling because I miss him terribly. 

 

Don't really know what to do anymore. 

[ExpatInItaly]

I’m sorry this has happened. 

But don’t try to be his friend. It’s a losing gamble. You need to cut contact with him or it will hurt you even more to watch him move on from you. 

In the future, be wary of men who come on too strongly, too quickly. It suggests an impulsive nature and lack of mature judgement, not love. It’s hard not to get swept up in the thrill, but when it’s only been a few months, it’s not enough to bank a future on. 

For your own benefit, leave this guy in your dust. 
 

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. Don't try to be friends. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

It's not your job to "support him" through his gaming hobby.

A couple of months is the time to get to know each other and see if you are a good fit.

In the future, keep what you and your therapist discuss private and confidential. Don't open up this quickly about highly sensitive information.

He seems insincere and flaky. The future talk was a huge red flag to watch out for.

Is he on/off with someone? The breakup seems unplanned and not related to your relationship.

[CindyLou1]

10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. Don't try to be friends. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

It's not your job to "support him" through his gaming hobby.

A couple of months is the time to get to know each other and see if you are a good fit.

In the future, keep what you and your therapist discuss private and confidential. Don't open up this quickly about highly sensitive information.

He seems insincere and flaky. The future talk was a huge red flag to watch out for.

Is he on/off with someone? The breakup seems unplanned and not related to your relationship.

No, there is no one else, at least I don't think so. When I tried getting an explanation he told me that he doesn't even know how he feels or what he's thinking, but he needs to work on himself and he isn't sure about us. He told me he feels very depressed and theres issues he needs to fix. 

To me it just seems like a lame excuse to end the relationship because I'm a very supportive partner when it comes to things like that. I'm still in shock that he even ended it and I feel embarrassed. 

I'm 28 years old and my life is nothing like I planned. I have to now move back in with my parents, all my friends and family members are married with children and here I am with nothing to my name and have no one.

[CindyLou1]

10 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I’m sorry this has happened. 

But don’t try to be his friend. It’s a losing gamble. You need to cut contact with him or it will hurt you even more to watch him move on from you. 

In the future, be wary of men who come on too strongly, too quickly. It suggests an impulsive nature and lack of mature judgement, not love. It’s hard not to get swept up in the thrill, but when it’s only been a few months, it’s not enough to bank a future on. 

For your own benefit, leave this guy in your dust. 
 

Yeah, I'm the type of person to wear my heart on my sleeve but I don't trust easily and this was the first person I have really trusted in a relationship. I will have to cut contact once I move out, I'm still living here - I don't think he has told anyone we have broken up yet because we had plans booked for christmas with his family and his sister contacted me yesterday to ask what I wanted for my christmas dessert. I didn't reply. 

I still have yet to tell my parents also. I will be getting a big lecture when I do, so that's probably why I am holding off. My psychiatrist told me I won't be able to heal in that environment (living with my parents) because they are highly toxic, so I am dreading all of this.

[Wiseman2]

47 minutes ago, QueenBanrigh said:

I will have to cut contact once I move out, I'm still living here

How long were you dating before you moved in?

[CindyLou1]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long were you dating before you moved in?

I only moved in over a month ago, I'm not sure exactly how long it has been maybe 5-6 months? The only reason I moved here is because his roommate moved out and he asked me if I'd like to move in instead of him looking for a new roommate. 

[Wiseman2]

Just now, QueenBanrigh said:

I only moved in over a month ago, I'm not sure exactly how long it has been maybe 5-6 months? The only reason I moved here is because his roommate moved out and he asked me if I'd like to move in instead of him looking for a new roommate. 

Ok. It's sad but he seems flaky if once you move in (to save him effort/money) he asks you to leave.

Consider that staying at your parents is temporary while you research other living arrangements. Look for affordable housing, roommates, house-sharing etc.

You dodged a bullet if he's this flaky and superficial and uses the "have to work on myself" excuse .

[CindyLou1]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok. It's sad but he seems flaky if once you move in (to save him effort/money) he asks you to leave.

Consider that staying at your parents is temporary while you research other living arrangements. Look for affordable housing, roommates, house-sharing etc.

You dodged a bullet if he's this flaky and superficial and uses the "have to work on myself" excuse .

Yeah, I am dreading the process of this. I wish I could press fast forward to the part where I'm living by myself or something. I mostly stay out when he's home, like right now I am my aunts house helping her decorate. Around 11pm I'll go back home when i know he's in bed and then I'll make a bed up in his old roommates bedroom. I try to avoid interacting with him but sometimes he will text me.