Is my MM serious about us?

[2021girl]

Moderator note: This thread has been split from 

 

I am in a similar position to you, I have been with MM for three years, I see him everyday both morning before work and evenings after work, we also share a similar hobby so both attend that a few times a week and because it's also social, we go out for drinks in that group about once/twice a month. He is married 20+ years and has two grown up children. He is not unhappily married but tells me that they are just more like friends and have no intimacy. He tells me he loves me every day and rings and texts me constantly. Reading your words has kinda made me realise that I really don't know where I stand, I want to run off into the sunset with him (I am single, separated from my LTR about 4 years ago), I have a grown up son thag8in college so I live on my own).He tells me he wants to be with me full time but I want him to make his own decision and not pressure him into it although I'm starting to think that this will never happen, I feel that maybe after reading posts here that my MM is typical of most in that he is really deep down leading me on.. I want to believe his words and they sound so genuine when he tells me that he wants to be with me but I'm starting to think that actions speak louder than words. I want him to leave on his own accord to prove to me that he is serious but I'm really doubting that this will ever happen. I am starting to feel recently that if he was to come and live with me, would it be worth it ? It sounds ideal but in reality I am will always be seen as the OW and will always have to deal with that fact that he has left his wife and family and will always be tied down. So why do I keep seeing him I ask myself, The answer is that I have fallen in love and am not sure how best to proceed, I just don't know what to do anymore about it

Edited November 10, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, 2021girl said:

I want to believe his words and they sound so genuine when he tells me that he wants to be with me

After three years, if he wanted to be with you - he would be with you. 

The truth is exactly as you said it - he is not unhappily married, at least not enough to file for divorce.  He is probably quite happy with things as they are right now. If he wasn’t, he would change it.  

As it stands now, he has a good relationship with his wife, they are enjoying the home and the family they have built together. And, he has an adoring other woman who wishes him a wonderful day in the morning, tells him that she loves him every night, a partner with whom he can share his hobby, with whom he can socialize, with whom he can enjoy the intimacy that is perhaps the only thing lacking at this stage of his marriage… You dream of sharing a life together… he has exactly what he wants right now. 

Edited November 8, 2021 by BaileyB

[Myabee]

On 11/8/2021 at 6:01 PM, BaileyB said:

After three years, if he wanted to be with you - he would be with you. 

The truth is exactly as you said it - he is not unhappily married, at least not enough to file for divorce.  He is probably quite happy with things as they are right now. If he wasn’t, he would change it.  

As it stands now, he has a good relationship with his wife, they are enjoying the home and the family they have built together. And, he has an adoring other woman who wishes him a wonderful day in the morning, tells him that she loves him every night, a partner with whom he can share his hobby, with whom he can socialize, with whom he can enjoy the intimacy that is perhaps the only thing lacking at this stage of his marriage… You dream of sharing a life together… he has exactly what he wants right now. 

And this is exactly how it will stay. I am interjecting as I have learned this lesson asfter 17 months.Best of both worlds for my MM.. Happy enough to stay and had be on the side to compensate for what’s missing. It’s called giving them what they want and the more I did that the more the situation would remain un changed. Walk away.