Should I Reach Out to My Ex's Ex?

[Capetownkendra]

I was in a very abusive relationship years ago. I often think about the women that have followed me (or even the ones who he cheated on me with - most likely them having no knowledge of me).
Because we do still have a couple mutual friends I could easily find and get in touch with a new girl if I really wanted to.
I have a bit of survivors guilt, I guess. Knowing what he's like and how dangerous he can be (emotionally, physically, financially etc.) I feel compelled to warn these women but I don't know if it's my place or if they would even believe me because he's so manipulative. Not to mention, if she told him, I would be afraid for my own safety.
I did reach out to one girl while I was still with him because I found out he was sleeping with her and he had given me chlamydia. I finally left him. Shortly after, she got tested and was luckily negative so he would have got it elsewhere but before all this he had cracked her hip bone after an argument and she was still meeting with him. After we chatted for a while she cut off contact with him.
I had heard awhile back he was living with a girl and my heart really ached for her. She would cross my mind here and there and I hoped she would get away from him. Well, it's been over a year and I was told she left. Packed and donated everything she had, left her business behind and moved outside the province. She's also 5 months pregnant with his kid. But she's cut contact with him.
Would it be wrong of me to reach out to her to offer support if she needs someone to talk to? I'm a (relatively) new mom as well and she's so young. It's even nice just to have another mom to talk to. I've had 2 women reach out to me from an ex boyfriend in the past and the talks we had were very cathartic and we remain close friends to this day. I wonder if it would be the same for her or if I'm just atypical in thinking this? I don't want to overstep but I can't stop thinking about her and what the right thing is to do.
Thank you for your help x

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Capetownkendra said:

. Knowing what he's like and how dangerous he can be 

Absolutely not. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Revenge (dressed up as a public service message) won't make you feel any better.

Focus soley on your mental and physical health and happiness. Make sure you have a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

Steer clear and don't do things that will lead him back to you.

[Blind-Sided]

If you try to reach out... that will just make you the "Crazy exGF".  

For you to feel better... you need to not worry about him.  If what he is doing is at the criminal level... then it will catch up with him.  If he's just an A-hole... well... there's no laws about that. 

[vla1120]

6 hours ago, Capetownkendra said:

Not to mention, if she told him, I would be afraid for my own safety.

While I empathize with wanting to warn these women, you have a child. Your child and your own safety is your number one priority. I'm not even sure it's a great idea for you to keep mutual friends.

[glows]

No, this is exceedingly creepy. Please strive always to move forwards, care for yourself and your child. Anything else can be seen as manipulative and off-kilter. Try not to keep reliving your past through these women. 

[Taramere]

On 11/11/2021 at 11:44 AM, Capetownkendra said:

I was in a very abusive relationship years ago. I often think about the women that have followed me (or even the ones who he cheated on me with - most likely them having no knowledge of me).
Because we do still have a couple mutual friends I could easily find and get in touch with a new girl if I really wanted to.
I have a bit of survivors guilt, I guess. Knowing what he's like and how dangerous he can be (emotionally, physically, financially etc.) I feel compelled to warn these women but I don't know if it's my place or if they would even believe me because he's so manipulative. Not to mention, if she told him, I would be afraid for my own safety.

No, it's definitely not your place to do that. Not only would you bring drama into your life and possibly place yourself at risk...but a step like this could potentially result in him taking legal action against you for harassment.  Just be glad you're no longer involved with him, and resist the temptation to try playing rescuer to another woman who has chosen to be in a relationship with him.