My boyfriend will not take me to a concert because of the pandemic. Should I find another way to go?

[Understanding11]

There's a concert that I really want to attend. I would be bringing along my daughter and her friend.  My boyfriend however is adamant in that he does not want us to go and that he will not drive us (its 3.5 hours away) because he doesn't want us to get sick or for him to get sick. Hes not vaccinated, is in his late 40s and has diabetes. I'm not vaccinated and my daughter is partially vaccinated. My boyfriend are not getting vaccinated (we have exemptions) and my daughter will get her second dose next week.

I did some research on the venue and it holds 3,000 people and its indoors! I didn't know this. I thought it was much smaller. I looked at recent concert pics held at this venue and people were packed in like sardines. I will admit that made me hesitant. 

The venue requires full vaccination and wearing a mask is optional if you're fully vaccinated. If you have an exemption you need to submit a negative covid test and wear a mask.

The show is sold out but I'm thinking maybe 3,000 people wont all go and it'll be ok. 

On the other hand, we've all been pretty good with social distancing and avoiding crowds of people for a little over 2 years now and we've been ok, not sick and so is this risk worth it?

I was thinking  since my bf wont take us we could get there by bus and then when we get back we could take a covid test as well as quarantine ourselves from my boyfriend for about 10 to 14 days. Of course I'd be taking a risk  with my health but I'm not immunocompromised and have no diseases. I'm in my mid 30s and generally healthy with the exception of a low vitamin b12 count.

My boyfriend was originally against this concert months ago when I purchased the tickets and then just two weeks ago he was opene to the idea of taking us and now we're back to square one with a firm no. 

 

Any thoughts on this?? Should we take the bus and go? Or  Should we sit this one out?

[basil67]

I would imagine that if this is open to people who are fully vaccinated, it will be near capacity.   As for the risk to you and your daughter, your doctor would be the best one to advise you on this. 

[Angelle]

3000 people will go. 

A friend of mine caught covid at a concert, last week. 

[elaine567]

3 hours ago, Understanding11 said:

I'm in my mid 30s and generally healthy with the exception of a low vitamin b12 count.

You have an exemption, why is that???

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Understanding11 said:

My boyfriend was originally against this concert months ago when I purchased the tickets.

Are the tickets refundable? Try selling them. While you may be ok with the idea, your BF is being reasonable protecting himself.

 

[Blind-Sided]

Goin is basically a roll of the dice.  3000 people in doors... well... I'm guessing there will be a bunch of people who will have it after.   And... the real issue is... you don't know how it will effect you.  My GF's grandmother died from this.  I was on the verge of going to the hospital from this (and was sick for a month, and took 7 months to almost fully recover. (at 11 months there are still issues)  But my 73 year old mother was like a cold, and my GF's mom was 100% asymptomatic. 

That's just for your knowledge.

Now... the core of this goes deeper. Your BF doesn't want you to go for valid reasons.  He wont take you for REAL reasons.  If you find a way to go... there is a REAL possibility that it will be the end of the relationship.  Is the concert really worth that? 

[elaine567]

Stay at home.
Protect your bf.
It is far from over and he is at increased risk.

[BaileyB]

Personally, I wouldn’t attend the concert.

It seems reasonable that you would ind your own transportation and do not see him for 14 days after. Go to the concert with that knowledge. 

[BaileyB]

24 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

It seems reasonable that you would find your own transportation and do not see him for 14 days after. Go to the concert with that knowledge. 

Sorry, that was poorly worded. It should say - IF, you decide to go to the concert despite your boyfriends concern for/his your safety, you should expect that you will need to find your own way there and you will not see him for 14 days after the concert. Personally, I think he has a valid concern. You know the drill by now, people who have had a high risk exposure need to do what is required to keep others safe. 

Edited November 12, 2021 by BaileyB

[Foxhall]

I’d imagine there is a high enough chance you will get the virus by going

no masks ,people sneezing ,coughing ,ignorant, no regard for social distance 

Then your not vaccinated although how good are the vaccines anyway

so you would want to be pretty confident that you will only get a light dose if you catch it

hmmn I’d say skip it.

 

 

 

[Veronica73]

If you are unvaccinated, and haven’t recovered from Covid, then you are most likely going to get it. Decide if you are okay with that or not and behave accordingly.

[Veronica73]

4 hours ago, Foxhall said:

I’d imagine there is a high enough chance you will get the virus by going

no masks ,people sneezing ,coughing ,ignorant, no regard for social distance 

Then your not vaccinated although how good are the vaccines anyway

so you would want to be pretty confident that you will only get a light dose if you catch it

hmmn I’d say skip it.

 

 

 

The vaccines are very good at preventing hospitalizations and death of those who are vaccinated.

[jspice]

If you really want to go, then go. Nobody can tell you what to do. I’m fully vaccinated but I don’t see myself going through such a packed indoor venue for a long time.  My opinion is that probably everyone who bought a ticket, will go because people have been stuck at home so long. 
 

I think as long as you do the quarantine thing, you should feel free to go but stay away from your boyfriend for two weeks as you wrote above. 

[AngryGromit]

13 hours ago, Understanding11 said:

Any thoughts on this?? Should we take the bus and go? Or  Should we sit this one out?

My boss recently attended a concert a month ago and was infected by covid.  Fortunately he got all his vaccine shots and was only sick for three days or so.  My Girlfriends Boss also get infected around the same time, (but didn't go to a concert) she was also vaccinated and was very sick for 3 weeks, but no hospitalization.  Me and my Girlfriend recently attended a social party and we were the ONLY ones at the event wearing masks, (not much socially distancing either) we ended up leaving in 20 minutes because where was no dance floor like there were in previous events we attended. If you do attend the event, chances are your going to find that few people will be wearing masks and the crowd will have a high density. If people were honest and wore masks if they weren't vaccinated, It be a lot safer, but often if you dead set against getting vaccinated, your also not wearing your masks. This is a recipe for getting infected, and being in good health does not guarantee you will not get very sick and die from the virus. it this event worth worth risking you life? You might not think so as you struggle to draw you last breaths in the ICU.  Your risks are much high if your not vaccinated. You can roll the dice or spin the revolver cylinder, maybe there isn't a bullet in the chamber when you pull the trigger. 

Edited November 12, 2021 by AngryGromit

[glows]

Would you enjoy the concert knowing the risks? I wouldn't be able to, not with two younger people to look out for either - your daughter and her friend, and on top of that the risk of transmitting it to others. It would be a constant at the back of my mind. For that reason, no, I wouldn't do it. The enjoyment experienced is miniscule relative to or in comparison to the risks. 

[Angelle]

44 minutes ago, glows said:

Would you enjoy the concert knowing the risks? I wouldn't be able to, not with two younger people to look out for either - your daughter and her friend, and on top of that the risk of transmitting it to others. It would be a constant at the back of my mind. For that reason, no, I wouldn't do it. The enjoyment experienced is miniscule relative to or in comparison to the risks. 

Same here. I saw the guy who made Pulp Fiction, talking about the experience of going to the movies - how special it can be. I could relate to what he said, but it won't be the same, wondering how many people in there have had it, or been exposed to it. If I might have been exposed, and passing it along to someone who couldn't handle it. When all of this first started, I realized I'd been standing too close to a baby, at one point, in a store, and I was terrified that I might have put her at risk (I'd had a mild cold, a week before, and this was before masks were mandatory for a while). I was tired of being told to stop living in fear, over a year ago. So many people dead, so many more dealing with long covid. I've read one man's thread about being hospitalized with covid, for almost a month. I'm still going to try to avoid that for myself and others, if I can.

 

Edited November 12, 2021 by Angelle

[spiderowl]

21 hours ago, Understanding11 said:

There's a concert that I really want to attend. I would be bringing along my daughter and her friend.  My boyfriend however is adamant in that he does not want us to go and that he will not drive us (its 3.5 hours away) because he doesn't want us to get sick or for him to get sick. Hes not vaccinated, is in his late 40s and has diabetes. I'm not vaccinated and my daughter is partially vaccinated. My boyfriend are not getting vaccinated (we have exemptions) and my daughter will get her second dose next week.

I did some research on the venue and it holds 3,000 people and its indoors! I didn't know this. I thought it was much smaller. I looked at recent concert pics held at this venue and people were packed in like sardines. I will admit that made me hesitant. 

The venue requires full vaccination and wearing a mask is optional if you're fully vaccinated. If you have an exemption you need to submit a negative covid test and wear a mask.

The show is sold out but I'm thinking maybe 3,000 people wont all go and it'll be ok. 

On the other hand, we've all been pretty good with social distancing and avoiding crowds of people for a little over 2 years now and we've been ok, not sick and so is this risk worth it?

I was thinking  since my bf wont take us we could get there by bus and then when we get back we could take a covid test as well as quarantine ourselves from my boyfriend for about 10 to 14 days. Of course I'd be taking a risk  with my health but I'm not immunocompromised and have no diseases. I'm in my mid 30s and generally healthy with the exception of a low vitamin b12 count.

My boyfriend was originally against this concert months ago when I purchased the tickets and then just two weeks ago he was opene to the idea of taking us and now we're back to square one with a firm no. 

 

Any thoughts on this?? Should we take the bus and go? Or  Should we sit this one out?

If you really want to go to this concert and are not afraid that you will get ill and die (which is quite possible incidentally), then you are best finding an alternative way to get there and to avoid your boyfriend for the full quarantine period afterwards.

Frankly, for the unvaccinated, this virus is a possible death sentence, especially those over 35 and those who have diabetes.  My sister died from this virus, she had type two diabetes but was otherwise healthy and was much fitter than me.  I also lost another close member of my family.  Neither were vaccinated at the time because vaccines were not available then.  Vaccines are miracles and we are so fortunate to have them now!

Had you considered you might be putting yourself at risk, let alone your boyfriend?  Your boyfriend is at high risk of dying if he gets this illness.  I do not know why he is not vaccinated but it would be best if he could get fully vaccinated asap.  Regardless of that, he should not give you and your party a lift back from the venue (in case you caught it while there) but probably should not give you and your daughter and her friend a lift there either, in case any of you have been exposed to the virus prior to going to the venue.  Basically, those who are unvaccinated are terribly vulnerable.

Unlike many people, I speak from real-life experience.  Please take this virus seriously.  It destroys the lungs so that even if you are strong and healthy, you might not recover from the lung damage caused.  If you are going to take risks such as mixing with unvaccinated people and especially large groups of people, you need to be aware that is a matter of luck whether you catch it or not.  Your boyfriend is more aware, it seems.

Edited November 13, 2021 by spiderowl

[Wiseman2]

Watch the concert on HBO. Better audio and video.

A lot better than a 3hr trip, arguing with the BF or getting Covid, no?

[BaileyB]

On 11/12/2021 at 4:03 PM, glows said:

Would you enjoy the concert knowing the risks? I wouldn't be able to not with two younger people to look out for either

This is very true. I went to what could be described as an outdoor gathering this past summer with my niece and nephew. Numbers were very low, but there was more people than I anticipated. I was very uncomfortable. Had I not had two very excited little people with me, I would have left. In line to purchase tickets, the person in front of me and the person behind me both commented about how many people were in line - it was clear than they were also uncomfortable. It limited what we did that day, how long we stayed, and it definitely affected my enjoyment that day. Just something to consider. 

[QuietRiot]

On 11/12/2021 at 12:36 AM, Understanding11 said:

There's a concert that I really want to attend. I would be bringing along my daughter and her friend.  My boyfriend however is adamant in that he does not want us to go and that he will not drive us (its 3.5 hours away) because he doesn't want us to get sick or for him to get sick. Hes not vaccinated, is in his late 40s and has diabetes. I'm not vaccinated and my daughter is partially vaccinated. My boyfriend are not getting vaccinated (we have exemptions) and my daughter will get her second dose next week.

I did some research on the venue and it holds 3,000 people and its indoors! I didn't know this. I thought it was much smaller. I looked at recent concert pics held at this venue and people were packed in like sardines. I will admit that made me hesitant. 

The venue requires full vaccination and wearing a mask is optional if you're fully vaccinated. If you have an exemption you need to submit a negative covid test and wear a mask.

The show is sold out but I'm thinking maybe 3,000 people wont all go and it'll be ok. 

On the other hand, we've all been pretty good with social distancing and avoiding crowds of people for a little over 2 years now and we've been ok, not sick and so is this risk worth it?

I was thinking  since my bf wont take us we could get there by bus and then when we get back we could take a covid test as well as quarantine ourselves from my boyfriend for about 10 to 14 days. Of course I'd be taking a risk  with my health but I'm not immunocompromised and have no diseases. I'm in my mid 30s and generally healthy with the exception of a low vitamin b12 count.

My boyfriend was originally against this concert months ago when I purchased the tickets and then just two weeks ago he was opene to the idea of taking us and now we're back to square one with a firm no. 

 

Any thoughts on this?? Should we take the bus and go? Or  Should we sit this one out?

 

Find out the county by county PER 100,000 infectivity rate. Covid Act Now is a site that shows this. If it's 5/100K or less, it's low risk, 5 to 15/100K, med. risk, and then anything above 15 is high risk, so act accordingly. But even at low risk, there's still a risk

In case of this indoor event, it'd better be low risk, but even inside? Not sure I'd even consider that.....without a mask.