Are Divorcees Likely to Find Better Partners After Divorce?

[AMarriedMan]

A Flemish study looked into this. Here's the abstract:
 

Quote

The similarity of the Big Five personality traits of ex-spouses and new partners was examined post-divorce. The notion that divorcees replicate their partner choice (fixed-type hypothesis) was tested against the hypotheses that they learn to select a new partner with more marriage-stabilizing personality traits than their former spouse (learning hypothesis), or are constrained by marriage market forces to repartner with someone who has less stabilizing personality traits (marriage market hypothesis). Data was derived from a Flemish study that sampled divorcees from the national register. The sample consisted of 700 triads of divorcees, their ex-spouses, and their new partners. The analysis results rejected the fixed-type hypothesis and instead supported both the learning hypothesis and the marriage market hypothesis, with higher order repartnering supporting the latter. Women also seemed to validate both hypotheses, as their partner comparison showed decreases in both stabilizing traits (conscientiousness and agreeableness) and destabilizing traits (neuroticism and extraversion). Overall, the results seem to suggest that divorcees do not repartner with someone of the same personality as their ex-spouse, and they are in some cases constrained by marriage market forces to repartner with less stabilizing personalities, while in other cases they are able to improve their partner selection.

Source: https://www.mdpi.com/2076-0760/10/11/431/htm

The conclusion seems to be that people tend to learn from past mistakes but are constrained by the available partner pool in their choice of next partner. In other words, people whose marriages have broken down tend to look for stability but may have difficulty finding stable people to marry.

Edited November 13, 2021 by AMarriedMan

[central]

It makes sense that people learn from their experiences, but applying that knowledge is constrained by available dating pool. 

My second wife has a much more compatible personality type, and I got lucky in that she is far less neurotic than my ex.  We both learned from our first marriages, and have done far better this time in every way (almost 22 years later).  We've all heard that second (and subsequent) marriages carry a higher divorce rate, though, but I think that's largely because once you've gone through divorce and done well beyond, you know you don't have to put up with a bad relationship if you don't want to.  A second marriage can also be more difficult due to blending existing families, etc.

[AMarriedMan]

On 11/13/2021 at 6:06 PM, central said:

It makes sense that people learn from their experiences, but applying that knowledge is constrained by available dating pool. 

My second wife has a much more compatible personality type, and I got lucky in that she is far less neurotic than my ex.  We both learned from our first marriages, and have done far better this time in every way (almost 22 years later).  We've all heard that second (and subsequent) marriages carry a higher divorce rate, though, but I think that's largely because once you've gone through divorce and done well beyond, you know you don't have to put up with a bad relationship if you don't want to.  A second marriage can also be more difficult due to blending existing families, etc.

Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry I'm replying only now. I got distracted.

I think there are a lot of reasons for the greater likelihood of second, third and so on marriages breaking down. You mention two. One more could be that people who have avoidant attachment styles or very volatile temperaments may be more likely to get divorced one or more times. 

Blending families is one aspect of remarrying that would deter me from remarrying if I were to divorce. I really hate if I get justifiable but contradictory demands made on me by different parties. Having to juggle demands or even something like holidays while taking into account many people not all of whom might even want to co-operate.

 

[Woggle]

I sure did. My first marriage was a nightmare but I truly struck gold the second time around.

[searching heart]

Recently read a study that a woman over 40 has a 16% chance today finding another husband . They sighted the differences in women today verses 20+ years ago . Men tend to marry younger as that's what  younger women are looking for in stability and younger men have been feminized. Don't know if it's true as I'm a older gent 

[emprosnet7]

"Overall, the results seem to suggest that divorcees do not re-partner with someone of the same personality as their ex-spouse" - Even the slightest resemblance to my ex turns me off, so that is a yes.

"and they are in some cases constrained by marriage market forces to repartner with less stabilizing personalities" - already met two unstable ladies so that is a yes also. Managed to clear before things get serious.

"while in other cases they are able to improve their partner selection." - That is the ultimate goal.

[stillafool]

On 11/27/2021 at 7:38 PM, searching heart said:

Recently read a study that a woman over 40 has a 16% chance today finding another husband . They sighted the differences in women today verses 20+ years ago . Men tend to marry younger as that's what  younger women are looking for in stability and younger men have been feminized. Don't know if it's true as I'm a older gent 

Well I was 40 when I remarried and prior to had no problem attracting men so I think it depends on the woman.