toxic relationship

[Candy1981]

I've been dating a guy who pretended to be so in love with me. I found out he has a girlfriend. And other side girls. That's the short story. I have stopped talking to him obviously, but how do I get over this fast because I am so upset from it? And how do I stop picking people who are bad for me?

[spiderowl]

Sorry to hear what happened.  The way to get over it is to realise he was not a good guy and you are not stuck with him for life.  I know that sounds blunt when you are still hurting.

How long were you dating this guy?

If you look back, were there any signs he was seeing others?

Did you have an agreement that you would be exclusive?  Sometimes some people assume they are not unless there has been a discussion about it.

[Alpacalia]

5 minutes ago, Candy1981 said:

And how do I stop picking people who are bad for me?

Sometime I think that first relationship, I feel, sets the tone for all of our later interactions. 

My first two relationships were nice, with two wonderful men, but it doesn't mean I haven't encountered some stinkers along the road.

Do you think about what went wrong in previous relationships when you're not in one? 

Are you afraid of being alone? 

Perhaps less attention should be paid to the reasons why you continually choosing unsuitable men. 

Instead, focus on what you want to see happen in your life. 

Allow yourself and your relationship more opportunities to communicate, observe, interact, and get to know each other by taking your time and slowing down.

[smackie9]

Well I know others that have gone through like you did. They took time out to review and realized things that they should have questioned, but ignored. With experience comes lessons learned, and growth to move forward, knowledge to take with you. Do that.