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My next step? update


Gaeta

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8 hours ago, Gaeta said:

I think he meant women are not courting but luring men. He is looking at this from a man's point of view.

From a mans POV he’s keeping his distance from you and taking this very slow unsure what’s with you.

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3 hours ago, Gaeta said:

I have a friend, 49 who does not drive so he's bias a bit. He says it's a lesson l've been needing to learn. 


what lesson?

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4 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:


what lesson?

That the value of a person is not linked to him driving or not. That l should have let him show me how he handles distance without a car, to not assume he would have been a burden on me. 

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You really don't want or need a man this badly, come on.  

He doesn't drive and now you're chasing him.  He hasn't asked you out.  You only went back because your other options didn't pan out - we've all been on the receiving end of that and it sucks.  He was your B option.  

Now he's a challenge and you want him.  Stop stooping so low to have a man's attention.  

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Just now, Allupinnit said:

 You only went back because your other options didn't pan out -

How do you know that? I always have options and other dates. A lot of the time l find them boring, this man was intellectually stimulating, that happens 1 time out of 10. 

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10 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

That the value of a person is not linked to him driving or not. That l should have let him show me how he handles distance without a car, to not assume he would have been a burden on me. 

It's not his job to "teach you a lesson".... you've never even met the guy.  This is kind of crazy.  

If he's upset about the way you rejected him, then he should have just not contacted you again.  The fact that he thinks it's appropriate to engage in this weird, passive aggressive exchange with you and express all this resentment, when you've NEVER even met,  is seriously weird.  I would run from this if I were you.

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2 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

It's not his job to "teach you a lesson".... you've never even met the guy.  This is kind of crazy.  

This was a friend telling me this, not him.

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Just now, Gaeta said:

This was a friend telling me this, not him.

Oh ok.  Well, what I said after that still applies.

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7 hours ago, Gaeta said:

 Now that he's expressed he's not gonna unroll the red carpet because I'm suddenly back....I want him more. 

You do know that this is the premise that the whole PUA thing is based on?   Treat em mean, keep em keen.

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18 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

Deleted the friend?

No no lol. That's a friend of 10 years. 

I deleted no-car guy. 

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Just now, Gaeta said:

No no lol. That's a friend of 10 years. 

I deleted no-car guy. 

Oh well. It seems like he could not get over you dumping him previously and wasn't in any hurry to ask you out again anyway. Wait, can you actually dump someone you've never met in a real life?

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He wrote to me.

He said l hurt his male ego, l made him feel small and that feeling will not go away as long as he doesn't drive.

That solves it. 

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44 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

No no lol. That's a friend of 10 years. 

I deleted no-car guy. 

You gave up talking to him again???

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6 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

He wrote to me.

He said l hurt his male ego, l made him feel small and that feeling will not go away as long as he doesn't drive.

That solves it. 

Ie you castrated him…

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16 hours ago, Gaeta said:

The following day I sent him a message offering him to do this the good old way and to talk over a coffee. He read my message last night and did not reply. 

Did you ever hear back from him? 

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4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you ever hear back from him? 

Yes, Read 4 or 5 post up.

He wrote to me.

He said l hurt his male ego, l made him feel small and that feeling will not go away as long as he doesn't drive.

That solves it. 

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22 hours ago, Gaeta said:

1) He spoke about what dating has become, that it's not about courting anymore but luring etc etc, relationships have become these ready-to-go meals etc etc.

2) and he said good night pretty Gaeta.  I really did not expect receiving a compliment after 45 minutes of him questioning my character. 

3) I think I need to go into full blown seductive mode?

1) I agree, and that's why I stayed away from OLD.  People start with a picture.  Someone who is normally not attractive, can use filters, and change that.  Or someone who is normally "Hot"... can just have a bad pic, and you pass. Or for someone like me, who is bald... I may get judged on that because we start with the picture. 

2) You have to understand... some guys will rant, and get something off their chest... but it doesn't mean that they are going to hold on to that after it's said.  Not to mention... in his mind... if he was able to rant... and you didn't run a second time... he knew you were ok this time.

3) Wellllllllll...................

21 hours ago, elaine567 said:

I would hold back a bit on the full blown seductive mode...
If he wants to court you in an old fashioned way, then maybe  best to let him. 

I agree.  there's a couple points..... first, if he's looking for "Old Fashioned"... you could scare him off. Also... you are now just infatuated, and want it to work. it's 100% mental for you right now, and it's a goal.  You may sit with him for a while, and realize that you don't want to date him.

Now.... I know I asked before, but I don't remember if you answered.   Why doesn't he drive?  

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3 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

You may sit with him for a while, and realize that you don't want to date him.

Actually... with the new update, he doesn't want to date Gaeta.

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6 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Actually... with the new update, he doesn't want to date Gaeta.

OK... I guess I should have read into the second page of this.

@Gaeta sorry it didn't work out.  

This guy is going to have to toughen up.  There will be a lot of people who judge him on not driving. Sure, if there is a physical reason... I understand.  But if it's past issues like a DUI... then that's a HUGE point to some. (don't want to date a drunk)  If it's money... that's a factor to some. (don't want to date a leach) And, if it's just because he's lazy.... well... I would run despite anything else.  (who want's to date a man child who relies on you for everything)  

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16 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Actually... with the new update, he doesn't want to date Gaeta.

Too early to make that statement

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2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

He sent another message after l logged out to complete the Ego hurt message. 

Yet, my heart.....

needs a good talking to.

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