Author Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 22 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said: Why doesn't he drive? He just said he never did, never needed it, that's how he chose to live. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: He said l hurt his male ego, l made him feel small and that feeling will not go away as long as he doesn't drive. Oh geez, what is he - a child? You can't possibly be the first person to look askance at a 50yo man who not only doesn't drive right now, because he lives in the city, but has never driven and has relied on others (including his wife) to do all the driving. Unless he has some sort of disability that prevents him from driving, this is highly unusual in the US and Canada. If this is all it takes to hurt his "male ego," bullet dodged. 39 minutes ago, Gaeta said: He sent another message after l logged out to complete the Ego hurt message. Yet, my heart..... Oh geez again. This is a game, imo. He's been playing it ever since you reached out the first time. I would not be surprised in the least if he has plans for payback. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 42 minutes ago, Gaeta said: He just said he never did, never needed it, that's how he chose to live. I am pretty sure this is wrong. You said he was married and had a child? In that case, there had to have been occasions where it was needed. As a parent, there are always times when the unexpected happens and a child needs to be dropped off/collected from somewhere. There is no way it could have always been convenient for his wife. Anyway, if this is how he *chose* to live, then why is he so butt hurt that you indicated it would not work for you? I have lots of things that I choose in how I live my life. If someone rejects me for one, I don't get hurt; I am pretty much glad the incompatibility surfaced early. The fact that he can say that his "male ego" is hurt indicates that this goes way deeper than just how he chooses to live. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 I don't get being in the helper's seat all his life did not hit his ego, but me pointing his life style would impact mine does. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 57 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I don't get being in the helper's seat all his life did not hit his ego, but me pointing his life style would impact mine does. you don’t know why he doesn’t drive. what if he has limits on vision thus unable to drive? your children’s generation…a higher number of young adults have delayed even getting a drivers license. If you live in a city like New York City where you don’t need one to live they might not ever get one. he also might have had one once but let it expire due to situations he was in. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 (edited) hah never needed to drive...ya because he's been sponging rides from friends and family, coworkers, etc. To me someone who doesn't have a license is someone who will be dependent on YOU. Hurt ego? How old is he? Old enough to have people say something to him about it for many years. He should be used to it by now. Gaeta, if I were single today at 57, no way in hell I would date someone that doesn't drive. Ever. It would be a big pain in the arse. I like a man that has his crap together before goin there. Set the bar a little higher Gaeta. Edited November 16, 2021 by smackie9 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 13 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: you don’t know why he doesn’t drive. what if he has limits on vision thus unable to drive? your children’s generation…a higher number of young adults have delayed even getting a drivers license. If you live in a city like New York City where you don’t need one to live they might not ever get one. he also might have had one once but let it expire due to situations he was in. I'm trying to keep an open mind. My youngest brother got his license at almost 40, his gf gave him an ultimatum before they start having children. It's possible he has a condition that keeps him from driving. It's possible he's one of those anti-car environmental people, his passion is bio-growing. I think I was more shocked that he waited the day of our meeting to tell me. Once the dust fell down I started thinking it might be such a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 My cousin doesn't drive and he rents an apartment. But he's an ophthalmologist and generally gets around by mass transit or by Uber. Some people just dislike driving especially if it's in a big city. Link to post Share on other sites
Girl Fade Away Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 (edited) I once dated a beautiful man with mild cerebral palsey in legs. He was articulate, sharp as a whip, a millionaire at 25. A financial adviser and very good looking. But was not able to drive due to mild disability in his legs. I did not meet him on line but if I had, he might not have wanted to disclose disability before meeting. @Gaeta, do you think that might what is happening? He is hiding a disability and does not want to disclose before he meets in person and trusts that you would accept it? Since you are THIS attracted, why not invite him out and go meet him? Obviously there is something "there" otherwise none of this would be happening. On both sides of the fence. Edited November 16, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 3 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said: @Gaeta, do you think that might what is happening? He is hiding a disability and does not want to disclose before he meets in person and trusts that you would accept it? Since you are THIS attracted, why not invite him out and go meet him? Obviously there is something "there" otherwise none of this would be happening. On both sides of the fence. I did offer him to talk about this over coffee. He did not answer my invitation but that's when he opened up about his ego being hurt. He's melodramatic, he said he's a dreamer and he can't dream anymore because he doesn't have a *license* to dream. lol (that makes me laugh) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Girl Fade Away Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Gaeta said: He's melodramatic, he said he's a dreamer and he can't dream anymore because he doesn't have a *license* to dream. lol (that makes me laugh) OK then nevermind. A dreamer, yeah right.. He has got head in clouds. I am still wondering what the pull is. Don't be mad but was it because he called you pretty Gaeta? 😉 Edited November 16, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 1 minute ago, Girl Fade Away said: OK then nevermind. A dreamer, yeah right.. He has got head in clouds. I am still wondering what the pull is. Don't be mad but was it because he called you pretty? 😉 Originally when we were in contact daily, text, calls, video calls, this man made me laugh without even trying! Our personality just meshed so well, everything was fun, light, flirty. I felt respected, appreciated for my intellect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 Omg. I can’t with this guy. All that dreamer crap made me laugh. Avoid guys who easily feel emasculated or with fragile egos. They are a nightmare to be with.You have to tip toe around and pretend you’re less capable than you are and worry about how you phrase things so you’re sure to not ever threaten their masculinity. 14 Link to post Share on other sites
Girl Fade Away Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Originally when we were in contact daily, text, calls, video calls, this man made me laugh without even trying! Our personality just meshed so well, everything was fun, light, flirty. I felt respected, appreciated for my intellect. OK but that was then this is now. You have had an opportunity to know him better. How emotionally grandiose he is, fantasy and EGO-driven, a dreamer. And passive, making no effort to meet. Is that not why we continue to talk to people we meet on line before meet? To get to know them better, see more sides of them? Why are ignoring this new side and clinging to original side before any of this happened? Why do you choose this for yourself? This 'dreamer' with fragile ego who makes no effort or gives any indicate he even wants to meet you? You are his punching bag for all his built up resentment. DO not get what is appealing about that. Edited November 16, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 @Girl Fade Away: Yes excellent point. I will concentrate on my other prospect. He's boring but he's got a car 😉 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 11 minutes ago, Gaeta said: @Girl Fade Away: Yes excellent point. I will concentrate on my other prospect. He's boring but he's got a car 😉 Boring is not always bad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Girl Fade Away Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Gaeta said: @Girl Fade Away: Yes excellent point. I will concentrate on my other prospect. He's boring but he's got a car 😉 You can concentrate on others but If me I wouid also take time to figure out what pulls you towards men like him. One of your posts read that after he ranted on you and your character for 45 min, you found him a challenge and wanted him more. If you do not figure out why, you will continue being drawn to insecure dreamers like him. It becomes about you and your choices not the men. Edited November 16, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 9 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said: You can concentrate on others but If me I wouid also take time to figure out what pulls you towards men like him. One of your posts read that after he ranted on you and your character for 45 min, you found him a challenge and wanted him more. If you do not figure out why, you will continue being drawn to insecure dreamers like him. It becomes about you and your choices not the men. When I said that it was before he gave me the 'I'm a dreamer and you hurt my ego'. What made me want him more, at the time, was the fact he was not going to let me in just like that after dumping him. If this man was posting here, everyone would tell him to not give me the time of the day, that if he let me in again, after dumping him in the way I did, he'd be in the weaker position. Him holding on to his power was attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Girl Fade Away Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 (edited) On 11/15/2021 at 6:39 AM, Gaeta said: Saturday night (7 days later) around midnight I checked my dating app (created a new profile Saturday am) and to my surprise he had liked my profile. I went ahead and liked his and it created a match, which sent him a notification. He wrote to me right away. @Gaeta, the above was taken from your first post on this thread. YOU did not come back, HE did after not replying to your message in yout previous thread. . So not sure what you mean when saying "when you came back he did not unroll red carpet." And that is why you wanted him more. HE was the one who came back and ranted on your character for 45 minutes, you replied inviting to meet and talk over coffee and instead of agreeing to meet and talk, he used that as opportunity to continue his ego-driven rant. Edited November 16, 2021 by Girl Fade Away Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 I am the one who initiated the re-contact originally. The fact there is 8 days between that and him talking to me on the dating app, not sure it's him coming back. If I had not text him an apology maybe he would have still talked to me online. Maybe seeing my profile back up made him feel 'little' and butt hurt. Maybe he contacted me just to rant, maybe it was the 'what ifs'. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Girl Fade Away Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 4 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I am the one who initiated the re-contact originally. The fact there is 8 days between that and him talking to me on the dating app, not sure it's him coming back. If I had not text him an apology maybe he would have still talked to me online. Maybe seeing my profile back up made him feel 'little' and butt hurt. Maybe he contacted me just to rant, maybe it was the 'what ifs'. OK. Agree a bunch of "what ifs." I cannot stand what ifs. So what do you want to do now? You are still into him, that is not going away, what is the plan? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 4 hours ago, Gaeta said: He just said he never did, never needed it, that's how he chose to live. I know its a moot point, but didn't this guy say he was going through the licensing process or planning on getting his drivers license?? If he chose to live until 57 without a license, what changed?? Or is his statement one of those "gonna" lies, that people say to avoid the real truth about their actual plans?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 8 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I know its a moot point, but didn't this guy say he was going through the licensing process or planning on getting his drivers license?? If he chose to live until 57 without a license, what changed?? Or is his statement one of those "gonna" lies, that people say to avoid the real truth about their actual plans?? He is semi-retired this year and he said his goal is to buy a house in the country so he can devote himself to his passion and he understands to make that happen he'll need his driver's license. That's the text l had not seen when l dumped him so we never got to elaborate on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 The not driving thing is not a big deal. But his reaction afterwards is. Next! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 34 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said: OK. Agree a bunch of "what ifs." I cannot stand what ifs. So what do you want to do now? You are still into him, that is not going away, what is the plan? I will put up new pictures....that will make him walk over his ego. Men are simple, he needs to be motivated enough. Link to post Share on other sites
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