Wiseman2 Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: seeing him with another woman. Run. He's almost spelling out that's he's looking for some easy side action sex. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: would enjoy someone to date and do activities with I can guess the activities he has in mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 🙄 why is it so hard *all the time*! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: He also said if him and I date he hopes eventually I would be friends with her too. Eewww... This is strange, he wants you to be friends with his ex-girlfriend?? Why would you want to be friends with his ex?? I'm taking back what I said about a second date, kick this guy to the curb. Something isn't right about this ex-girlfriend relationship. I would never want my current girlfriend to be friends (or even know) any of my ex's... YUK!! NEXT!! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 2 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: A lot of people have kids with exes which is why talking about exes is sometimes important. But it's not his kid... it's her (ex-girlfriend's) kid and he is not the father. Seems odd that he would want to stay in their lives. Almost like he wants to linger around in case she can't find someone, then he can slip back into the picture. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 8 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I would never want my current girlfriend to be friends (or even know) any of my ex's... YUK!! Like he enjoys being in a room where he slept with all the women lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Girl Fade Away Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: He replied he's not in a hurry but would enjoy someone to date and do activities with. He even asked her if she was ok with him starting to date Gosh, I was trying to stay away from being judgy but Gaeta, to add to what other posters have written, the above quoted has got 'all wrong' written all over it. If she were just a friend and like a sister why would he need to ask her if it's OK he start to date? That doesn't make sense to me at all. Does it to you? And the emboldened, is he seeking a 'companion' or an exclusive girlfriend? What type of activities? Like playing mini golf, attending a sporting event, going out for a meal? Sexual activity? I realize this is 'out there' but telling you he would like you to eventually meet her, he may be grooming you or any other women he meets on line for a threesome. That has happened to me on line. Same thing, he had this "friend" and he wanted me to meet her. Turns out it was so she could 'approve' of me. But that is pure speculation on my part. Not sure I would trust OR even be attracted to any of this he sounds so shady to me, but if you are then give it a shot. Not my place to tell you not to, good luck. Edited November 21, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: Seems odd that he would want to stay in their lives. Almost like he wants to linger around in case she can't find someone, then he can slip back into the picture. Sounds like that. He told me 4 days ago he came across her 20 yo daughter. He asked her if she had her winter tires on yet, she said no. He then said to bring the car and tires to him, he will continue to do it for her. She said no, it would feel like she's taking advantage of him now that her mom and him broke up. Edited November 21, 2021 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Like he enjoys being in a room where he slept with all the women lol I'm sorry @Gaeta but something is really bad here. Do you think he is trying to groom you for some type of 3-way or something?? ETA: It appears that @Girl Fade Away had the same thought at the same time, I think she must type faster than I do (LOL). Edited November 21, 2021 by Happy Lemming 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Uruktopi Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 46 minutes ago, Gaeta said: 🙄 why is it so hard *all the time*! All the time, but it use to get more complicated later than earlier. Except just sometimes, few ones, when things become better each day: THOSE were (are, will be) de days, my friend! May be all the luck is in being able to recongnice them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 44 minutes ago, Gaeta said: 🙄 why is it so hard *all the time*! It's not. You met for coffee, got an in-person sense of things and that's what coffee meets are for. Luckily in this case he revealed all his red flags way upfront. "I'm friends with my ex" and "we broke up a nanosecond ago" is a universal red flag as is talking about the ex a lot rather than bothering to get to know who's in front if him. It's a tough call, but that why it's important to simply find a mutually convenient time, place, day for a simple coffee meet asap instead of investing in chitchat or haggling over where to go, what day, offers, counteroffers, etc., etc. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 30 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I'm sorry @Gaeta but something is really bad here. Do you think he is trying to groom you for some type of 3-way or He told me a story that he got contacted online by a woman and after a couple of days she told him she was looking for a man for a 3way with her husband. He seemed pretty turned off by it but it means another man in bed, not 2 women. But no, l think he's just freshly heartbroken and should not be on a dating site. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 I should not have met him. He spoke of his ex in a similar matter during our first phone call. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Girl Fade Away Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Gaeta said: He told me a story that he got contacted online by a woman and after a couple of days she told him she was looking for a man for a 3way with her husband. He seemed pretty turned off by it but it means another man in bed, not 2 women. But no, l think he's just freshly heartbroken and should not be on a dating site. I think it is VERY weird he even mentioned the 3-way. Is this standard conversation during a first meet? My take is he mentioned to gage YOUR reaction. How YOU feel about 3-ways. I know of NO man who would discuss or share story about a threesome during a first meet unless he was trying to gage what you think about them. Him saying it turns him.off? Again, gaging your reaction, if they turn YOU off. Edited November 21, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 Again the amount of analysis is over the top if he’s just one of many prospects. Literally nobody has any idea here what’s going on in his life or his thoughts. It’s all just guesses. If you think there’s some potential go out with him again. Don’t put all your attention on him of course, keep setting up dates with other prospects. But it’s possible that because he was friends with her prior to the relationship, he still cares about her in a friendship kind of way even if it isn’t romantic. I’m not saying that’s the case, but at this point anything’s possible… 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 15 minutes ago, Gaeta said: He told me a story that he got contacted online by a woman and after a couple of days she told him she was looking for a man for a 3way with her husband. Just more Eewww... Again these are not subjects to discuss on a first date or before a first date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 @Girl Fade Away: sometimes we will share funny online dating stories. I make sure l never tell a story with a sexual content. I think he's just clueless. It's his first time trying online dating "he says". He wanted to take me out to dinner for a first meeting, that tells me newbie, beleives in unicorns and rainbows. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Gaeta said: looking for a man for a 3way with her husband. Wanted to see your reaction to gage what you would think . You, him and his "best friend"/ "ex"? Edited November 21, 2021 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
bene Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Girl Fade Away said: I think it is VERY weird he even mentioned the 3-way. Is this standard conversation during a first meet? My take is he mentioned to gage YOUR reaction. How YOU feel about 3-ways Haha, exactly. It’s strangely convinient that the topic of threeway just randomly comes up in conversation. @Gaeta Whatever this guy’s deal is, the dynamics between you, him and his ex wouldn’t be healthy. Don’t get in the middle of something shady. A man who needs his ex’s (and wasn’t she supposed to be FWB like five minutes ago?) permission to date is not ready to date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: 🙄 why is it so hard *all the time*! Which one did you date yesterday? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 33 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: Which one did you date yesterday? New man, the one that drives 600km a day for work. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 (edited) I think somebody earlier (possibly in another thread) suggested going out to a nice restaurant and sitting at the bar. And then somebody else said that that’s what prostitutes do or something. When I’m traveling by myself, I tend to find a nicer place to eat for dinner (not a fancy place where you need to dress to the nines or anything) and sit at the bar and have dinner. Like a place that isn’t a chain, but a local place where people are dressed stylishly, or like they got off work at a design agency or something. I usually bring my Kindle in case nobody talks to me. But almost always people talk to me, and sometimes I get asked out. I highly doubt anybody has ever assumed that I’m a prostitute. I’m wondering if doing something like that might be a strategy to try instead of solely relying on OLD. I think when I am less ambivalent about dating, I might try doing that once a week or so. See how it goes. I mean if I don’t meet anybody, at least I’m enjoying myself and having a nice meal. Edited November 21, 2021 by Veronica73 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 @veronica73: I had a tread that debated that for pages. I have a male friend that does that and insists I get into doing this. Now, this friend always talks to women in fancy restaurants downtown and very often leaves with phone numbers. He has not had a girlfriend in years. These women were interested in getting their drinks paid, hook-ups, having a bigger social network, name it. I don't remember him telling me he started dating a woman he met in a restaurant. To me being by myself in a restaurant is not the definition of enjoying myself. I would never EVER sit at a bar by myself. I would die from embarassment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 I don't think he's clueless. Perhaps vapid. I'm sorry it turned out like this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Girl Fade Away Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, Gaeta said: Sometime I think he's just clueless. It is first time trying online dating "he says". He wanted to take me out to dinner for a first meeting, that tells me newbie, beleives in unicorns and rainbows. Gaeta, I am no expert at on-line dating, however from what I have learned, might be best to NOT believe everything a man you meet on line tells you until you have dated and gotten to know him better. In this case, he is in his 50's, sounds like a load of you know what. The dinner thing. No not clueless, he knew exactly what he was doing. Haven't you had men take you to dinner for first meet? I remember reading that, how that man impressed you, what.a gentleman he was. But maybe I have you mixed up with another poster, apologies if I do. And I am sorry it turned out like this too. And to repeat something I posted earlier, on line is very difficult, it basically sucks. 😞 and hope I never have to resort using it again. Edited November 21, 2021 by Girl Fade Away Link to post Share on other sites
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