My next step? update

[jspice]

8 hours ago, Gaeta said:

So I have just experienced being asked out the way it's suppose to be done.

He called me, he said he'd like to invite me to a movie tomorrow evening, and if I'm comfortable with it he'd like to pick me up. 

I had to reach the age of 56 to hear a man say he'd like to pick me up!

Great! No endless texting. No stupid innuendos. Just a straightforward offer of a date. 
Are you going to meet him?

I don’t think there’s anything remotely “creepy” about it. Obviously as women we know how to keep ourselves safe. 
 

He’s gotten off to an excellent start!

[jspice]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Eww. Wants to go to your house and get you in his car!?

Doesn't get much creepier than that. Oh, except a movie for the first meet.

Agree at 56 you are correct not going along with this unsafe creepy plan. 

Meet for coffee at a public place. If someone suggests coming to your house...run.👟👟

Gaeta is 56, not 16. 
I think she knows how NOT to get into an unsafe situation. She’s out there dating regularly. 

[chillii]

Maybe not , l think she knows him , so hopefully he behaves.

[Gaeta]

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Eww. Wants to go to your house and get you in his car!?

We met already last Saturday.  He lives in the town next to me. It's a 7pm movie 10 minutes away.

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

We met already last Saturday.  

Ok, makes sense in that case.

[Kamille]

On 11/22/2021 at 12:32 PM, Gaeta said:

I don't see how it's contradicting. In all the threads on here how much % start with * l met this man/woman online?

Scammers are really high on any free app. For me here at least 1 out of 3 messages is from a scam profile. That does not take away the other thousands of real profiles

I use free apps in a location close enough to Montreal. Not once have I matched with a scammer, so I'm surprised you're getting so many. It makes me wonder about your strategies setting your parameters and choosing your matches. You say yourself that you're not choosy enough. It seems like a lot of your frustration stems from going for quantity rather than quality, so please flip that parameter and realize there is no emergency here. Dating is like alcool, it's best done in moderation ;-). 

 

Happy you got asked out so gallantly by this new new new guy. Enjoy! 

 

[Gaeta]

4 hours ago, Kamille said:

I use free apps in a location close enough to Montreal. Not once have I matched with a scammer, so I'm surprised you're getting so many. It makes me wonder about your strategies setting your parameters and choosing your matches. 

I don't know what you call matches. I get messages.

Try pof. One message out of 3 is from a profile with 1 picture, the picture is always somewhere exotic. The man is often a widow and he goes on and on about how ge's looking for the love of his life. Maybe they aim at women 50+ as we tend to have more money later in life. It was not like that when l was online 6 years ago in my late 40s. Since l am back at age 55, l'm floaded with these scammers.

Edited November 24, 2021 by Gaeta

[Gaeta]

So new guy and l went to a movie tonight.

He's the perfect gentleman, paid for everything, l insisted on paying the snacks and he wouldn't hear it. 

On our walk back to the car he held my hand, that was ok. When he dropped me home l REALLY did not want him to kiss me so l came up with something stupid * look my nosy neighbour is watching us*....l thanked him with a quick kiss on cheek and got out.

Not sure l should accept a 3rd date.

[Happy Lemming]

28 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

When he dropped me home l REALLY did not want him to kiss me

Not sure l should accept a 3rd date.

I think you have answered your own question...

No,  just send him an e-mail telling him it was nice meeting him, but you don't wish to go out with him again.

[Kamille]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

I don't know what you call matches. I get messages.

Try pof. One message out of 3 is from a profile with 1 picture, the picture is always somewhere exotic. The man is often a widow and he goes on and on about how ge's looking for the love of his life. Maybe they aim at women 50+ as we tend to have more money later in life. It was not like that when l was online 6 years ago in my late 40s. Since l am back at age 55, l'm floaded with these scammers.

I haven't used POF in years. Try Hinge or any app that has a matching system. All a match means is that you both have to agree that you're interested in order to start a conversation. You have to comment on profiles that you like and and men who like something on your profile can comment on yours. If you like what they say, you match with them. If you don't, you swipe left and move on to the next profile. 

[Ami1uwant]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

So new guy and l went to a movie tonight.

He's the perfect gentleman, paid for everything, l insisted on paying the snacks and he wouldn't hear it. 

On our walk back to the car he held my hand, that was ok. When he dropped me home l REALLY did not want him to kiss me so l came up with something stupid * look my nosy neighbour is watching us*....l thanked him with a quick kiss on cheek and got out.

Not sure l should accept a 3rd date.

What happened that turned you off?  He didn’t let you pay?

[glows]

2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

So new guy and l went to a movie tonight.

He's the perfect gentleman, paid for everything, l insisted on paying the snacks and he wouldn't hear it. 

On our walk back to the car he held my hand, that was ok. When he dropped me home l REALLY did not want him to kiss me so l came up with something stupid * look my nosy neighbour is watching us*....l thanked him with a quick kiss on cheek and got out.

Not sure l should accept a 3rd date.

It's ok. It sounds like not nearly enough chemistry. Did he suggest a third date?

[Uruktopi]

 

Given....

 

7 hours ago, Gaeta said:

He's the perfect gentleman,

 

And........

 

7 hours ago, Gaeta said:

On our walk back to the car he held my hand, that was ok.

 

Hence...........

 

7 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Not sure l should accept a 3rd date.

 

There is a traditional expression in Math, QED, "Quod erat demonstrandum".

Edited November 24, 2021 by Uruktopi

[Wiseman2]

Ok. You weren't attracted? 

[Uruktopi]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok. You weren't attracted? 

And she even told us why

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, Uruktopi said:

Given....

And........

Hence...........

There is a traditional expression in Math, QED, "Quod erat demonstrandum".

No no no....I do want to date a gentleman lol

I did not demonstrate I don't like gentleman ways. 

[Gaeta]

8 hours ago, Ami1uwant said:

What happened that turned you off?  He didn’t let you pay?

Of course not. 

Nothing happen, I was never sure I was attracted but knowing myself, I can grow attraction in a few dates if the right qualities are there, I accepted that 2nd date. 

[Gaeta]

7 hours ago, glows said:

It's ok. It sounds like not nearly enough chemistry. Did he suggest a third date?

Yes and no. When he talks he says *next time we could....* type of thing.

[Gaeta]

8 hours ago, Kamille said:

I haven't used POF in years. Try Hinge or any app that has a matching system. 

I will try that when I get back from my trip. I have a male friend that uses Bumble, I think women pick who they talk to on that app. I tried Elite Singles and I didn't like it.  Most men I met since this summer were on Badoo or FB dating.

[Uruktopi]

21 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

No no no....I do want to date a gentleman lol

I did not demonstrate I don't like gentleman ways. 

It was (either) a friendly joke

or (else)

(hopely) food for thought.

My best best best wishes!

 

[Kamille]

48 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I will try that when I get back from my trip. I have a male friend that uses Bumble, I think women pick who they talk to on that app. I tried Elite Singles and I didn't like it.  Most men I met since this summer were on Badoo or FB dating.

Yes, on Bumble women are in charge of starting the conversations. I prefer Hinge precisely because, once matched, both men and women can start the conversation. 

It's still online dating, but I find it makes it a more positive experience than on more traditional dating sites.

[Weezy1973]

11 hours ago, Gaeta said:

I don't know what you call matches. I get messages.

Do you do your own searches / browse profiles? Or do you only select from the men that have messaged you?

[Gaeta]

40 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

Do you do your own searches / browse profiles? Or do you only select from the men that have messaged you?

I browse around, if I like a profile I give it a like. This way the man will notice my profile and if he likes it he will write to me. I do not initiate a message to men. I pick among men that message me. 

[Alvi]

3 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Of course not. 

Nothing happen, I was never sure I was attracted but knowing myself, I can grow attraction in a few dates if the right qualities are there, I accepted that 2nd date. 

Why not accept a third date with him and see what happens? Unless you find him totally repulsive. After all, you are only dating him, you are not in a relationship with him.

2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Badoo or FB dating.

Badoo is horrendous. You would not believe how many times I was asked to be a third for a couple. Or how many guys messaged me, going on and on and on about how they only want a short term thing, lol. Quite a few list their relationship status as "it's complicated" or "open." Not sure what that is all about, but I am pretty sure they are not single. One guy asked me to come to his place and when I said no to that he asked me for money. Guessing he was going to rob me if I actually came to his place? Men are quite surprised when I respond to that I am only looking for a long term. I can go on and on about that site but based on my experiences with that site, I don't believe anybody that actually wants a honest long term relationship is using that site.

[Gaeta]

13 minutes ago, Alvi said:

Badoo is horrendous.

Are you in the US? I heard it's bad elsewhere but here, in my Province,  it's pretty acceptable. I did not come across indecent proposals like you're describing.