My next step? update

[Alvi]

Just now, Gaeta said:

Are you in the US? I heard it's bad elsewhere but here, in my Province,  it's pretty acceptable. I did not come across indecent proposals like you're describing. 

Nope, I am in Canada. Maybe men in my province are weird or not that interested in anything serious, lol. 

[Gaeta]

Aaaaawwwww he just invited me for dinner at his place when l return from my trip...l don't know what to dooooo!! Aarrgghh!!

[Girl Fade Away]

15 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Aaaaawwwww he just invited me for dinner at his place when l return from my trip...l don't know what to dooooo!! Aarrgghh!!

Do you think he follows the "3-date rule" if you know what I mean?  Dinner at his?  Hmmm....

[Gaeta]

He might not be so beta after all.

I asked him if he talks often to his ex and he said yes but they're just friends and he added it ended 3 months ago....l reminded him Saturday he told me it's been 7 weeks, he said yes but they had not touched in 3 months so it's like it ended 3 months ago......l said no, sorry  it's not how we calculate the end of a relationship.

Edited November 25, 2021 by Gaeta

[Alvi]

47 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Aaaaawwwww he just invited me for dinner at his place when l return from my trip...l don't know what to dooooo!! Aarrgghh!!

Counteroffer with a dinner at a restaurant and see what he says.

[Uruktopi]

14 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

... he said yed but they had not touched in 3 months so it's like it ended 3 months ago......l said no, sorry  it's not how we calculate the end of a relationship.

I appologize for taking this with some bitter humor.

I´ve just used his above said criteria with my first LTR and resulted that we got divorced earlier than gettting married.  

Edited November 25, 2021 by Uruktopi

[CollinW]

15 hours ago, Gaeta said:

I browse around, if I like a profile I give it a like. This way the man will notice my profile and if he likes it he will write to me. I do not initiate a message to men. I pick among men that message me. 

How is that working out for you? 

[Gaeta]

5 hours ago, CollinW said:

How is that working out for you? 

I never run out of dates.

[CollinW]

On 11/25/2021 at 5:58 AM, Gaeta said:

I never run out of dates.

Is your goal in life to have a supply of endless dates? 

[seapebbles]

On 11/24/2021 at 7:57 PM, Gaeta said:

He might not be so beta after all.

I asked him if he talks often to his ex and he said yes but they're just friends and he added it ended 3 months ago....l reminded him Saturday he told me it's been 7 weeks, he said yes but they had not touched in 3 months so it's like it ended 3 months ago......l said no, sorry  it's not how we calculate the end of a relationship.

I'd be totally suspicious of this one. I went out on a few dates with a man who told me he had been in an in-house separation from his wife for 4 years later to find out he had a two-year-old son 🤔

[chillii]

lf he was legit then that's one of the big reasons they were still living together , their son. Separating is horrific on young kids , any kids,and the father to as he's the one that usually doesn't get to live with his own child anymore. A lot of break ups do try to do this , we even thought about it.

Just sayin , but not that l'd deny there are also probably a million guys out there just spinning this stuff to play on the side.

[Happy Lemming]

@Gaeta Any updates??

[Gaeta]

11 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

@Gaeta Any updates??

Hello, I am back this morning. I was away 5 days. I did not hear from him at all and it's ok, I didn't think of him at all while I was gone. I don't know if I should send him a text that I do not wish to continue or just not contact him at all.

[Happy Lemming]

15 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

 I don't know if I should send him a text that I do not wish to continue or just not contact him at all.

Since he did "try" to plan the next date (dinner at his house), I think you should send a text or e-mail that you don't wish to continue to see him.

You don't owe him any explanation, but don't let him think he is still in the running.

[Gaeta]

On 11/28/2021 at 5:45 PM, CollinW said:

Is your goal in life to have a supply of endless dates? 

If you have a suggestion I am listening. 

[Girl Fade Away]

Hi Gaeta, hope you enjoyed your trip!  Re this guy, if me, I would do nothing.  You're no longer interested and I gather he isn't either since he has not reached out in 5 days.  

In my experience an interested man would have stayed in touch, a text saying hi, something, while you were gone. 

If he reaches out about the dinner, politely decline.  

[Girl Fade Away]

11 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

If you have a suggestion I am listening. 

My opinion is continue doing what you are doing!  When I first read @CollinW post, my first thought was quality over quantity.   Screen better and longer and only meet men you feel feel a connection with, as much as you can feel a connection on line.  Strive for Quality. 

But then I thought it's a numbers game, right?  Quantity. The more men you meet, the greater the chances of clicking with one. 

So soldier on!  Enjoy.  

Edited November 30, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[Happy Lemming]

4 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

...I gather he isn't either since he has not reached out in 5 days.  

 

He knew she was on vacation for 5 days.  If someone is on vacation, I would tend not to bother them with a "Hi" text and let them enjoy their trip/adventure/vacation. 

Its very early in the dating stages and you don't want to send the message that you are needy & require constant attention.

Years ago, I had just started dating this woman, but had a trip planned with some of my buddies.  I told her about my trip and she left me alone and let me enjoy my time out of town.  I brought her back a T-shirt from the event, which she thought was both cute and thoughtful.

I don't think it would require all that much effort to fire off an e-mail that you are back in town, but no longer wish to date this gentleman.  Seems like the decent thing to do.

[glows]

It seems he made a suggestion about dinner prior so I would have replied that while it was a pleasure meeting, I don't see this progressing and to wish him the best. I would not have left it until after the trip, ie now. 

I don't like the idea of someone thinking there's a dinner potentially pending or having the wrong idea somewhere out there so I would follow up, personally, and tell him that I don't see this progressing. 

It's up to you but I wouldn't prolong this or drag it out if it's not for you.

 

[Gaeta]

Before I left there was a little part of me thinking maybe on my return I'll feel more motivated to accept his invitation but our last exchange before my trip disappointed me, he's not empathetic at all and I don't want to date someone like that. 

[Girl Fade Away]

8 minutes ago, glows said:

It seems he made a suggestion about dinner prior so I would have replied that while it was a pleasure meeting, I don't see this progressing and to wish him the best. I would not have left it until after the trip, ie now. 

I don't like the idea of someone thinking there's a dinner potentially pending or having the wrong idea somewhere out there so I would follow up, personally, and tell him that I don't see this progressing. 

It's up to you but I wouldn't prolong this or drag it out if it's not for you.

 

Fair points but it has been nearly a week, he may have met someone else and may even be dating someone else.  So a bit presumptuous to assume he is still interested especially given he has not made any effort to stay in touch. 

Gaeta, how did you leave it before you left?  Did you tell him you would let him know when you got back? 

[Uruktopi]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

I didn't think of him at all while I was gone

This is IMO enough basis for deciding about. 

[Gaeta]

5 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

Gaeta, how did you leave it before you left?  Did you tell him you would let him know when you got back? 

You know how sometimes you exchange text with someone and there is more than 1 subject of discussion...I simply did not reply to his invitation and went to answering other subjects we were discussing. 

[Girl Fade Away]

20 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You know how sometimes you exchange text with someone and there is more than 1 subject of discussion...I simply did not reply to his invitation and went to answering other subjects we were discussing. 

Yeh I think it wouid be awkward telling him now after nearly a week of no contact by either of you, but course do what you think best. 

If it weighs on your mind and conscience, then a short text couldn't hurt and he may appreciate it if he has been wondering..

I have never been the best at making those types of decisions.

Keep us updated and glad you are back! 

 

[Alvi]

47 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You know how sometimes you exchange text with someone and there is more than 1 subject of discussion...I simply did not reply to his invitation and went to answering other subjects we were discussing. 

I am guessing that he took  your no reply to his "invitation to his house" as a rejection on your part. Some people deal with a rejection by not dwelling on things and moving on.  Or maybe he thinks that the ball is in your court and that you are the one who should contact him first. Millions of games and guessings when it comes to on-line dating. I suppose, it comes down how interested you in pursuing him. If you are interested in rekindling than maybe send him a quick note that you are back and see what he says (and if he says anything). But I am sensing that you are not that much into him. And he does have quite a few red flags. So it's up to you.

Edited November 30, 2021 by Alvi