Feelings some mixed emotions after breakup

[rbrt140]

This year I dated someone whom I was friends with for years, about 7 years actually. Ever since I've known her, we have always been flirty and always gotten along but deep down I always felt a real relationship wouldn't work because we have such different lifestyles, personalities, tastes etc.. 

We started to hang out more and get closer and eventually decided to give dating a shot. Everything felt fine even though it was a bit of an adjustment going form friends to bf/gf but it was very fun and exciting at first. Still, deep down I knew it would not be forever, I did like her a ton, found her extremely beautiful but there were reasons why I did not see myself with her in the long run. 

After a few months I decided to end things and that we were better off as friends, she agreed and we ended things amicably. I still felt like she would still  be part of my life, but recently she got with someone that we kind of know in common (a good friend's brother whom she has past history with) and moved a few hours away. 

I guess I got a bit jealous of seeing her with him, specially someone who she had a bad past with.

I was sure to end the relationship, and I know that I do not necessarily want her back, but I still miss her? I love her and want her to be happy but kind of hate that its with that guy

Am I being selfish? Its a weird mix of feelings lately that I have been trying to figure out. Any advice helps. Thanks!

[elaine567]

2 minutes ago, rbrt140 said:

but there were reasons why I did not see myself with her in the long run. 

What were they?

[rbrt140]

12 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

What were they?

My life and work kind of revolve around networking, meeting people, going out etc. I also enjoy the beach, sports, have drinks with friends and smoke pot form time to time. She does none of that, not that she is anti social, but she is much more reserved when it comes to her lifestyle and what she does for fun.

She works a ton and so do I but literally wants to work all the time (she is in film) and will also be traveling often for that.

Sex for me felt a bit off. Not that it was bad but it lacked some of the fun and passion that I enjoy. I've had more chemisty in bed with other partners. 

Her family is awful, she grew up pretty wealthy , and they are bad not only to her, but also very gossipy and judgemental about whom she dates and what she does.

Tastes in music, entertainment, food are mostly different. 

Also she seemed still hung up and emotional about that guy she is with now which gave me a red flag.

So those were mostly the reasons

[elaine567]

Ok I get it, you did the right thing.
Quite a bit of incompatibility there, but the final one, kind of seals the deal.
Not much you can do about that.
No-one wants to be second best or plan B.

[rbrt140]

52 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Ok I get it, you did the right thing.
Quite a bit of incompatibility there, but the final one, kind of seals the deal.
Not much you can do about that.
No-one wants to be second best or plan B.

Yes exactly. I feel like I did the right thing as well. Honestly I don't have any bad feelings towards her, she is a great person. But I guess just trying to figure out why I'm feeling like this. I guess cause I lost a great person

[elaine567]

1 minute ago, rbrt140 said:

Yes exactly. I feel like I did the right thing as well. Honestly I don't have any bad feelings towards her, she is a great person. But I guess just trying to figure out why I'm feeling like this. I guess cause I lost a great person

You not only lost your gf, you lost a good friend as well.
A double whammy.

[glows]

19 minutes ago, rbrt140 said:

Yes exactly. I feel like I did the right thing as well. Honestly I don't have any bad feelings towards her, she is a great person. But I guess just trying to figure out why I'm feeling like this. I guess cause I lost a great person

No one is lost. She's still a friend or acquaintance but both of you deserve to move on and find your different paths, fully, without being distracted by neither here nor there relationships or friendships. Feeling sad or bummed is ok. Give it a week or so to fade.

Take some time to yourself and limit your interactions with her since you still have feelings for her. 

I agree with the earlier comment about not considering someone who isn't over their ex. You don't have to be anyone's rebound. It sounds like she thought of you as just that and was happy to go with the flow. This wouldn't have worked out in the long term.