How to ask an older woman out?

[lonelyLoner]

Hey there, newbie here. So let me explain. I enjoy swimming and decided to go to local pool. Ive noticed that theres this particular lady that seems to look at me a couple of times during my classes. We are in separate classes but we are next to each other. Ive caught her looking at me and she smiles and keep minding his stuff. One time i was checking in and i arrived early (thing that i dont normally do) and then as i was going to the locker room i crossed her and shes like "hey hello, how are you?" (she was going to the pool) which i was surprised cause no other girl from the pool did the same. we had a small talk and then continued our ways. The thing is i kind of like her, and if this thing keeps going on i might do something. We cant meet each other after because she leaves earlier than me. and yes, im new in this flirting stuff and i cant recognize wether is just her being polite or what. also take in count the context of the situation, sounds weird without considering it lol.

so yea thats it, what do you guys think that this is about. if you can help me that would be pretty cool. ight so thats it i guess, peace

[JRabbit]

A woman being polite doesn't mean she is interested.  I would spend a bit more time getting to know her there, to see if you can gauge if there is actual interest.

[basil67]

Older women tend to be far less inhibited than younger women when it comes to being friendly to strangers.  As an older woman, I strike up conversations with people I see on a semi regular basis just to be friendly.

[elaine567]

As this is your first jaunt into the world of flirting, how old is this "older" woman?  Is she 21 or nearer 61?

[lonelyLoner]

oh i forgot, shes like 36-40 yo

[stillafool]

How old are you?

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, lonelyLoner said:

oh i forgot, shes like 36-40 yo

Ok. Is this like a gym environment where people take classes? 

It seems like she's being polite. It's ok to have a crush, but hitting on people in swimsuits or workout clothes is awkward.

 

[ZA Dater]

13 hours ago, JRabbit said:

A woman being polite doesn't mean she is interested.  I would spend a bit more time getting to know her there, to see if you can gauge if there is actual interest.

Agree with this, its far too easy to mistake someone who is friendly as someone who is interested. How on earth you differentiate the two I have no idea.

[Weezy1973]

@lonelyLoner Best thing to do is just ask her out, and then ask for her number. Ask her if she'd like to grab a drink with you sometime, ask for her phone number, and then call her that evening or the next day with place / time. Don't over think it. Worst thing that happens is she says no. But she'll probably be flattered. If she says no, don't get upset, or anything. Just be polite and next time you see her make sure you say hi and don't act awkward.

[glows]

I think she was being friendly in a community-minded way, 100% platonic. Sorry to disappoint you. Nevertheless, if you asked her out I'm sure it's more likely to be a compliment than not! I was approached by a young man last summer thinking I was his age. I don't know who was more bewildered, me post separation at the time, or him finding out my real age. 

Anyway, as others mentioned, try not to overthink it but if it becomes stress-inducing, try to find another pool. 

[Foxhall]

On 11/15/2021 at 9:25 PM, lonelyLoner said:

oh i forgot, shes like 36-40 yo

they tend to be quite hungry for sex in this bracket,

just saying.

[czanclus]

Unless there's a ring on her finger, it's open season, and I say you go for it. She will, in the worst case scenario, be flattered and let you know as much. Words of a 44 year old who's been in situations where 20-something kids paid her a compliment or two in passing, and it totally made her middle-aged-errands packed day. Obviously, be respectful and not creepy, but do impose yourself. Good luck!

Edited November 17, 2021 by czanclus