ME , EX and my current GF (very long post)

[Davey007]

Hello , ( sorry for bad or weird english)

So i was going out with my current EX for like two years. It was more friends with benefits type relationship. We really understand each other , have same hobbies , like same things. In the meantime we start sleep together , we have similar kinks so we click in this. But nothing really romantic (but watching romantic movies) we was still just friends. I guess first problem was age difference (10 years) , second we live like hour and half by train in different cities. I was long time ok with this, we sometimes go on one day trip with  her female friend (she lives near me and when she was visiting me , she also go visit her). But i just start falling in love with her ( my current EX not her friend) , i just start make suggestions i want more and she didnt like it and straightly told me she dont want serious relationship. I try to save it by tone it my love emotions down but it was quick path to end. She end our "relationship" saying she is afraid i will do something stupid we will both regret. 

I was devastated and for like month i was angry , sad , hateful but i didnt do anything stupid like stalk her or something. I just try cope with fact i will not see her anymore. Then her female friend write me she is sorry we break up and if i need talk to somebody she is avalaible. I really dont care about her until then , for me it was just friend of my EX and not like her much. But i take on the offer and we meet up. I was still in depresion from the breakup and my friends dont really help me so because she was al ost stranger to me i just cry my heart off to her. What i was not expecting was that she start cry her heart off too. Dont know why and how but in our misery we find way to each other. ( as i find out she has bad luck for good bf so far and little older then my EX)

So we start see each other more and more. I start to be happy with her and i guess she was happy with me. Unlike my EX she was really nice to me , make me feel loved , she bake some good food , i invite her to nice dinners and trips. Somebody will say ideal relationship. But she is still friends with my EX. She told my EX we couple now and it looks she take it fine and cheer for us. I still avoid my EX like plague just dont want to be it weird and awkward. But i then met her. I think at time i will do some stupid thing but it was ok and i was able talk to her without any secondary emotions. 

Thing is when i was in relationship with my EX i guess she talk about me a lot to her friend (now my gf). So my gf has really good headstart in way she know much more about me then i about her. And i think my gf now try to compare with her and be better. But she is different (not worse or better just different type of person , more romantic and cuddly type and i am fine with that) and it start go weird. I tell her to be herself and we will find out our special thing. And even she agree she slip eventually in that trying outdone my EX again. We tell each other things we like and want try out or what we dont like. But she is still try beat her in every aspect. I am afraid it will eat her up sooner or later. I make sure she feel loved and make her smile. 

Really scared it will damage our relationship and want to resolve it. I dont want to her break ties with my EX , she is good friend to her. Also we dont have really any fight. She do sometimes things i dont like , but i just tell her i dont like it , if there is chance to avoid it in the future i will be glad. She also told me things she dont find great (like me very stupid sense for humor) i just tone it down. Maybe it is weird but i guess we try hard to be happy together (maybe too hard). Sometimes it feel weird , like we do anything just to dont break up because that will hurt so much again and be alone is so scary we really compromise on each other so much. 

Guess thats all. Thank you for reading this long story. Any suggestions what change or just go with it as usual  ?  If you need more info i will try answer it.