Is my sister jealous of me?

[luiscasabuena]

My sister and I laugh at the same things all the time. I'm very easy around her. I can be myself when she's around. Somehow, I feel blessed to have a sister who not only shares the same sense of humor with me but is also one of the funniest persons I've ever known.

But a few years back, my mum told me that even siblings can get jealous of their siblings as that was happening with their family. I realized that oh my God, could my sister be jealous of me? Sure, we laugh at so many things but I'm usually the butt of all her jokes. I didn't know that in the process of laughing at myself, I was actually developing so many insecurities about myself.

When my mum told this to me, I gained so much self-confidence. After that, I was and still am able to do a lot of things. I learned to write poems, songs, even long stories worth publishing, ventured into a magazine business. It literally opened so many doors for me.

While my sister is often the life of the party for her sense of humor and ability to make everyone feel comfortable, she has a funny face, and was average in class. On the other hand, I was gifted in so many things. I have a handsome face (I won mr photogenic and mr winsome smile awards at a pageant), I won General Information Quiz Bowls, Math and Science Quiz Bees, Math Olympiad, etc. I excelled in class as well as I graduated with latin honors in college (where I was number 7 in the entrance exam) and made it to the best law school in the country. In the process, I was able to gain scholarships as well, and made it to dean's list. My achievements go on and on.

But I'm not perfect. I have scoliosis, and my teeth are bad (though I've had it fixed and now I have a nice, confident smile).

Things are really going well with my life in practically all areas. But, lately, my sister has been so hard on me. She easily castigates me for the littlest of things, and would discourage me from pursuing my dreams. Just this night, we had a family dinner outside. When we were taking photos, she was telling me to look down (the photo was side view). I wouldn't want to do it as it would obviously show my bad back. When I didn't submit, she was literally pushing my head downwards (although it was still done in a gentle manner but still).

She's always the first person who would tell me that I couldn't do it. And she's good in doing this. I feel like, she's the reason for my insecurities, and she simply gets away with it because of her sense of humor.

I stopped listening to her. But the problem is, she'd still do more. No matter what I do, she's just there to make me feel bad.

I still love my sister though. She always makes me happy. When I was down during the bar review, she visited me. She makes me feel better when I'm down. But she's not perfect. Could she ever be? Should I try to change her? I still like her, but I can sense the jealousy. How do I go about this? It's very important for me to resolve this issue as she's my sister.

[glows]

Try not to change anyone. What you can do is be more of yourself and don't keep supplicating to her. If she tells you to turn your head a certain way, don't do it or ignore her. Are you still living at home with your family and siblings? Go out with your friends and find your confidence outside of the family unit. 

It's unlikely she's jealous of you either. Try not to let that get to your head. Stay humble no matter what accomplishments you have under your belt. They're for you to know and make use of. What anyone else says or thinks doesn't matter. Keep doing well for yourself and stay on track.

 

[Wiseman2]

No. It's unfortunate that your mother is being divisive and trying to encourage sibling rivalry.

Rise above it and value your accomplishments in themselves rather than in relation to others.

[Lotsgoingon]

Yes, she could be jealous or your sister could just be mean and like to pick on people. Or she might just have gotten into a terrible habit of picking on you.

At some point, you can learn to deflect. Thank you sister, but I'm staying right where I am. Thank you sister. 

It'll take time but you can learn how to defend yourself or stand up for yourself or completely ignore her--like really ignore. 

[LatinCoffee]

Be yourself. Celebrate & appreciate your sis for whom she is. No need to feel like you're in competition with anyone much less your sibling. We all shine bright in our own way 😉

Edited November 24, 2021 by LatinCoffee