Worried7 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Well I was doing a little dirty work on the internet on myspace.com and looked up to find my boyfriends ex girlfriends just for fun to see what they're like..and found them! ( C'mon girls you know you'd be curious too ).. and I found something I'm not happy with.. There is this one girl who's name I won't give out that he told me he was " just friends " with no strings attatched But she wanted him so bad and he rejected her.. ( he was with me the whole time anyway) and ( those of you who don't know we live 2000 miles apart) and so they went to concerts and worked out 2gether and I didn't think much of it. But I read this girls blog from when that time period was ( like 1 year and a half ago) and it was talking about this unidentified guy that she said ' nothing was going on ' with and said she said ' look I can't go on with this any longer..I know nothing is going on anymore but what happened in september..I just can't leave it alone it won't leave my mind! I miss you ! and It was so wrongg! I feel so bad. So this is my final goodbye I'm gonna miss you and I love you Love, [Her name] Does this mean something went on and he won't tell me b/c he doesn't want me to get angry about it or hurt? B/c now were planning on getting married and I put the past behind me for the most part but now it's been opened back up..and now it could change my future. You see, everytime I talk about this girl he gets all sad or angry or antsy. Like they went to this concert and I had forgotten who he went with..if it was her or a group of friends..and he got mad and goes " you KNOW I was with [her name]" and i was like why are you all mad I was just asking? He just acts wierd..and I don't want to bring up the past but it is just BUGGING the crap out of me wondering if sumthing went on..and then she said on her next blog the lyrics to Mariah Carey's " we belong together" and said "some ppl know who this is dedicated to" and it's painful to look at those lyrics..b/c I wonder if it was with HIM. What in the WORLD went on? Can someone help me? Please help me ASAP. It's bugging me so bad! Love, Worried7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Worried7 Posted October 20, 2005 Author Share Posted October 20, 2005 forgot to add this..Should I come up with a fake identity and ask her about who this guy was b/c I don't want it to happen to me..but then again she might get mad and then start calling him again and all of that..Wth should I do?? Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 so he went to the concert while the two of you were still dating? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Worried7 Posted October 20, 2005 Author Share Posted October 20, 2005 Yea..he said just as friends though..at the time I didn't think a thing of it. Now I'm kinda left wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Worried7 Posted October 21, 2005 Author Share Posted October 21, 2005 I'm still worried and no one is giving me answers! Lol PLease someone tell me what to do..anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 what makes you think she is going to be befriend you and answer your questions? she'll see right through you, and will probably be freaked out by your stalker-ish tendencies. if anything, talk to your boyfriend. he's the one you need to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Maybe she's not talking about him at all on her blogs/myspace? Maybe you'll never know for sure. But seriously, you need to talk this out with HIM. If you're thinking marriage, then you should be his number one priority, and he should care about how you feel. This obviously makes you feel bad. Does he care? Noooo. a**h*** Ehhummm no seriously, you two need to talk. Me and my husband went through the exact same thing before our wedding, and ehh, aftertoo. Gahhh, I still hate that bitch. But anyway, we talked it out, he finally understood how deeply it hurt me, and he made an effort, and now things are good. Well, that's mainly since I told her to freakin back off; but still, talking it out with him was very important. Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 forgot to add this..Should I come up with a fake identity and ask her about who this guy was b/c I don't want it to happen to me..but then again she might get mad and then start calling him again and all of that..Wth should I do?? Ehh, no. That's kinda sick. She'll probably find out it's you, and it could back fire, and you'll end up being the one looking like a crazy a$$ bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Worried7 Posted October 21, 2005 Author Share Posted October 21, 2005 Thanks for the comfort. Although I'd like to be certian it wasn't him I'm very sure it was b/c she had a huge crush on him and he supposedly said He didn't like her. This girl is wild she has alot of guys that she just says are " friends" and randomly hooks up with these guys or makes out with them..and during that time (September 2004) I think he was the only guy she liked. she had A HUGE crush on him..and that was around the same time that he took her to that concert..so this is all leaving me extremely pissed off, sad, & curious at the same time. We'll be together as of two years in November ( Nov. 1) ..It's just so heartbreaking. If anything did happen it might just of been a hook-up but she had deep feelings for him so I'm not sure if he liked her or not..but either way I know it's gonna kill me to find out the answer..but its killing me NOT knowing the answer. I just want the truth..and he always says " Baby, we were just FRIENDS. I've told you." But guys in general can never be fully trusted. Ever. Even when married. And especially when they're in college and live 2000 miles away. Maybe I shouldn't have put my 1000000% trust in him..or maybe I SHOULD be trusting him right now and keep thinking that nothing happened and move on..I've always been able to trust him up until I found that blog. I especially know NOW that he wouldn't ever do that. THings are perfect NOW. but even though it happened THEN..might be just as bad as if it happened NOW. I just wonder if he is telling me the truth when he says they were just friends. ( Or maybe they were just "friends"- with benefits? and he didn't mention that part so he doesn't hurt me--cuz he knows that was devastate me) I don't know..but it's gonna be strange b/c I've planned my entire life out with this guy..and if we're not together I'll have to replan everything and erase the..amazing times we have had together..Lol okay but now after that confusing mess being said..How in the WORLD do I approach him and say " uh I was bored and looking up your ex g/fs on the internet.." lol he wont' take that well.. The actual reason I did it is b/c I'm on a break out from school ( fall break ) and had too much time on my hands..I was looking up my friends profile that she told me to look at and said " hmm hey I wonder if...." and one thing lead to another and I was curious and stumbled upon all of that. I don't know but with all of this being said, can someone give me good advice to all of this & what I should do - Please. Also, how to cope if I find out something DID happen..I'd really really appreciate it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maybe she's not talking about him at all on her blogs/myspace? Maybe you'll never know for sure. But seriously, you need to talk this out with HIM. If you're thinking marriage, then you should be his number one priority, and he should care about how you feel. This obviously makes you feel bad. Does he care? Noooo. a**h*** Ehhummm no seriously, you two need to talk. Me and my husband went through the exact same thing before our wedding, and ehh, aftertoo. Gahhh, I still hate that bitch. But anyway, we talked it out, he finally understood how deeply it hurt me, and he made an effort, and now things are good. Well, that's mainly since I told her to freakin back off; but still, talking it out with him was very important. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Worried7 Posted October 21, 2005 Author Share Posted October 21, 2005 BuMp ( Bringing up my post) Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Hmm, well I'm no expert, so most of my advice and opinions are based on my own experience. My husband kept in touch with his ex while we got together, and I only found out one year later. BUT, nothing physical ever happened between them since they broke up. And I know that for sure. So, I guess it was kinda easier. Now, communication is VERY important. You need to bring it up calmly, without attacking or accusing or even sounding depressed. He'll get all deffensive and no good will come from it. Just, I don't know, some evening while you're watching something boring on TV, or doing the most random boring stuff together, just bring it up. Ask him if you can ask him something. It will trigger his curiosity, he'll say yes. And then go smoothly from there. Be very cautious, because if something DID happen, he'll see it coming and he probably won't have the nicest reaction. If nothing happened, however, then he won't feel threatened, and talk openly about it. Well, of course, that depends on your guy's personality, but well, to a certain degree, that's what you can expect. Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong about you looking her up online. You were curious, and just explain it like you did here. Nothing wrong with that. If he slept with her that one time, then I don't know what to say. That would suck big time. I know some couples survive it, and some don't. It depends. My husband's ex always felt like competition to me; so it boosted everything in me; I paid a lot of attention to him, made sure I was the best he had ever had. But I always thought, if he ever cheats, he better grab his stuff and leave. Because men who sleep around are garbage and I know I deserve better. I know some women forgive for the sake of love. And it's possible. But it's up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Worried7 Posted October 21, 2005 Author Share Posted October 21, 2005 Thanks GlitterGirl. I'll take ur advice and talk to him about it on the phone tonight. ( i'd do it in person but i live 2000 miles away from him--he's away at college ) Love, Worried7 Wish Me luck! Omgsh I need it!I'm nervous.. Link to post Share on other sites
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