Dutchman1 Posted November 23, 2021 Share Posted November 23, 2021 Her daughter sent a message on FB. According to her daughter, my ex had asked her to send me a message that she would like to see me. What on earth am I supposed to do with this. I am totally confused and of course my IC is out of reach. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted November 23, 2021 Share Posted November 23, 2021 I would arrange to see her. After she's gone you might regret not honoring her wish. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dutchman1 Posted November 24, 2021 Author Share Posted November 24, 2021 I met her at school in 1975. I was 17 she was 16. The night I got home from school I said to my father that's the girl I'm going to marry, she's going to be the mother of my children and your grandchildren. I will be 63 next week. So much pain, love and unbelievable memories. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted November 24, 2021 Share Posted November 24, 2021 I'm so sorry. It's hard to lose someone that meant so much, even if you haven't seen them in a while. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 24, 2021 Share Posted November 24, 2021 Can you see her or are you out of town/country? If meeting with her isn't possible in person, you can also let her daughter know you are willing to speak with her. You both may arrange for a video call instead. Keeping her and her family in my thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 She wants to say goodbye. This is really hard, but I agree that you should honor her wish. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
robaday Posted December 2, 2021 Share Posted December 2, 2021 You are damned if you do damned if you don't. But having lost a lot of people close to me, the ones that took me the longest to grieve were the ones I wasn't able to say goodbye to. The ones I had seen shortly before their death I was able to process it better but the sudden ones still sometimes keep me awake at night. I'd go. It's just me but grief is a highly complex thing as is regret......... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiritedaway2003 Posted December 2, 2021 Share Posted December 2, 2021 Did the relationship ended on very bad terms and you and your ex had not been in contact since you last broken up? If you don’t think it’s going to trudge up many painful things, then go. It’s like saying goodbye to an old friend who …happens to be an ex. If the way your relationship ended led to a lot of pain and resentment and you have not been in contact since and seeing her would cause all those things to resurface, you can choose not to go. (Where there was once love, there were also some happy memories. Maybe focus on those instead. Even though it will be sad, it might also be potentially cathartic?) Just make sure that you are grounded in your decision because you may also regret it if you choose not to goodbye. As another poster mentioned above, regret is also highly complex and you don’t get a second chance. At the end of the day, though, it’s still your decision. You have to do what feels right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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