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Feel like family doesn't care

Sugarkane

By Sugarkane,
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Sugarkane2

Sugarkane2

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, stillafool said:

Why didn't you get a new job before you quit that one?  People stay in jobs they actually hate until they have secured another one and then quit to start the new job with better benefits.  They don't just quit knowing there will be no paycheck coming in to pay their bills.  Sugarkane how old are you?

Agree I should’ve done that when the work started drying up.

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stillafool

stillafool

Posted
Posted
51 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Agree I should’ve done that when the work started drying up.

Well there are still plenty of jobs available so you won't have any problems finding one.  Is your husband working?  How old are you guys?

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Sugarkane2

Sugarkane2

Posted
Posted
50 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Well there are still plenty of jobs available so you won't have any problems finding one.  Is your husband working?  How old are you guys?

My husband is working. We’re in our 30s. 

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Sugarkane2

Sugarkane2

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Who said you need to live away to get your daughter back?  And live away from whom?

Live away from my parents. It’s says so in the legal documents.

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basil67

basil67

Posted
Posted
Just now, Sugarkane2 said:

Live away from my parents. It’s says so in the legal documents.

OK.  We can't answer this question as we don't have the expertise or access to any of the documents.  Rather, it's something which needs to discussed jointly with CPS and your lawyer

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basil67

basil67

Posted
Posted

What do you do now?   

  • You start taking responsibility for yourself - no more complaining about others not propping you up.  You are an adult and it's time to stand on your own two feet.
  • Go and get a job.  As I mentioned before, there are so many jobs available. So much so that people in hospitality are taking on inexperienced staff for good wages
  • Work with a lawyer to help you undestand the reasons the court gave for removing custody of your eldest.  Fix whatever it is so that you can get get custody of both children
  • No more excuses.

 

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Sugarkane2

Sugarkane2

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, basil67 said:

What do you do now?   

  • You start taking responsibility for yourself - no more complaining about others not propping you up.  You are an adult and it's time to stand on your own two feet.
  • Go and get a job.  As I mentioned before, there are so many jobs available. So much so that people in hospitality are taking on inexperienced staff for good wages
  • Work with a lawyer to help you undestand the reasons the court gave for removing custody of your eldest.  Fix whatever it is so that you can get get custody of both children
  • No more excuses.

 

I still think my father might be a sociopath 

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Sugarkane2

Sugarkane2

Posted
Posted
25 minutes ago, stillafool said:

He most likely thinks the same about you.

Why? I’m not the one who makes promises and then goes back on their words. 

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Pumpernickel

Pumpernickel

Posted
Posted
13 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Why? I’m not the one who makes promises and then goes back on their words. 

Omg. Can you be a little bit more proactive? It doesn’t matter what your father does or doesn’t do, or what kind of person you THINK he is - at this point he is in charge of your child, and I doubt that whining about your parents and how awful they are will convince anyone, especially not the court, to return custody to you. Do you even want to have custody back? Or is this thread more about what you feel is owed to you by your parents? (Hint: probably nothing)

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basil67

basil67

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I still think my father might be a sociopath 

If this is your response to the answer of how to get your life in order and custody of your children, you may as well give up and walk away from them now. 

Pull up your big girl undies and start sorting your life out.

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stillafool

stillafool

Posted
Posted
40 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said:

Do you even want to have custody back? Or is this thread more about what you feel is owed to you by your parents? (Hint: probably nothing)

I believe the answer to that question is NO, they would much rather be the child and not have to grow up.

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ASG

ASG

Posted
Posted
On 12/6/2021 at 4:08 AM, Sugarkane2 said:

It’s just endless arguing that goes no where, in regards to my husband.

Then maybe you should think about getting a divorce. 

On 12/5/2021 at 11:05 AM, Sugarkane2 said:

I still think my father might be a sociopath 

That's neither here not there. Who cares? How is that gonnna help you get your life on track? It won't. So just let it go!

 

On 12/5/2021 at 8:44 AM, basil67 said:

What do you do now?   

  • You start taking responsibility for yourself - no more complaining about others not propping you up.  You are an adult and it's time to stand on your own two feet.
  • Go and get a job.  As I mentioned before, there are so many jobs available. So much so that people in hospitality are taking on inexperienced staff for good wages
  • Work with a lawyer to help you undestand the reasons the court gave for removing custody of your eldest.  Fix whatever it is so that you can get get custody of both children
  • No more excuses.

 

Basil's advice is solid. THIS is how you get your children back. Blaming other people, regardless of what they might have done, is pointless. It really doesn't matter if your dad went back on a promise. Just ignore that and move on. There is nothing you can do about it. Just maybe don't count on them for things. 

Get your life together on your own and stop blaming others. 

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basil67

basil67

Posted
Posted

And yet again, I suggest you get your lawyer to speak to CPS and sort out a solution.   And while you're at it, get a clear understanding of what is preventing you from gaining custody.   We can't help you with this - you need to get a team to sort it out from your end. 

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basil67

basil67

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I just don’t want to be guilt tripped into helping my father later on, when he didn’t care when I Needed help finding work.

We were talking about getting your child back. 

If you're going to keep switching your focus to being angry at your father instead of the steps to getting your child back, you will never, ever gain custody.   If you want to be a mother to them, stop complaining, grow up, find a job, get a lawyer and sort it all out.

Edited by basil67
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Acacia98

Acacia98

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Still got the problem of CPS wanting me at my parents place, but to get my daughter back I need to be living elsewhere.

Do you really want to address this problem, though? If you truly want to fix your problems, shouldn't you have started working on that list that basil sent you? By now, shouldn't you be telling us, "Okay, I've submitted 3 job applications today," or perhaps "How do you guys suggest I get a good lawyer I can afford?"

If your dad is a sociopath (and I don't know if he is), you still have to do those things that basil suggested to work towards ultimately regaining custody.

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