stillafool Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 9 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: What to do? What have you done in the last 2 weeks to improve your life? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 My husband wants me to do the cleaning business while he works elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 5 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said: My husband wants me to do the cleaning business while he works elsewhere. Maybe he hopes to make more money and improve your life financially? Have you obtained a copy of the court order yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 So stuck living with the narcissist/ sociopath Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 On 1/13/2022 at 1:28 AM, SoulCat said: What to do? You quit the endless, pointless arguing. You quit the tit-for-tat accusations and grievances. You quit relying on your parents for things you ought to take care of yourself. You quit whinging and whining about all that's 'unfair' in your life. You get pro-active: You get a job. You get your life on the rails. You ask for help from available resources. When you've done that, and you have a functioning, stable and secure home, you can try to get your child back. And, if you fail somewhere along the way; you get up, you dust yourself off and you try & try again. But I don't hold out much hope, if I'm honest. You've been here for years bemoaning your fate, while doing nothing of note to make any positive changes. All you do is blame others, specifically your family. But you are an adult, and therefore responsible for your own life. And this isn't some dress rehearsal, or a practice run. You don't get to have a do-over. You have one life, it's up to YOU to make the best of it. I don’t want to be guilt tripped into helping my father later on, when he doesn’t want to help anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 @Sugarkane2 I say this kindly: you're stuck spinning your wheels with these perseverating thoughts about your father. Your focus should be on getting your child back. Are you currently seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 Yes I am seeing a psychologist Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 Are they aware of your perseverating thoughts and helping you develop strategies to get out of the loop? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 10 minutes ago, basil67 said: Are they aware of your perseverating thoughts and helping you develop strategies to get out of the loop? Not really. I should ask next time. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 (edited) It would be great for you to be able to get back on track to focus on the really important stuff. If you want to look more at it, ruminating is another term for it. It's a real thing and I do believe this is happening to you. Edited February 1, 2022 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 11 minutes ago, basil67 said: It would be great for you to be able to get back on track to focus on the really important stuff. If you want to look more at it, ruminating is another term for it. It's a real thing and I do believe this is happening to you. Well what do I do about the narcissist/ sociopath? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 (edited) What is he actively doing to you right now? If he's not doing anything at present, you go and do something to distract yourself from this current bout of perseverating. Edited February 1, 2022 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 7 minutes ago, basil67 said: What is he actively doing to you right now? If he's not doing anything at present, you go and do something to distract yourself from this current bout of perseverating. He always is in a bad mood and loses it over small things. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 (edited) Have you discussed your problem with your father with your psychologist? What do they advise? Edited February 1, 2022 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 He doesn’t say much about it Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 OK, so talk through the issue with your psych. Both how to deal with your father and the ruminating about the issues. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 6 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: I don’t want to be guilt tripped into helping my father later on, when he doesn’t want to help anyone else. On 1/12/2022 at 2:28 PM, SoulCat said: Quit the endless, pointless arguing. Quit the tit-for-tat accusations and grievances. You're still doing it. Nothing is ever going to change for the better for you, when you continue to insist on focusing on this tit for tat nonsense. You do have agency, lady. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 1, 2022 Share Posted February 1, 2022 11 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: I don’t want to be guilt tripped into helping my father later on, when he doesn’t want to help anyone else. You aren't obligated to help your father. You ARE obligated to take care of yourself and your child, though. What are you doing about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted February 9, 2022 Share Posted February 9, 2022 Can’t stand being at my parents Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 9, 2022 Share Posted February 9, 2022 7 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said: Can’t stand being at my parents Move out and get your own place. It's pass time for you to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted February 9, 2022 Share Posted February 9, 2022 On 1/31/2022 at 11:34 PM, Sugarkane2 said: So stuck living with the narcissist/ sociopath Are you referring to your father? You're not stuck living with him nor anyone else. Next time you are on a computer, use that time to research services in your area that might help you with education, housing, etc. Have you done all the services/classes required to get your child back? Your child's caseworker also has access to different organizations and services she/he could refer you to so that you can work toward getting your child back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane2 Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 6 hours ago, vla1120 said: Are you referring to your father? You're not stuck living with him nor anyone else. Next time you are on a computer, use that time to research services in your area that might help you with education, housing, etc. Have you done all the services/classes required to get your child back? Your child's caseworker also has access to different organizations and services she/he could refer you to so that you can work toward getting your child back. I am stuck there because CPS wants me with my parents. I’ve started a parenting program. Link to post Share on other sites
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