Feel like family doesn't care

[Sugarkane2]

6 minutes ago, basil67 said:

What about the cleaning company you and your husband started?   Are you still employed there, or did it fail?

 

My husband still has it.

[clia]

On 11/27/2021 at 2:40 AM, Sugarkane2 said:

My. Whole world fell apart. Kept having money problems and my in laws went to court and sued me for custody. Meanwhile my parents went on holiday with their inheritance and bragged about it. Pretty disappointing thing to do to someone.

Where is your husband in all of this?  How does he feel about his parents suing for custody of his child(ren)?  

You've been posting here for years, the same cryptic posts, blaming everyone else for everything that is happening in your life, without taking any responsibility for yourself or your situation.  You've complained about your situation for years, and then you chose to have another baby with your husband.  

You are an adult.  Go find a job.  Everywhere is hiring right now.  Your husband can watch your 8 month old or you can arrange for daycare, the way everyone else does.  

[stillafool]

8 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

My husband still has it.

Well if he has a cleaning service he probably cleans businesses at night.  So you watch the kids at night and let him watch them during the day.  Stop asking and expecting your parents to help you.  Start taking care of your own business yourself.  One day they will be gone so you'd better get used to taking care of yourselves now.

[ASG]

On 11/28/2021 at 12:34 AM, Sugarkane2 said:

Help me look for work or help me find some agencies that aren’t a waste of time

No one can help you look for work. That's YOUR responsibility. If your parents were recruiters or something, then maybe. But they're not. They don't have to and frankly shouldn't need to help you. You're a grown woman. Find yourself a job. Stop blaming other people for YOUR issues. 

 

[Sugarkane2]

6 hours ago, clia said:

Where is your husband in all of this?  How does he feel about his parents suing for custody of his child(ren)?  

You've been posting here for years, the same cryptic posts, blaming everyone else for everything that is happening in your life, without taking any responsibility for yourself or your situation.  You've complained about your situation for years, and then you chose to have another baby with your husband.  

You are an adult.  Go find a job.  Everywhere is hiring right now.  Your husband can watch your 8 month old or you can arrange for daycare, the way everyone else does.  

My husband doesn’t like what they’ve done and has also been traumatised by what happened. It’s not that simple CPS want me at my parents.

[stillafool]

19 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

It’s not that simple CPS want me at my parents.

Why?  Are you a danger to your kids?  And, just because CPS wants you there doesn't mean it's your parents responsibility to do it.  GYST!

Edited November 29, 2021 by stillafool

[Sugarkane2]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

Why?  Are you a danger to your kids?  And, just because CPS wants you there doesn't mean it's your parents responsibility to do it.  GYST!

No I’m not a danger at all. They want me to have support 

[stillafool]

8 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

No I’m not a danger at all. They want me to have support 

What do you need support with?  Do they realize you're an adult and it's not your parents responsibility.  It's your husband's responsibility to support you.  What will you do when you no longer have your parents in your life? From your past post your parents have tried to suppot you but now it''s time for you and your husband to grow up and learn to support yourselves.  Especially since you have kids.

Edited November 29, 2021 by stillafool

[Sugarkane2]

4 minutes ago, stillafool said:

What do you need support with?  Do they realize you're an adult and it's not your parents responsibility.  It's your husband's responsibility to support you.  What will you do when you no longer have your parents in your life? From your past post your parents have tried to suppot you but now it''s time for you and your husband to grow up and learn to support yourselves.  Especially since you have kids.

I desperately want to be on my own, but it’s up to CPS not me.

[stillafool]

4 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I desperately want to be on my own, but it’s up to CPS not me.

Why is it up to CPS and if you really want to be on your own why do you need your parents help to simply find a job.  If you want to be independent start by finding your own job.

[Sugarkane2]

4 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Why is it up to CPS and if you really want to be on your own why do you need your parents help to simply find a job.  If you want to be independent start by finding your own job.

Because with them they have legal authority 

[stillafool]

17 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Because with them they have legal authority 

Legal authority over what? and why do they have legal authority of something that belongs to you?

[Sugarkane2]

12 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Legal authority over what? and why do they have legal authority of something that belongs to you?

Because they would probably come and take my child away. 

[Pumpernickel]

42 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Because they would probably come and take my child away. 

Could you be a bit more specific? There are so so many pages here already, and I still can’t figure out who did what and why. Why did you lose custody, and is your child with your parents now? On vacation? I think generally speaking if you & your husband want to regain custody, it would be of utmost importance to get your life (back) on track (after whatever it is that happened).  
 

This includes making sure you have a steady income, esp if your husband’s business isn’t yielding enough of a profit. It also means not to be dependent on your parents, for support & money and whatnot. It’s not their job anymore to provide for you, esp not financially. Why do you think they owe you something? 

[Sugarkane2]

8 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said:

Could you be a bit more specific? There are so so many pages here already, and I still can’t figure out who did what and why. Why did you lose custody, and is your child with your parents now? On vacation? I think generally speaking if you & your husband want to regain custody, it would be of utmost importance to get your life (back) on track (after whatever it is that happened).  
 

This includes making sure you have a steady income, esp if your husband’s business isn’t yielding enough of a profit. It also means not to be dependent on your parents, for support & money and whatnot. It’s not their job anymore to provide for you, esp not financially. Why do you think they owe you something? 

Because I can’t figure out what I did or why myself. Nothing about the case makes any sense.                                         I mean my parents expect me to be there when they need help or should I just do the same thing?  They shouldn’t be making promises that they won’t keep.

[basil67]

With all due respect, if you can't understand why you lost custody, can't understand the court reports and can't find a job without your parent's help, you probably do need support in raising your child.  

If you want your child back and to raise them without support, you need to stop all this victimhood and demonstrate that you can stand on your own two feet.  This means personal responsibility on your part.  

Now, when you first started writing here, you had a good job and money.  So you do know how to do this.  

Edited November 30, 2021 by basil67

[Pumpernickel]

53 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Because I can’t figure out what I did or why myself. Nothing about the case makes any sense.                                         I mean my parents expect me to be there when they need help or should I just do the same thing?  They shouldn’t be making promises that they won’t keep.

So you are literally saying that you’ve got no idea why they took your child? Then why don’t you and your husband make it a priority to find out why?? Because that would be the first and most important  step to solve the problem. All you do is say that the case makes “no sense”. Well, if that’s true, then prove it to the court.  Because apparently to them, you’re an unfit parent. Explain to them that their decision was unfair/wrong. Find the root cause, work it out. You seem awfully passive ….. everybody else would be up in arms to fight the case. Instead, all you do is complain about what your parents did wrong, and how they break their promises. This will NOT help you get your child back. 

Edited November 30, 2021 by Pumpernickel

[Pumpernickel]

5 minutes ago, basil67 said:

With all due respect, if you can't understand why you lost custody, can't understand the court reports and can't find a job without your parent's help, you probably do need support in raising your child.  

This, and also - where’s the husband in all this? Is he equally indifferent/passive about the whole custody thing?

[Sugarkane2]

4 hours ago, Pumpernickel said:

This, and also - where’s the husband in all this? Is he equally indifferent/passive about the whole custody thing?

It’s just endless arguing about money and each other’s parents. 

[Sugarkane2]

8 hours ago, basil67 said:

With all due respect, if you can't understand why you lost custody, can't understand the court reports and can't find a job without your parent's help, you probably do need support in raising your child.  

If you want your child back and to raise them without support, you need to stop all this victimhood and demonstrate that you can stand on your own two feet.  This means personal responsibility on your part.  

Now, when you first started writing here, you had a good job and money.  So you do know how to do this.  

I didn’t have a good job when I started writing here. 

[basil67]

31 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I didn’t have a good job when I started writing here. 

Yes, you did.   In this post back in 2011, you wrote 

I have my own job, car, money

You were doing very well for yourself and were rightfully proud of your achievements.  If you could get a job and save for a car then, you could do it now.

[Sugarkane2]

17 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Yes, you did.   In this post back in 2011, you wrote 

I have my own job, car, money

You were doing very well for yourself and were rightfully proud of your achievements.  If you could get a job and save for a car then, you could do it now.

It wasn’t a good job and I had no job security. 

[stillafool]

3 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

It wasn’t a good job and I had no job security. 

Why didn't you get a new job before you quit that one?  People stay in jobs they actually hate until they have secured another one and then quit to start the new job with better benefits.  They don't just quit knowing there will be no paycheck coming in to pay their bills.  Sugarkane how old are you?

[stillafool]

9 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

It’s just endless arguing about money and each other’s parents. 

What are you two going to do when your parents are no longer here?

[basil67]

10 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

It wasn’t a good job and I had no job security. 

And yet you were working and were able to afford a car.   If you can get one job, you can get another job.