mario_C Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 Hi, everybody! So I've written here before about my depression and stuff, but I don't think it's that. I want to chalk it up to I'm lazy, but I feel like it's something more complex. I had dreams. I wanted to be somebody, or at least do good work with my creative pursuits (animation, jazz, and sundry) or at least prove I was born for a reason. Now...all I want to do is eat, play dumb video games, and watch Mythbusters. What's wrong with me? I used to have a work ethic, kind of. I get that goals are a journey as much as a destination, and I've worked on that for so, so long. ...but I'm not interested in goals or the work or anything about life at all anymore. No friends to encourage me, of course, which means nothing about me to attract friends of any kind. I look forward to you being harsh and mean about this. I know, I deserve it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 How about you start by making some "Things to do" lists. (yes paper and pen lists) First create a list with just the basics: Brush teeth, shower, do laundry, make bed, do dishes, etc. As you complete each task scratch it off the list. Second, make a list of things with a little more effort: Wash, wax and vacuum car, pick up debris in yard & hoe weeds, maybe trim a tree or two, spring clean your home (including those baseboards). Again as you complete each task, cross it off the list. Third, make a list of long term items you wish to accomplish. Take a class at a local college, write a jazz piece, create a few blocks of animation or artwork, get a better job (one that challenges you). You'd be surprised how much you accomplish in a day, week or month as you look through your old lists and see all the items you scratched off. I make a list everyday of the things I wish to accomplish. I also keep a list of long term items on my computer and check it from time to time, so I can schedule the next big project. If you need more encouragement, post tasks you've completed on your thread, here. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 @mario_C I started thinking some more about lists and "things to do" and you could make a list for exercising and getting that blood moving. Take a walk, a short jog, lift some weights (if you don't have weights fill some empty milk jugs with water), maybe some push ups... If the body is active, the mind will be as well!! Again, after you complete each exercise on the list (for that day), scratch it off your list and move on to the next task/item. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mario_C Posted November 29, 2021 Author Share Posted November 29, 2021 Hi, HL. I appreciate the ideas! This is weird - someone (reputable) is reaching out about freelance stuff. And I'm freaking out...in a bad way. My main problem is that nothing I've ever done has led to success. And now I'm under the gun, again. Obviously I have to dive in and do the gig, but I'm really sad that I'm just going to disappoint everyone, as usual. But at least it will keep me busy... Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 29, 2021 Share Posted November 29, 2021 14 hours ago, mario_C said: This is weird - someone (reputable) is reaching out about freelance stuff. And I'm freaking out...in a bad way. My main problem is that nothing I've ever done has led to success. And now I'm under the gun, again. Obviously I have to dive in and do the gig, but I'm really sad that I'm just going to disappoint everyone, as usual. But at least it will keep me busy... Can you submit a "first draft" of your work?? When I worked, I used to submit a "first draft - subject to change" project to my boss for input/advice/suggestions. 95% of the time, he'd say "This is perfect, just write "final copy" on it and send it out" I think you need to look at success in a different way... Do you have food, shelter and clothing?? If yes, you are doing better than a lot of people out there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted November 29, 2021 Share Posted November 29, 2021 There are some excellent recommendations here. Motivation is not a given that exists at all times. Like the tide, it comes and goes, and then comes and goes again. I'll just add that you can look for inspirational stories as well. In the search term, Google a specific aim with success stories. Reading other people's success stories, as well as the problems they experienced and how they overcame them, can help. I keep a little journal of quotes that I identify with; it may sound silly, but reading over them occasionally helps. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted November 29, 2021 Share Posted November 29, 2021 On 11/28/2021 at 1:09 AM, mario_C said: but I'm not interested in goals or the work or anything about life at all anymore. Yes can empathise with some of this, especially on the work front at times, I dont know- perhaps the competitive streak in me keeps me going at times of need- always want to win. there must be something there that ignites your spirit- what floats your boat? good to be alive at any rate- we will be dead long enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 30, 2021 Share Posted November 30, 2021 There's been a serious epidemic of mental health problems and depression from the pandemic. From economic losses to loss of jobs to loss of enjoyment to social isolation. The best thing you can do is get an evaluation of your physical and mental health from a physician and ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. Other than that. Get more involved. Structure yourself to join some groups, and clubs, volunteer, get a side job, get involved in sports and fitness. Reach out to people. Structure things so that you have things to do,places to go and people to interact with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mario_C Posted January 8, 2022 Author Share Posted January 8, 2022 On 11/28/2021 at 9:10 PM, mario_C said: Hi, HL. I appreciate the ideas! This is weird - someone (reputable) is reaching out about freelance stuff. And I'm freaking out...in a bad way. My main problem is that nothing I've ever done has led to success. And now I'm under the gun, again. Obviously I have to dive in and do the gig, but I'm really sad that I'm just going to disappoint everyone, as usual. But at least it will keep me busy... And it crashed...sort of. I'm not fired, I was never officially hired...the new world of online work is strange in how informal it is. How does anyone get paid? Whatever... I guess what's forcing me to speak here is that I feel like I should never have been born. I don't serve a purpose, I don't have talents, or I'm too much of a wuss to broadcast what I do do well. It's why I have no friends and no life. And yes, I do feel shame over it. That was being debated whether or not I really regret being useless, and yes...yes. I do. And I know every day is a new beginning and stuff...but it's the days lost that hurt. You can't get those back. You can't buy them back, you can't grow them back...my prime of life is over and I can't do anything about it. No one can. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 4 hours ago, mario_C said: And I know every day is a new beginning and stuff...but it's the days lost that hurt. You can't get those back. You can't buy them back, you can't grow them back...my prime of life is over and I can't do anything about it. No one can. shyt happens buddy, you can only focus on the present and the next day, you got good advice there in the previous posts, give it a go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpernickel Posted January 9, 2022 Share Posted January 9, 2022 22 hours ago, mario_C said: I don't have talents, Apparently you do; otherwise, people wouldn’t contact you for freelance work. So there’s somebody who knows you and who appreciates you and and your work. 22 hours ago, mario_C said: How does anyone get paid? Like every regular business, I suppose. You deliver, you send and invoice, you get paid. If you have clients who are unreliable and bad payers, you drop them. I hope you have a contract in place that defines your T&C. You shouldn’t deliver any work, if the client hasn’t signed. A contract is your basis for getting paid. And if you don’t get paid, it’s your basis for filing a claim in court (eg small claims court, depending on the value of the work you delivered). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 9, 2022 Share Posted January 9, 2022 22 hours ago, mario_C said: And it crashed...sort of. I'm not fired, I was never officially hired...the new world of online work is strange in how informal it is. How does anyone get paid? Whatever... I guess what's forcing me to speak here is that I feel like I should never have been born. I don't serve a purpose, I don't have talents, or I'm too much of a wuss to broadcast what I do do well. It's why I have no friends and no life. And yes, I do feel shame over it. That was being debated whether or not I really regret being useless, and yes...yes. I do. And I know every day is a new beginning and stuff...but it's the days lost that hurt. You can't get those back. You can't buy them back, you can't grow them back...my prime of life is over and I can't do anything about it. No one can. So do something that motivates you to feel happy you were born. Waiting for that feeling to just fruit itself is not going to happen. We all may have regrets. It’s good to acknowledge them. Don’t do it again and try something differently. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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