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Turning back to my old self


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Hey guys I don’t know who is gonna read it but I appreciate all your answers. So after my last long ass break up from which I’m still not healed I think I want to be the old me. So let’s begin from the start after breaking up with my ex I become a complete shut in cut all my ties with friends and everyone else. After that I started to get closer to my religion (Muslim) and after a lot of thinking I started to wear the hijab, not because of anyone’s influence but because I wanted to become the best version of myself. So here I am now wearing the hijab for almost a year now, wanting to return to my old self. I want to go out meet guys, date again, feel loved and wanted. To never have compare myself again because I don’t think I’m enough with the hijab. I want to be that girl I used to be, going out with friends every Saturday, hearing nice compliments from all the man, which gave me such a confidence boost but now I think, the person who I see in the mirror is just a Clown who stills wears it to not let my parents down who are really religious and are so proud of me for wearing it like my sister and mom. The confidence I had the first time I wore the hijab decreases everyday more and I find myself wondering if I did the right thing. 

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9 minutes ago, _Bunny_ said:

I want to go out meet guys, date again, feel loved and wanted.

do this then go out live your life enjoy yourself,

dont let your family stifle your freedom,

break free.

although be careful too with the guys, go at your own pace what your comfortable with. find your own path first and what you like and think about men in a couple of years.

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14 minutes ago, Foxhall said:

do this then go out live your life enjoy yourself,

dont let your family stifle your freedom,

break free.

although be careful too with the guys, go at your own pace what your comfortable with. find your own path first and what you like and think about men in a couple of years.

But I don’t even know if this is the right thing to do. I’m not confident and not feeling so good even thinking about taking it off. It just pops up in my head sometimes and I really don’t want to let my family down after everything I have done to have them trust me again. 

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Just thinking I contradicted myself didnt I , what I highlighted and what I said ,

(never mind- thats what they call the Irish way- an apparent contradiction)

Anyway clearly not easy for you to break away from your family,

I feel though it is wrong they have this hold over you, holding you back,

you should be able to go out enjoy yourself with your friends,  find your own path in life,

Your feeling in your soul it is not right just living to please them,

gradual steps perhaps- take time to meet new people get out there without wearing the hijab,

Germany your living is it? I mean you have no obligation there to wear it

make a statement-  you are an adult and making your own choices.

but actually I do say- dont rush to guys looking to obtain confidence- that will come from as I say making your own choices.

seek your own independence.

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