Help Me I Dont Know Who I Am!!!!!!

[3questions]

Greetings. I have a problem, a complicating one. I am not exactly sure of who I am. Interests, likes, dislikes, goals, what I want to major in as for a career? I am 16 and I should be thinking ahead of these things. Really, I dont have it too much in my mind.

 

Mainly though, I have been "anchoring" which is to bounce in to someone (one who you seem to want to be at the moment that has the confidence to talk without thinking so much) and be subconsciously thinking. I tend to discover myself doing it fairly often and I don't understand anymore of who I am and what I should do to create someone. I been trying to fight to get answers for myself.. I been trying to figure out who I am or even what I was before all of this mess. Still not working..

 

BTW.. ever since I dated my girlfriend I just seem to have followed her. I am trying to take the lead now and create some sort of personality so I can actually have a chance for her to be "really" interested in me. And i'd "really" be a boyfriend.

 

I have moments where I think I am being myself, but I'd just be brought back down for some reason.

 

I want to be a cool guy.. dress fresh.. quiet but a ladies guy and out-going. I mean can you just make a list and want to be it? I dont get it. When I do think of this I think about this dude that has these qualities.

 

I want to start accomplishing goals, getting a job, but I cant do none of these things when I dont know who I am. I just sit there.. and bite my nails.. people say i am quiet. And I just subconsciously think about things. So I cant even present in front of the class because how can you present when you dont even know how to react w/ people that dont know you. BTW i move to a new school. I want to start all these things but i dont start.

 

Do you know what I can do to achieve this? I am not being productive and growing if this continues. And what is wrong with me?

[HokeyReligions]

What are your interests? Hobbies? Look into some career fields - talk to college or high-school counselors and go to career fairs. Do a little investigating when you find something that sounds interesting to you. You might find you have a natural aptitude toward science or math. Maybe medicine or driving. Perhaps chess or history. You might be interested in history or finance. Perhaps you lean toward a creative side and maybe advertising or graphic arts will interest you.

 

Don't try to make yourself into something you are not simply because you want to impress another person or be what the other person is looking for. It won't work.

 

Do you like video games? Maybe you could look into what it takes to be a game developer/designer.

 

Relax, don't think you have to figure all of this out right now. Allow yourself to BE yourself. People can generally tell when someone is projecting an image that doesn't suit them.

 

Wear clothes that you feel good in, or that make you feel good about yourself -- don't wear something that's in style JUST because it's in style, if it doesn't make you feel good wearing it. The same with trying on different persona's.

 

Find a club or two at school that interest YOU and join. Don't join a club that doesn't interest you in order to impress another person. You'll only let yourself down.

 

Developing and understand who you are now is how you make the right choices to get you to where you want to be later --- and believe me, you'll change your mind about that as you experience more in life.

[rschief]

start with one goal. see a scool counsouler to help you choose best courses to prepare you to get in colleage. You can start colleage with out a major. girls and goals. if you are being brought down buy others, say to them, "not today, you have know influence on me with that tone. Can you say something positive to me now too counter act this negative influence I have just experianced?" then smile, give a momment for them to ponder, and tell them I must move forward now.by