6 weeks relationship - Stunned now

[Akashsingh]

Hello, 

I met a beautiful & genuine person 6 weeks ago. First couple of dates were really nice. After the second date, she called me to say if I had covid (my friend said this was a signal she was interested). I took that as an insult and deleted her profile. She again asked me if that meant we were done. I said to her I misunderstood her and we could date aagain.

Third date was also awesome, we went hiking on a simple trail and then had dinner together. After dinner she came to my place just to hang out. She asked me why did my marriage fail to which I said my ex had called cops on me. Everything seemed nice. I also mentioned to her that I was still without kids and she had kids but I wasnt sure I am just yet ready to close this option.

She went home and called me to say "we should break up" because our goals were different. I didnt call her for 2 days. She then again reached out to me , basically blew up my phone. So I said, she needed to back off from extreme step and that breaking up or threatening wasnt really healthy. The 4th date was almost a repeat of 3rd and was good again. 

On the 5th date, she came to my place and stayed the night. The first time sex wasnt that good, I had trouble keeping erection. I developed anixety due to this. She assured me it was due to stress and invited me to her place for the next date. In the meanwhile she also started acting needy and questioning my every move as to why I did something. So I asked her to back off and she did. I went to her place on the condition that I would not stay the night. She said ok. She was a great host and played guitar for me which was really nice. I felt she was trying to change my mind into staying and when I didnt, she got angry at me. She said she had planned a date with another guy but got mad at me for still being on tinder.  Apparantly she had gone through tough times for a couple of years ago. I didnt stay at her place due to this and returned home. She was upset with me but she called and immediately patched things up.

Next weekend I wanted a break and she wasnt happy that I wanted a break from seeing her. So we had a rough conversation and we wanted to mutually break up (again). She again reached out to me saying I was harsh and I apologized quickly. 

The 7th weekend was a gateway to a nearby place. This was a great date. She and I had a great time and great sex too (3 times). After the date , I went to her place, stayed there for a bit. She wanted me to have dinner and then go home. I wasnt hungry so I went home without it.  I thought we had patched things up here. I also told her , I was planning a new year gateway and she was welcome to join it.

Next day, she texted me saying I dont treat her like a girlfriend to which I responded by saying she always complained when we were away.  I renewed my invitation to her to join me in new years gateway. She said she will get back to me. After that she went cold on me. I called her for a couple of days to which she said she welcomed the call. 

When trying to set up the next date, she was evasive always coming up with excuses. I asked her to talk to me at length which we did for hours. She and I shared our secrets but then she said she would meet me again but I had to test for STDs and that she was already tested as she had two small kids. I found this request odd. I thought this was another curveball to break up. I was in no mood to do the test but she kept nagging me for it. I felt pushed around to do something I didnt have to but I did the test and I was negative. 

She again said we could meet and that I could go to her place. I instead proposed we hit the trail we did on the 3rd date. She said ok. She , it seems was again upset that I didnt visit her house. 

Later in the night she  sprang a surprise on me . She called me to say, she met a guy who could be a better long term match and proposed that my date be moved to afternoon. She said it was their first meeting and that the guy seemed to want LTR whereas I just wanted to date and fool around. She said she had also spoken to her ex about me who had advised her to end her relationship with me. Her ex has done her a lot of favors and she treats him like her brother.

I said based on this weeks account, it does seem like you just want to break up. So lets just breakup . She said I was acting up about her meeting another guy. I said no, I was just making it simple for her so she could focus on him 100% This was the first time I ever proposed breakup but I also apologized for not treating her right. She said, I might regret this and there was only one decision and it would be permanent. I felt horrible , I could not sleep the night and was almost in tears today, so I called her she seemed to be happy and said to me she had a great date with this guy and she was positive she didnt want to see me for sometime. I wished her good luck and that I was happy to see her happy. I am still processing my emotions as to how things went so bad within a week of a great trip or was this premediated revenge on her part.

 

 

 

Edited December 5, 2021 by Akashsingh

[S2B]

Too much drama with her. Just end it for good! 
life is too short to put up with her ups and downs.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Akashsingh said:

. She asked me why did my marriage fail to which I said my ex had called cops on me. 

She went home and called me to say "we should break up" because our goals were different. 

Unfortunately it seems like you were never exclusive. That's ok. There was way too much drama for dating a few weeks. Be glad it's over and you can move forward.

[Akashsingh]

14 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately it seems like you were never exclusive. That's ok. There was way too much drama for dating a few weeks. Be glad it's over and you can move forward.

I am quite relieved now but you had quoted my ex calling Cops on me might have been the issue. It doesn't seem like as she continued dating me for 3-4 weeks after that.The main reason she quoted repeatedly was my unwillingness to give up the option to have kids and not willing to commit to her. Given that I was on tinder even after a few weeks of dating (she continued to be on match as well), she felt I would never settle with her and keep looking. On the contrary we both know each others secrets and sexual history and she said she liked my honesty

Edited December 6, 2021 by Akashsingh

[Wiseman2]

20 hours ago, Akashsingh said:

 my ex calling Cops on me might have been the issue.

Why did your ex call the police? Maybe sort that out before springing it on new dates.

[Akashsingh]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why did your ex call the police? Maybe sort that out before springing it on new dates.

 A lot of women don't have an issue with it surprisingly. They find honesty refreshing. Some do but this is a fact from past which needs to be addressed.

Edited December 6, 2021 by Akashsingh