Best friend said she wants my husband

[by the beach]

What do you do when your best friend of 36 years tells you she wants to sleep with your husband? No, she wasn’t joking. When I quizzed her she doubled down a number of times.

Now I know she would never do it, she would never betray me, I can be confident of that, and even if she was to try I know my husband wouldn’t do a thing anyway. So I’m not worried about it actually happening but I can’t unhear what I heard. I now know as an absolute fact that she wants to.

If this was anyone else the friendship would be over but this is my BFF, my “sister”. I met her hours after I was born. She has always been there, through everything. It makes me sick when I think about her not being around any more.  I can't lose her.

To put it into context as it may help understand, we were talking and I was complaining about how my hubby and I have too much sex, we’re talking at least once a day, every single day. Don’t get me wrong, I love it most of the time but I must have been having an off day and I just spewed it out to her. She just every so casually offered to help. She said she would love to take any of his spare sex drive that I can’t cater to or something along those lines. I really thought she was joking. She wasn’t. She started telling me how she’s had a crush for years. I really lost it, I couldn’t stop crying, I didn’t know who this person was anymore. She tried to smooth things over by assuring me she never would without my express permission but it’s not about whether she will, it’s about the fact she wants to.  It never really got resolved, I mean how could it?  And then she left to give me some space and I haven't seen her for a week now.

Is there any way to get past this? I don’t want to lose her, I miss her already and it’s only been a week, but how can I ever look at her the same again? My husband knew something was up so I had to tell him and he’s pretty angry on my behalf although I think being a guy he’s secretly a bit chuffed. He says he’ll support whatever I decide but was adamant that he’s not the slightest bit interested in anyone other than me sexually.

What do you think? Can our friendship be saved? Where do we start? How?  Maybe it's ok to have those feelings and she was just wrong to voice them?  

[Wiseman2]

It seems like you have 2 problems. One is your marriage and the other is this friend. Does this friend have a BF? 

[by the beach]

5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It seems like you have 2 problems. One is your marriage and the other is this friend. Does this friend have a BF? 

Why do you say there's an issue with my marriage?

She has been married.  Lost her husband to an accident 4 years ago.  She went off the rails for a while and partied with anyone who was willing but then pulled herself together and has been single for the last 18 months.  She does have a regular FWB though. 

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, by the beach said:

.  She does have a regular FWB though. 

Distance yourself. It's your only option. Don't confide in her about your marital problems . Save that for the therapist.

[by the beach]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Distance yourself. It's your only option. Don't confide in her about your marital problems . Save that for the therapist.

This is my lifelong friend.  Surely we can work it out?  I just don't know how.  She would normally be the one I'd have this conversation with.  

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, by the beach said:

.  She would normally be the one I'd have this conversation with.  

Well this obnoxious offer is a game changer so you need to rethink and regroup. That means stop talking to her about your marital problems. You have no other more stable friends and family to talk to?