What is up with this!??!

[Guest099]

OK, my girlfriend of 9 months is again still chatting to her ex.

 

Basically, when we got together she was still seeing and chatting heavily to an ex. They were probably off and on for roughly 6 months at this time. I never knew about this, and it was until after 6 months of seeing each other that I stumbled across this communication. I discovered this through some research which she didnt (and still does not know) I found out.

 

Anyways, I eventually bought it up in a roundabout way and told her to stop all communication with him, she confessed that it was nothing just friends (but the emails tell a completely different story). Anyways, she emailed him and told him that she wants to move on, end of story.

 

All was good for a month or so, then he started up on the emails again, professing love for her etc etc, and she still continues to reply to him!! She doesnt say much, it is quite to the point in her emails, but still ....

 

I have asked her a couple of times since she said she would stop, and she is still telling me she has heard nothing from him, so she is lying to my face basically.

 

He wants her, and I guess all this communication made me think that he will never go away.

 

What should I do!?!

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

This is very bad news on various counts:

1) She continues to be in contact and communicating with her ex which is very disrespectful to you and your relationship. Does she do this because she wants a back up plan if you guys split?

2) How would she feel if the roles were reversed and you were staying in contact with your ex girlfriend who professed her love to you over and over.

3) She is lying to you about no contact which is a clear message that your relationship is in big trouble. You now know she has no problem lying to your face about communicating with her ex and continues to do so.

4) If she feels comfortable lying to you about this then what else will she feel comfortable lying to you about?

5) Ask yourself why you would wish to invest your time and feelings on a woman who continues to lie to your face about communicating with her ex lover and boyfriend after she says to you she would not?

[glittergurl]

Whoa, that sucks. It would teach her lesson if you would throw yourself off a bridge and die of a painful death with a suicide note pinned on your shirt; but ehh, I guess that's not a good option

 

You need to tell her that this is hurting you deeply. If she doesn't care, then you should seriously move on, because it would show a serious lack of maturity from her part. If she's not ready to give up on his e-mails while being with you in a long-term relationship, then she's not ready for commitment.

[{loverboy}]

Yea, any guy trying to profess love for my girl would get force-fed a can of whoop ass. Ever thought about confronting this guy?

[Guest099]

She I would again confront her about all of this, but she doesnt know I have been looking at her emails ...

 

Why she continues to talk to him, I have no idea. But it has gotten to a point that I really dont trust her anymore. I mean if she is going out, I think to myself that she will probably hook up with this guy again ... and that is no way to live really

 

The thing is that this other guy in already in a relationship, and although he is not happy in it (or so he says) he still continues to bombard my GF with feelings of love, that he is missing her etc. She doesnt relay those feelings back to him, but my point is that she told me she would stop it, but she hasnt.

 

If I ask her out of the blue if she has heard anything from him again, she will just deny it, like she has every other time. But the thing that gets me, is she loves me, and told me she would never talk to him again, out of respect for me, and that she doesnt want to hurt me ...