Is my Girlfriend cheating

[Loureiro]

I think my gf cheated on me, and with a girl. Quick back story about us, been together 8 years, with 1 year separation between. We got back together last year and living together. I always felt my gf had weird relationships with her female friends, like really intense, and that she only watched lesbian porn. Still I couldn't be sure. But the year apart, her female friend needed help so my gf let her go stay with her and her family 1 week. Ended up being over 1 year. We got back together and this is when the problems started. First I wasn't allowed in the house while she was there. Also my gf gave her own room to her, and stayed in the small spare room. The reason I also couldn't stay over. During this time there was some evenings my gf wouldn't answer my calls. And lied when I asked why. I know now it was because those nights they were drinking and doing drugs together. Anyway, it was only for couple of months then she moved out. Gf promised that was it, nothing else happened and she cut friendship with her. We moved in together. Everything seemed good until now. I found out they used to have big physical fights, even smashing bottles on each other. Also since her friend moved out my gf as gone over to her house few times. And lied to me every time. When I asked my gf she said she did go those times but always gave some reason why, like dropping some stuff over etc. And that she lied so I wouldn't get mad. I know all this sounds bad, but she really been trying and showing me that she wants us and to start family. My love is blinding me. Please anyone give me your advice, as my gf cheated and is she lesbian/bi.

Edited December 11, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[basil67]

I can't tell you if she's cheating.   But what we do know from your previous thread and this thread is that your relationship is rocky, she's violent and lies.   Those things alone should be enough to make you walk away.

[glows]

The lying alone is a dealbreaker. If you have a child together, that child is also subjected to this dysfunction between the both of you. Is that something you want? 

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Loureiro said:

. I know now it was because those nights they were drinking and doing drugs together.  We moved in together. . I found out they used to have big physical fights, even smashing bottles on each other. 

Drinking doing drugs and getting into physical fights is by far a much bigger problem than speculation about her sexuality.

Also your relationship seems quite incompatible and strained. On/off relationships are usually fraught with incompatibilities and unresolved conflicts. This "she's lesbian" is simply the lastest issue.

Has she been evaluated by a physician for her physical and mental health including substance abuse and violet behaviors? Has she made an effort to get clean and sober?

[elaine567]

10 hours ago, Loureiro said:

she wants us and to start family

Sure... she sounds like perfect mother material...

Wake up.

[ExpatInItaly]

18 hours ago, Loureiro said:

she wants us and to start family.

That would be incredibly selfish and unfair to an innocent baby. 

 

[jdesey]

I guess she’s cheating. But what you do know is that she’s lying to you and you’re catching her in those lies. For me I’m out at that point. I have been lied to and cheated on by numerous women. If you forgive her every time she lies to you and you catch her it’s like you’re endorsing it for future occurrences. Why would she stop lying if she knows you’re going to forgive her every time. 

[smackie9]

Cheating or not...if this is how she is acting and treating you, causing you anxiety, and have to doubts...this is toxic/unhealthy, kick her to the curb and be done with it.

Always stick with stability. This girl ain't that.

Edited December 12, 2021 by smackie9