I Just Want to Let Go

[kunaka1000]

Hello

I am currently with my girlfriend of almost 2years. This has been one of the toughest relationships I have ever been in. For almost 2 years she drained me emotionally, mentally and now physically.

For a while now everything caught up with me and it's like my heart gave up cause I do not feel anything for her. At times I feel like i deliberately sabotage my relationship by causing unnecessary fights without even knowing.

I know I don't love her anymore and I don't want to be with her but I struggle with letting her go.

I am not sure why, every attempt I have tried I have failed and I do not get why. I keep thinking maybe I am afraid of being alone because for the last 7 years I have been in a relationship, one long term one and this current one and both a week apart from ending to starting.

I would love any advice or ways I can just finally let go.

Thank You

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, kunaka1000 said:

I am not sure why, every attempt I have tried I have failed and I do not get why.

What sort of attempts have you made? 

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, kunaka1000 said:

 I do not feel anything for her. 

I know I don't love her anymore.

I don't want to be with her but 

Have the courage to end it. Don't string anyone along. Relationships are not to babysit for loneliness or using people as security blankets, all the while tormenting them deliberately because you lack the courage and integrity to pull the plug yourself.

[glows]

12 hours ago, kunaka1000 said:

Hello

I am currently with my girlfriend of almost 2years. This has been one of the toughest relationships I have ever been in. For almost 2 years she drained me emotionally, mentally and now physically.

For a while now everything caught up with me and it's like my heart gave up cause I do not feel anything for her. At times I feel like i deliberately sabotage my relationship by causing unnecessary fights without even knowing.

I know I don't love her anymore and I don't want to be with her but I struggle with letting her go.

I am not sure why, every attempt I have tried I have failed and I do not get why. I keep thinking maybe I am afraid of being alone because for the last 7 years I have been in a relationship, one long term one and this current one and both a week apart from ending to starting.

I would love any advice or ways I can just finally let go.

Thank You

I’m also drained reading about your relationship. But first, what are the issues between you both?

Could there be other stresses , ie job losses, unemployment, mental health or health concerns, family pressure?

You already know staying where you don’t belong prolongs the pain. I think you need to go over your reasons for ending it and it also means looking at those issues.

[Happy Lemming]

When a relationship stops being fun and starts being work, you leave.

Life is too short to be miserable.  There are plenty of fish in the sea, time to move on and find the next one.

And when you do find the next person to date/love, you'll be kicking yourself for wasting so much time and effort with the person who is presently causing you angst and strife.

[spiderowl]

On 12/13/2021 at 2:35 AM, kunaka1000 said:

Hello

I am currently with my girlfriend of almost 2years. This has been one of the toughest relationships I have ever been in. For almost 2 years she drained me emotionally, mentally and now physically.

For a while now everything caught up with me and it's like my heart gave up cause I do not feel anything for her. At times I feel like i deliberately sabotage my relationship by causing unnecessary fights without even knowing.

I know I don't love her anymore and I don't want to be with her but I struggle with letting her go.

I am not sure why, every attempt I have tried I have failed and I do not get why. I keep thinking maybe I am afraid of being alone because for the last 7 years I have been in a relationship, one long term one and this current one and both a week apart from ending to starting.

I would love any advice or ways I can just finally let go.

Thank You

Are you hanging on to her for her or for you?  If it is for her, in what way?  If it is for you, why do you need to hang on to her?

[Foxhall]

On 12/13/2021 at 2:35 AM, kunaka1000 said:

I keep thinking maybe I am afraid of being alone because for the last 7 years

Yes I kind of understand your thought process, 

your reluctant to finally pull the plug, your afraid I suppose of the potential loneliness arising out of it,

"I will miss her after shes gone"

I think you have to be brave enough to pull the plug though- it may hurt for a few weeks- but the freedom for both of you to move on will ultimately be a breath of fresh air for both of you.