Angel29 Posted December 13, 2021 Share Posted December 13, 2021 (edited) I went to a meetup group tonight and was having a laugh with a few people I just met. There was a running joke about some of the fake profiles on meetup. I said to one guy as a joke I thought he may have been a fake profile before he came to the event - this is a joke and I never thought that at all. He got really cagey and said there was nothing wrong with his profile. I apologised as I didn't mean anything. I didn't realise he would be offended. There is no way I would want to upset or offend someone. The atmosphere was tense then, as it was near the end of the night he said he isn't stopping out as he is tired, he looked at me and said 'nothing to do with the company'. Now, before this incident he said he was tired anyway. A long time friend said as soon as I said the joke she could see how someone would take it the wrong way and you have to be careful with people you don't know and have just met. I was a member of the group for 3 years and have left it. I have not had anyone fall out like this in the years I have been going to meetup. Looking back over this night it seemed like these people were quite socially awkward. I wish I had not gone now and waited for the next event when my long time friends would have gone as they are not like this and would have laughed. Was it bad I tried to joke? Edited December 13, 2021 by Angel29 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted December 13, 2021 Share Posted December 13, 2021 I didn't know that was a thing - fake profiles on meetup.com of all places. Why would anyone bother doing such a thing. I don't think there was anything wrong with the joke, personally. It was in the moment and you were all talking about fake profiles (how depressing though). You're right. It is awkward. Just let it go. You already apologized. Go to the next meets and have fun. If he wants to be there then let him be there. Please don't worry about this. It will be ok. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpernickel Posted December 13, 2021 Share Posted December 13, 2021 That was not an inappropriate joke. It fit the circumstances and it was funny. What a killjoy, that guy! Don't feel bad! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
IrinaM Posted December 14, 2021 Share Posted December 14, 2021 when someone tells me they thought my profile was fake, i just take it to mean i'm attractive. nobody uses an ugly catfish photo, right? this dude sounds a little nuts and i wouldn't be surprised if he gets offended often. i also tend to replay this sort of stuff in my mind, just like you. but don't do that to yourself. it's okay. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 14, 2021 Share Posted December 14, 2021 12 hours ago, Angel29 said: I went to a meetup group tonight and was having a laugh with a friend said as soon as I said the joke she could see how someone would take it the wrong way and you have to be careful with people you don't know and have just met. Your friend has a point about insinuating people are catfishing. However this guy seems a bit touchy and creepy. No sense of humor. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 14, 2021 Share Posted December 14, 2021 The joke may have been just a bit off-color, but mostly IMO this is a case of people are imperfect and weird. Some people get triggered in ways that have little to do with anything that would bother most reasonable folks, and some people have a tendency to simply "decide" that they don't like someone and act accordingly - they need a social "enemy" for some reason. MANY people in the world have SOME traits of personality disorders (not full blown PDs) that sometimes show up in their thinking and behavior, etc. Since this guy has some sort of issue (not sure what it is) just keep that in mind and avoid him specifically. IF he starts gossiping about you or whatever, hit different meetups. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 On 12/13/2021 at 10:48 PM, Angel29 said: Was it bad I tried to joke? Not at all, I think you were right to try to lighten the mood, dont let that put you off next time- dont get all shy over it, continue to be yourself and better luck next meet. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 I think that joke could have been OK if you'd built a strong friendship/romance and knew where each other's boundaries are. But given that he barely knew you, it's easily to see why he was offended. You basically suggested that he looked untrustworthy. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 On 12/13/2021 at 6:12 PM, Pumpernickel said: That was not an inappropriate joke. It fit the circumstances and it was funny. What a killjoy, that guy! Don't feel bad! This Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 17, 2021 Share Posted December 17, 2021 I dunno. I learned the hard way that self depreciating humour is safer than cracking a joke at someone else's expense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts