forumanon Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 I’ve taken to this forum because I can’t tell anyone I know. I met a man through work who is 27 years older than me. Despite the age gap there was clear chemistry between us and we both knew it. After 4 months of working together he asked me if I had a boyfriend to which I said no. I returned the question, asking him if he had a wife/girlfriend and he said no. We would flirt all day every day, he told me he wants to take me on holiday etc etc, he completely led me on. I then found out from another colleague that he’s married and my heart honestly sank. Despite nothing ever physically happening between us, it was clear how we felt about one another and he flat out lied about his marriage. Couple of weeks later and I’ve quit my job (for a different reason). Today I said goodbye to him and he said I should come back and visit but I know I probably won’t. I just can’t get him out of my head. I wish I mustered up the courage to ask him why he lied to me and led me on. I thought about asking all the time but when push came to shove I would never do it. Idk where to go from here honestly. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Do I go back and just ask him straight up or is that stupid? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 I'm so sorry you got tricked by this sleazy guy. Don't ask him why he lied to you because there's only one reason: He's selfish and doesn't care if it hurts people if it gets his needs met. Sure, he might say things like "I thought you were so great" or "things are bad at home and if you knew the truth, you may not have been interested", and while there could be an element of truth in this, the underlying cause still goes back to him being selfish. From here, take some time to lick your wounds. It's OK to be sad or angry....just don't hold on mourning what happened it so long that it becomes your life. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 (edited) 10 hours ago, forumanon said: . Couple of weeks later and I’ve quit my job Good luck in your new job. Just drop it, since nothing happened. Unfortunately he seems like the workplace wolf. Be glad you're not there anymore. Edited December 22, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author forumanon Posted December 22, 2021 Author Share Posted December 22, 2021 @basil67 thank you for your advice. I know you’re probably right, time is the best healer. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 He is a whole lot older than you, you are a prize to him. He knew, if he told you he was married, he likely had no chance with you. So he lied to try to get what he wanted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 On 12/21/2021 at 3:34 PM, forumanon said: wish I mustered up the courage to ask him why he lied to me and led me on. Do I go back and just ask him straight up or is that stupid? We here at LS can all tell you: He wanted to bang you. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 Learn how to speak your truth. This is something you need to do throughout your lifetime. if needed, work with a therapist to say how you feel to people. it could have looked like “you are married, and chose to lie to me, so please don’t speak to me again…I don’t like liars - stop deceiving women.” it’s something that will help you be happier in life. he’s a schmuck! Link to post Share on other sites
Luna66star Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 Don't give this sleaze bag another thought and don't talk to him. We all know why he lied. He's a predator and a creep. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 (edited) I would absolutely walk away. This is not a man that I would ever chose to associate with -his age, his marital status, and the fact that he came on so strong are all turn offs for me. Edited December 28, 2021 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Myabee Posted December 29, 2021 Share Posted December 29, 2021 On 12/21/2021 at 6:34 PM, forumanon said: I’ve taken to this forum because I can’t tell anyone I know. I met a man through work who is 27 years older than me. Despite the age gap there was clear chemistry between us and we both knew it. After 4 months of working together he asked me if I had a boyfriend to which I said no. I returned the question, asking him if he had a wife/girlfriend and he said no. We would flirt all day every day, he told me he wants to take me on holiday etc etc, he completely led me on. I then found out from another colleague that he’s married and my heart honestly sank. Despite nothing ever physically happening between us, it was clear how we felt about one another and he flat out lied about his marriage. Couple of weeks later and I’ve quit my job (for a different reason). Today I said goodbye to him and he said I should come back and visit but I know I probably won’t. I just can’t get him out of my head. I wish I mustered up the courage to ask him why he lied to me and led me on. I thought about asking all the time but when push came to shove I would never do it. Idk where to go from here honestly. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Do I go back and just ask him straight up or is that stupid? Runnn! Sleazy guy to flat out lie. Sorry this happened to you. Srsly though forget him. Link to post Share on other sites
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