deepthinking Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 (edited) [ ] I am so hurt, nobody else is so critical of me {my scruffy coat, my spending} so her opinions are not all that. I even wondered if she has grown jealous as I am single and she is unhappily married. I gave her one last chance today, but i am already not feeiing like visiting 21 years of friendship. Edited December 22, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 Give it a break then and leave her alone. Don’t accept demeaning and abusive behaviour from those masking as friends. Some people believe they are doing you a favour but if you think it’s inappropriate then find others you can respect and who also in turn respect you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
moniak Posted December 23, 2021 Share Posted December 23, 2021 Sometimes it's needed, who else will tell you this if not your friend. I guess it's about finding the right balance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 23, 2021 Share Posted December 23, 2021 1 minute ago, moniak said: Sometimes it's needed, who else will tell you this if not your friend. People who don't like you are happy to tell you about your faults. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
moniak Posted December 23, 2021 Share Posted December 23, 2021 3 minutes ago, stillafool said: People who don't like you are happy to tell you about your faults. Yes that can also be true. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deepthinking Posted December 23, 2021 Author Share Posted December 23, 2021 5 minutes ago, stillafool said: People who don't like you are happy to tell you about your faults. This is the truth, imho, the "happy" acquaintance is not the same as the worried friend Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted December 23, 2021 Share Posted December 23, 2021 On 12/22/2021 at 7:01 AM, deepthinking said: but i am already not feeiing like visiting 21 years of friendship. Sometimes friendships run their course and are done. Perhaps this is one of those instances... I think we all have had long term friendships that dissolve for "whatever" reason, but (I think a lot of times) these friendships have just run their course and can go no further. We sometimes try to hold on to or resurrect a friendship, when its actually time to fade away and make new and different friends. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author deepthinking Posted December 24, 2021 Author Share Posted December 24, 2021 thanks everybody 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 (edited) I agree with @Happy Lemming. I've changed friends over the years because they just aren't good friends. BUT... before you go down that path... I know people don't like being told they are wrong... but consider the words of your friend. Is there truth to it?? Do you find it offensive because you don't want to hear the truth? Sure... you are (probably ) and adult, and you can spend your money the way you see fit... and you can dress the way you want. But maybe your friend is just trying to help you make better choices. I have a friend that I tell all the time that he shouldn't be spending the $$ on some of the things he does... and he needs to act more like an adult. He gets mad at me about it sometimes... but then there are times he has a hard time paying bills. A couple years ago, I stopped talking to him about money to keep the friendship alive, but just last month, he was telling me about not having enough money for Christmas. The conversation that then came up was I'm tired of hearing about it because he always got mad at me when I tried to direct him to make the right choices. Also, one of my female friends has been in an affair for a long time. (6 or 7 years) it has gotten to a point where she doesn't care, and her H knows. Her H is a good guy, and she blames him for everything... but I've tried to tell her that he isn't bad, he has given up. (Neither one will go file) Also, she has 2 young kids (8 and 12) And she will take off for a couple days with her AP, and is surprised that her H and folks yell at her for "Abandoning her family". I've been listening to this for years, and I've told her she needs to make a choice... but either way... her kids are her kids, and she needs to be there for them. She gets mad at me for trying to be the voice of reason.... so I've stopped. Just recently, we had lunch, and she was crying about how she's "Not a bad person".... And I really wanted to grab her and say.... "Yes you are !!!" Because that is the truth. But instead, I just didn't say anything. (because she doesn't want to hear the truth) Anyway... it's sad to see a long friendship fall apart.... but consider if it's the case of you just not wanting to hear the truth. Edited December 24, 2021 by Blind-Sided Link to post Share on other sites
Author deepthinking Posted December 26, 2021 Author Share Posted December 26, 2021 (edited) On 12/24/2021 at 12:48 PM, Blind-Sided said: I agree with @Happy Lemming. I've changed friends over the years because they just aren't good friends. BUT... before you go down that path... I know people don't like being told they are wrong... but consider the words of your friend. Is there truth to it?? Do you find it offensive because you don't want to hear the truth? Sure... you are (probably ) and adult, and you can spend your money the way you see fit... and you can dress the way you want. But maybe your friend is just trying to help you make better choices. I have a friend that I tell all the time that he shouldn't be spending the $$ on some of the things he does... and he needs to act more like an adult. He gets mad at me about it sometimes... but then there are times he has a hard time paying bills. A couple years ago, I stopped talking to him about money to keep the friendship alive, but just last month, he was telling me about not having enough money for Christmas. The conversation that then came up was I'm tired of hearing about it because he always got mad at me when I tried to direct him to make the right choices. Also, one of my female friends has been in an affair for a long time. (6 or 7 years) it has gotten to a point where she doesn't care, and her H knows. Her H is a good guy, and she blames him for everything... but I've tried to tell her that he isn't bad, he has given up. (Neither one will go file) Also, she has 2 young kids (8 and 12) And she will take off for a couple days with her AP, and is surprised that her H and folks yell at her for "Abandoning her family". I've been listening to this for years, and I've told her she needs to make a choice... but either way... her kids are her kids, and she needs to be there for them. She gets mad at me for trying to be the voice of reason.... so I've stopped. Just recently, we had lunch, and she was crying about how she's "Not a bad person".... And I really wanted to grab her and say.... "Yes you are !!!" Because that is the truth. But instead, I just didn't say anything. (because she doesn't want to hear the truth) Anyway... it's sad to see a long friendship fall apart.... but consider if it's the case of you just not wanting to hear the truth. You are an advocate for the truth, okay - so why get the mods to remove the truths I told you? Edited December 26, 2021 by deepthinking Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, deepthinking said: You are an advocate for the truth, okay - so why get the mods to remove the truths I told you? I didn't. [ ] But that also goes back to only seeing one side. You assumed I had your post edited simply because you didn't like what I had to say. Edited December 26, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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