The Three Tiers of Dating and Sexual Market Value

[GuitarGuy7]

Top Tier:

The top tier are those that have dating fairly easy; they're the chads, the stacys, the young attractive women, the tall good looking successful men, etc... Finding a partner is fairly easy for people in this category and they typically have many romantic or sex partners during their lifetime, especially if they choose to live a promiscuous lifestyle. Those in this category can find hookups or one night stands without much difficulty and would be successful in an environment such as Tinder or the bar where looks are paramount to your success. Many in the top tier rarely get rejected and when they do, it doesn't phase them since they can find someone else fairly quickly. I would estimate that the top 10% of men and the top 25% of women fall into this category. More women fall into the top tier because dating in general is easier for them, especially if they're under 30 and attractive. However with age, many eventually fall off of the top tier.


Middle or Normie Tier:

The middle or normie tier are the normal people with normal level difficulty when it comes to dating. Dating isn't easy but it isn't super hard either. Unlike the top tier, those in this category typically have to work to be successful in dating and can usually eventually find success, even if it's not as frequent as those in the top tier. Most have their first partner and lose their virginity at a relatively typical age (16-21) and many go on to have a couple partners throughout their lifetime. For men in the normie tier, they can occasionally find a one night stand from a bar or a hookup from online dating if they're lucky, but not as frequent as those in the top tier. I would say 80% of men and 70% of women fall into the middle or normie tier.


Bottom Tier:

Finally, the third and bottom tier are those that have dating on hard mode and have it harder than the average person. Most people in the bottom tier have a series of negative flaws which makes dating harder than average, sometimes even significantly harder than average. Those in the bottom tier are much more likely to wind up virgins at older ages or remain celibate for a long time. Many men in this tier become incels or misogynistic due to repeated failures with women. However, some get lucky and manage to escape and go on to have a meaningful relationship, although most in this category will likely never be successful in the hookup/one night stand department. The majority of incels, foreveraloners, and 25+ virgins by circumstances fall into this category. I would estimate that the bottom 10% of men and the bottom 5% women fall into this category. 

[Taramere]

Do you have a particular question you want people to chip in with answers to?

[Foxhall]

5 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

Most people in the bottom tier have a series of negative flaws which makes dating harder than average, s

Probably middle tier myself- not to bad I suppose,

From what you have said before your putting yourself in the bottom tier I presume,

what I highlighted there - its a mental thing as much as anything, if you are bogged down believing you have negative flaws it is hard to get out of the rut,

You mentioned before also that you make a fair amount of money-perhaps use that to think more positively about yourself and that you are a guy in demand,

one thing about the bottom tier is "the only way is up"

hmmn that was a song I think (a bit before your time)

 

[Happy Lemming]

6 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

The top tier are those that have dating fairly easy; they're the chads...

So be a "Chad"... 

When I was "coming of age" I watched the "Chad"(s) at the bar.  I saw what they did and how they did it (to become successful with women).  Initially, I copied or imitated what these "Chad"'s did and eventually developed my own game/skillz.

Do you have any game/skillz with women??  Do you have the ability to "chit-chat" with a woman at a bar or public venue??

Are you afraid of rejection??  If you are... you'll need to get over it.  Every guy out there has been rejected or "shot down".  And yes the first couple of rejections "sting" a bit, but after a few times; it rolls off of you like "water off a duck's back".

For me... I enjoyed dating in my youth, it was FUN!!  I met a lot of interesting women, as well. I enjoyed the excitement of dating someone new and have quite a few good memories!!

You can too!!!

[chillii]

Omg tiers now , 3 of them no less all neatly pigeon holed, and it's a market and there's labels and percentages and oh Jezuz. Man l just feel sorry for people out there these days that take any notice of all the bs. No wonder they're having problems.

OP, it's as simple as this for anyone. If you meet someone you like and you feel your compatible , she or he either likes him or her back , or they don't . There's single models and millionaires actors and actresses and people from any walk of life that have the same troubles, plenty of any of these people have had terrible love lives, it's the same for anyone it doesn't matter what we are. We all need to find that one we feel that way about and that feels it back , for it to go anywhere.

Edited December 23, 2021 by chillii

[Wiseman2]

16 minutes ago, chillii said:

Omg tiers now , 3 of them no less all neatly pigeon holed, and it's a market and there's labels and percentages. Man l just feel sorry for people out there these days that take any notice of all the bs. No wonder they're having problems.

OP, it's as simple as this for anyone. If you meet someone you like and you feel your compatible , she or he either likes him or her back , or they don't .

Agree. Just do your best at being your best. Buying into this incels mentality will only further deepen your despair.

[GuitarGuy7]

4 hours ago, Taramere said:

Do you have a particular question you want people to chip in with answers to?

Yeah. How do I become a chad?  

[clia]

21 minutes ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

Yeah. How do I become a chad?  

Stop using expressions like chad, stacy,  normie, incel, and foreveraloner.  Get off Reddit.  Make yourself the best you can be -- get a nice haircut, get in shape, use good hygiene, have a great personality, be funny, be smart, have money, be the kind of guy women want to be around, get some interesting hobbies, have friends, go to parties, be social, try new things, have an open mind, etc.  The reality is that most people are able to find another person to partner up with.  You only need to find one -- you don't need to find thousands.  

[Alpacalia]

This is depressing.

How does a false currency and warped view of sexuality have a place in measuring human worth?

[elaine567]

23 minutes ago, clia said:

You only need to find one -- you don't need to find thousands.  

^^^ this.

[Happy Lemming]

1 hour ago, clia said:

Get off Reddit.  Make yourself the best you can be -- get a nice haircut, get in shape, use good hygiene, have a great personality, be funny, be smart, have money, be the kind of guy women want to be around, get some interesting hobbies, have friends, go to parties, be social, try new things, have an open mind, etc.  The reality is that most people are able to find another person to partner up with.

This advice is spot on...

(provided you are not in a pandemic lock down) You need to go out 3 times a week to a bar/pub/public venue and talk to people.  Listen to idle chit-chat of others, smile, be engaging, etc. In order to date a woman, she has to be interested in you, she has to want to hear the next thing that is going to come out of your mouth.  She'll be curious/intrigued by you, so she'll say "yes" to a date and a second date, etc.

[AngryGromit]

i do not believe the tiers are static. Interest in you can go up or down depending on health, income, availability.  I know a girl at work, she's very pretty but way over weight. If she lost the weight, she be a 8 or 9, but  add a 100 pounds to her frame her desirability drops significantly. Then look at Mick Jagger, he wasn't exactly gifted in the looks department, but he was able to date several models. If it wasn't for his money or fame, they wouldn't have given him a second glance. Then there's availability, as all her friends get married and start having children, she may be more willing to over look some imperfections in potential mates, cause the dating pool for singles without children her age is shrinking.   

Edited December 23, 2021 by AngryGromit

[Taramere]

1 hour ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

Yeah. How do I become a chad?  

Well, in your opening post you described a chad as being tall, good looking and successful.  If you're tall, then you have that covered.  If you aren't tall then that's one aspect of being a chad that you'll have to rule out.  Good looking...well, that's usually defined in terms of somebody having symmetrical(ish) features and a physically healthy appearance.  Clia's given you some pointers of practical things you can do to improve your personal presentation.  Successful?  We all want to be that.  The way most people seem to achieve success is to find something they're good at (or enjoy doing enough to put a lot of practice into getting better at it), focus on doing that thing - and maybe benefit financially and/or socially from doing it.

[mark clemson]

Like most of these generalizations, there's a certain amount of truth to this "layout". There's also exceptions, and "mobility" - I suppose a "gigachad" could become a normie or even a "bottom tier" after something as simple (yet life changing) as a major car accident. There is also natural change as we grow and mature and later age and die, which can have much the same effect.

There is the concept/practice of working within your tier, as well as moving up, although I suppose these things are sometimes easier said than done. I'm also quite sure there are plenty of people in the world, at various tiers, who've never thought about things this way and simply gone about their lives without considering other "tiers" or how good or bad others might have it and who either manage to find love and relationships or don't.

I think if I considered myself a "bottom tier" I would shoot for/work on become a "normie" rather than a chad, and perhaps work from there. 

GG, I've written various posts on ways one can help make oneself attractive to woman, and I presume you've read them. Happy to repost/link to a recent one if you like. I certainly concede it's easier said than done.

Edited December 23, 2021 by mark clemson

[lana-banana]

What a positively exhausting way of looking at the world. How about doing your best to be healthy and happy (including exercise, focusing on self-esteem, and treating others with respect) and going from there? It's not normal or proper to think about people in terms of their "sexual market value" (which is also not a real thing). 

[Els]

1 hour ago, lana-banana said:

What a positively exhausting way of looking at the world. How about doing your best to be healthy and happy (including exercise, focusing on self-esteem, and treating others with respect) and going from there? It's not normal or proper to think about people in terms of their "sexual market value" (which is also not a real thing). 

Gosh, for real. Believing in this sort of schmuck sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy if there ever was one... because nobody who would actually make a good partner would WANT a partner who believes this crap.

Like, if someone was having a hard time dating, you'd think they'd listen to regular people who have happy relationships with other regular people, rather than to a bunch of other unsuccessful people screaming into the echo chamber of r/TheRedPill (or wherever it is those dudes went after that subreddit got removed)....

[bene]

4 hours ago, clia said:

You only need to find one -- you don't need to find thousands

This is a very wise observation and I don’t think people who lament about not being universally attractive don’t give it enough thought. While dating is a numbers game in the beginning (getting dates), it will eventually come down to just one person and how you click with her. And in selecting this one person you can be a supermodel and still get it wrong.

[Trail Blazer]

I believe that most people can find someone to date eventually.  For some, it takes a lot more effort than for others, for obvious reasons. 

For OLD, looks matter most in terms of your ability to succeed.  The 80/20 rule is seemingly a real phenomena which is backed up by a lot of anecdotal evidence from males who've posted here and elsewhere.

When removing OLD from the equation, I have seen many instances where people (generally men) have dated above their league.  Whilst looks are subjective, men can offset their looks somewhat by possessing other traits which women find attractive.

It is my view that men have more scope to increasing their level of attractiveness to women by possessing "alpha traits" like being able to lead other men, being successful alin their career, commanding respect in social settings, etc.

The teirs which you describe, OP, are very broad and general.  Yes, in the case of OLD, they do ring true to a large degree.  However, outside of the OLD wall, the scope for a man to land women changes dramatically if that man has other attractive qualities besides looks.

[Weezy1973]

There are literally hierarchies in practically every aspect of life. Due to both genetic differences and environmental differences. 
 

Some people for example are on the autism spectrum and have a really hard time socializing in general. This is going to make it harder for them to date. Doesn’t mean it’s impossible and many do end up dating and marrying albeit later in life than average. 
 

The mistake is thinking your destiny is set and can’t change. Just because for whatever reason you find something difficult, doesn’t mean you can’t overcome it. 

[chillii]

7 hours ago, Alpaca said:

This is depressing.

How does a false currency and warped view of sexuality have a place in measuring human worth?

Haaaa , exactly.

And wth would you even wanna be one of those chads whatever th they are anyway . Your you , you wanna meet someone , then that's the only person you can be for it to go anywhere real. Maybe that's the problem you have , maybe too busy looking outward and at everyone else instead of in .

[Happy Lemming]

2 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

Just because for whatever reason you find something difficult, doesn’t mean you can’t overcome it. 

I think you may have stumbled across the key issue here.

Perhaps the OP finds the process of introducing himself, chit-chatting and getting a date with a woman to be difficult, while these "Chad" individuals seem to have no difficulty and it appears they do it with ease.  Hopefully, the OP will chime in and let us know (if that is the case).

I can assure you that the process of getting a date was difficult for every "Chad" out there, but they honed their game/skillz and became more relaxed and better at it (with practice).

 

[elaine567]

3 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

The teirs which you describe, OP, are very broad and general.  Yes, in the case of OLD, they do ring true to a large degree.  However, outside of the OLD wall, the scope for a man to land women changes dramatically if that man has other attractive qualities besides looks.

The tiers as described do not concentrate solely on looks.
I have known guys and girls who are good looking who are also vacuous, awkward. shy and belong in tier three and I have also known people who are tremendously social, highly intelligent, personable,  have the gift of the gab, and can charm the birds off the trees and belong in tier one despite being pretty ugly or mediocre in looks.

Truth is it isn't all so black and white.
One can learn to be charming, one can educate oneself, one can lead an interesting life... or one can get stuck down a rabbit hole... going nowhere...
Women will always tend to bypass boring, depressed negative guys...

 

[Lotsgoingon]

There is nothing insightful about this. We could just as well use standard statistics and say most of us cluster around the mean average--for whatever quality or cluster of qualities you want to choose. 

This hierarhy seems to assume the goal of everyone is to be able to engage in hookups. That's clearly not the case. 

[Alpacalia]

A value-based approach is depressing considering how people are treated differently as they age, whether they are men or women.

How many times do we visit grandma?

The characteristics of love and appreciation are gratitude, encouragement, motivation, and respect, among others.

All of these are worthwhile considerations.

[mark clemson]

37 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Truth is it isn't all so black and white.

Women will always tend to bypass boring, depressed negative guys...

It's true that looks can be important, it's definitely ALSO true that they aren't the be-all end-all, particularly once you get past the immediate initial attraction stage. I suspect TB would agree as well as he seemed to be focused on OLD specifically, where perhaps looks are even more important?

I think that if you are unattractive looks-wise that tends to make it more difficult to generate the initial interest that might lead to more. Personality or perhaps even mannerisms might have the same effect, particularly a little later into the game.

Anyhow, I'd "awkward" and "clingy" to your list. I think women like men who at least appear confident and emotionally secure.

More generally, I suspect that people on the supposed "low end" may be more keenly aware of these levels than others. To their minds (and I think there's some basis in reality to it) "most other people are at least getting some attention. I get none." I think if you are "normal" and so every so often someone comes along for you, it seems sensible to be laissez-faire, whereas if you NEVER get ANY interest, one begins asking why that might be.

And so you have "incel" types coming up with folk models of attraction such as the above as well as "blackpill" (vs. red and blue) which is an even more extreme version of the above.

Edited December 23, 2021 by mark clemson