Money problems

[yabsanefse]

right now im just living with my mom and my 2 sisters my dad has been gone for almost a year now in another country building a home there for us a bigger one nothing compared to the one we live in now in the U.S we live in a 2 room condo, my sisters used to share a room with me but as i got older it didint feel right anymore so they sleep with my mom now and i have my own room. The main point right now tho is my mom has money problems without my dad here to help with work its hard for her alone and it shows. I try as much as possible to not make her buy anything for me unless i really need it. she wasn't really able to get us anything this Christmas so its just a tree with 2 warped presents for my sisters from my uncle and aunt. I feel really bad that i dont help her out at home with dishes and cleaning,and its no excuse but with everything going on right now and my own personal problems im just depressed in my room all day on my laptop watching movies and eating. Im still 2 years away from getting a job so i cant help her financially and im not really helping her around physically either. I dont even know what to feel thb i feel bad that i dont feel anything.

[glows]

Go outside and chat with her. Try not to overwhelm yourself with all the things you might be doing. Wish her Merry Christmas and give her a hug, wish your sisters also. Do you have any board games? My brothers and I were very nutty about the board games. Maybe we were too competitive but knew each other too well so despite our best efforts it was more often a disappointing tie. It was fun though. 

Just being outside in the living area might change your spirits. Go on and talk with them. 

[Happy Lemming]

47 minutes ago, yabsanefse said:

 Im still 2 years away from getting a job so i cant help her financially

I'm assuming from this statement that you are a teenager. 

As an under age teenager, it is not your job to worry about the family's finances.  Your father should have made provisions for his family's care before he left to go build the new home.  It's called planning and budgeting.  Before leaving he should have had a plan in place for taking care of all of the family's basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, health care).  How very selfish of him to leave your mother and 3 minor children in this situation. 

With proper funding, it should only take a few months to build a home... not a year.  Are you sure he has not abandoned you, your mom and your sisters??

With that said... there isn't any reason you couldn't help your mother with some household chores and make her life a little easier.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, yabsanefse said:

right now im just living with my mom and my 2 sisters my dad has been gone for almost a year now in another country building a home there for us.

Can your family go to social services if you lack food, clothing and healthcare? It sounds like your father abandoned you if he's not sending money home. 

[yabsanefse]

9 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

I'm assuming from this statement that you are a teenager. 

As an under age teenager, it is not your job to worry about the family's finances.  Your father should have made provisions for his family's care before he left to go build the new home.  It's called planning and budgeting.  Before leaving he should have had a plan in place for taking care of all of the family's basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, health care).  How very selfish of him to leave your mother and 3 minor children in this situation. 

Yeah im 14. And im mad he left without any vision of what our future would look like without him being there honestly i dont know when and if hes even going to come back. Also it take more time than a few months building a home in the area hes doing it in because of there limited supplies. I do try to help my mom out as much as i can with things im capable of doing but im not really making a difference. 

[yabsanefse]

9 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Can your family go to social services if you lack food, clothing and healthcare? It sounds like your father abandoned you if he's not sending money home. 

Yeah our situation isnt that bad we can still afford those things we have not turned to help from anyone else but whats setting us back is that my mom has to send around half of what she makes to my dad so he can continue with construction. the reason for that is because the area hes in the currency is lower so 1 U.S dollar is about $50 (birr) and my mom makes about $3K a month she send $1,500 to him and he would have almost S100K (birr). And yes he can send us money from there but hes not making any and even if he was and he were to send money it would be worthless in the U.S.

[yabsanefse]

10 hours ago, glows said:

Go outside and chat with her. Try not to overwhelm yourself with all the things you might be doing. Wish her Merry Christmas and give her a hug, wish your sisters also. Do you have any board games? My brothers and I were very nutty about the board games. Maybe we were too competitive but knew each other too well so despite our best efforts it was more often a disappointing tie. It was fun though. 

Just being outside in the living area might change your spirits. Go on and talk with them. 

yeah we do have borad games and a bunch of other things to do but we dont really do them alot together. tbh im not really that close with my mom like i didn't grow up on hugs or any of that loving stuff and its weird whenever i do give her a hug every now and then. same thing my my dad but worse iv never really liked him he always had a fixed mindset and thought he was the only right one and decisions like that are what landed us in this situation in the first place. but we figured it out today and talked stuff out over dinner.

[Happy Lemming]

14 hours ago, yabsanefse said:

Also it take more time than a few months building a home in the area hes doing it in because of there limited supplies.

Yes, this was a bad time to start construction (supply chain problems). 

I am hopeful you will be able to rejoin your father soon.  I am sure you miss him, greatly.

 

 

[NoT8000]

Have you spoken with your mother about possibly reducing the amount of money which she sends to him? Perhaps it’s possible for her to keep a little bit more of the money she earns in order to meet the financial needs of you and your sisters.