Is this normal behaviour for an ex girlfriend (2 weeks since break up)

[MiiightyBeast]

She broke it off with me around 2 weeks ago. It was quite toxic from both sides at times but we did love each other and had plenty of good times.

 

She ended it, literally slept at her best girlfriends house for 8 days straight. 3 days after breakup, she blocked me on all social media because she said she couldn't keep seeing my name pop up. She's been partying, drinking, smoking weed, she slept with a guy at a party at hers about 4 days ago, drunk. Her friends have written on a whiteboard in her room, highlighting everything I did wrong, all my flaws and behaviours as a reminder. All while never taking accountability for her own mistakes. A week ago, she said she still loved me and still had feelings for me. She has depression and is on anti depressants.

 

I know it's none of my business and I shouldn't care but is she trying really hard to distract herself from me? She unfriended my mum on Facebook out of the blue, maybe because she thinks I'd use her to spy on her. She's changed all her privacy settings on Facebook also. Like, she did just as equally wrong, yet I'm being punished?

 

I'm trying to understand where her mental health is at? Is this just a rebound, is she trying to throw all the blame on me to make herself feel better?

 

I want her back, I've been working on myself. I sent her a merry Christmas text with no reply. I'm not sure if my number is blocked and the only way to find out is to call it and I don't want to do that.

 

At the start of the break up, she was saying "I feel like this is the right decision for both of us", I don't see us getting back together, your not going to change etc etc

 

But said she still loved and cared about me. I haven't heard from her in 5 days.

 

Does she need space? Does she need to go through this toxic phase? Is she rebounding in order to avoid the hurt and pain? Is she distancing herself from me in order to move on? Is she missing me right now? 

 

My head is ready to explode.

[glows]

It seems she wants to move on and is motivated to distance herself from you.

The break up also appears final. This isn’t a bid for attention. You may be in shock. This does not appear like a toxic phase. Don’t minimize her choice not to be with you and hold judgement about how she chooses to process the end of the relationship. As painful as it is, she is entitled to that choice - to remain in the relationship or break up. 

Removing any of your friends or family from her social media and you too are all appropriate ways to adjust after a break up. You both owe each other nothing once a relationship is over. 

[MiiightyBeast]

Thanks for the response Glow.

I understand that, but why say she still loves me and has feelings for me?

It was a 3 year relationship so we have known each other for some time and been through alot together.

Her best friend hates me and also wrote on the white board putting me down.

How can she cheat, talk to guy, hide messages but I seem like the bad guy here? Yes, I was somewhat abusive because some og the trust was gone from what she was doing. She did say mutiple times, she needed space to heal and work on herself.

 

[glows]

All that matters is she doesn’t want to be with you. It’s a good idea to respect that.

 

[elaine567]

9 hours ago, MiiightyBeast said:

At the start of the break up, she was saying "I feel like this is the right decision for both of us", I don't see us getting back together, your not going to change etc etc

But said she still loved and cared about me. I haven't heard from her in 5 days.

She doesn't hate you, but she doesn't see any way forward with you so has ended it.

When did she cheat?
 

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, MiiightyBeast said:

At the start of the break up, she was saying "I feel like this is the right decision for both of us", I don't see us getting back together, your not going to change etc.

Sorry this is happening. What was the breakup about? What were you supposed to change? Did you live together?

Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 

After 3 years you know each other and tried to make it work, but she doesn't want to reconcile this time.