Rocky Marriage

[Married2013]

Hello,

 

I'm losing my patience with my husband. He messed up once and we went to counseling together. At the time he didn't want to go and nothing seemed to change. A year or so ago we went back but all the counselor cared about was our sex life and not any of the problems I would bring up. I decided I would work on myself since our martial issues imo stem from my husband's personal problems and I knew I had issues of my own as well. I encouraged him to talk to a therapist in hopes he will at least try. It has now been maybe 3 months and probably 4 sessions and I see no growth or change. First month He said his counselor gave him a recommendation on marriage books we should read. I was upset. My 1st month I got on meds for my depression and anxiety.

For some clarification, my husband does not help with chores and I always have to parent our two kids. He has gained a rather alarming drinking habit since 2020 (drinking every day) and will sleep all day until 1pm after staying up playing games until 2am. We both work. But I find I'm doing all the family work as well as my job. I am also in school.

Today he pushed for counseling again after he neglected to put our kids to bed which led to a fight. (Kids were in bed arguing and I had to separate them while he did nothing. Then he criticized the fact I separated them)

He said I don't care about his feelings and expect him to be superman. I expect him to do the bare minimum. Earlier today he "went for a walk" Aka walked down to a local bar. Brought it up during our argument to claim I didn't care. It isn't that I didn't care, but that I expected him to do as such and had I frowned upon it he would've gotten mad. 

I feel like he expects me to help him solve his problems which I can't do. I'm not a professional and he also never shares his feelings. He expects me to just ask when I don't see hints of something wrong. 

I wanted him to go to counseling alone to fix his problems. Instead It seems like he just wants to and does blame me for all his problems.

Is there a way to get someone to see they clearly have depression and need to address it rather than blame others?