Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 56 minutes ago, vla1120 said: He's flaky. If he does have a girlfriend, then he is cheating on her. You had red flags in the beginning about him looking scary and creepy. I'd take a hard pass on him. What do you mean by flaky??? He doesn't have a girlfriend. He dates around but hasn't made anyone exclusive. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 4 hours ago, carliciaaaa said: When he ghosted me and had no decency to even reply back, why all this pretense? What pretense? He isn't really doing anything, OP. I think you're reading too much into it. I don't get the impression he's interested any longer. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 He's treating you in a way which I imagine he would treat anyone else who he runs into: being friendly. He's not doing anything wrong. I think it would be ruder if he ignored you outright. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: He's treating you in a way which I imagine he would treat anyone else who he runs into: being friendly. He's not doing anything wrong. I think it would be ruder if he ignored you outright. He doesn't talk to anyone. He is very aloof, cold and he doesn't even talk to his colleagues. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 OK, that may be the case. But it's still hard to fault him for being friendly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 9 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: What pretense? He isn't really doing anything, OP. I think you're reading too much into it. I don't get the impression he's interested any longer. I'm not reading much into anything. For someone who decided to no longer pursue me and not reply to meet up, he has no reason to be friendly with me when he's a very aloof and cold person who doesn't talk to anyone. Him not replying to my message was clearly a sign of not taking things further. He doesn't have to do anything like this. It's him who has restarted this when I stopped talking to him completely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 2 minutes ago, basil67 said: OK, that may be the case. But it's still hard to fault him for being friendly. Friendly for what? We aren't friends. When he ghosted me, he already cut all possibilities. I stopped texting him and he began eavesdropping and now being friendly for some odd reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 3 minutes ago, carliciaaaa said: Him not replying to my message was clearly a sign of not taking things further. Exactly. That's why it's time to delete and block him and simply be polite. No more, no less. You need to forget about him and move forward in peace. Surely there's other men to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Exactly. That's why it's time to delete and block him and simply be polite. No more, no less. You need to forget about him and move forward in peace. Surely there's other men to date. If I block him, there is no turning back though. He will know I blocked him and it's humiliating so he definitely will stop talking 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 Just now, carliciaaaa said: He doesn't talk to anyone. He is very aloof, cold and he doesn't even talk to his colleagues. What attracted you to such a man? Such men are not the path to a happy and fulfilling life, recalibrate your picker 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Coasting1991 Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 OP, is it possible that he's on campus more because it's a new semester/quarter and his classes dictate it? Regardless, you're reading too much in to all of this. If you bump in to him again, just be cordial, say hello if you'd like, and move on with your day. Don't worry about ghosting etc. If you don't want to block him, then just clear your chat to get it off of your phone and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 40 minutes ago, elaine567 said: What attracted you to such a man? Such men are not the path to a happy and fulfilling life, recalibrate your picker I just felt he was a shy and introverted guy. I didn't know what he was actually like Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 5 hours ago, carliciaaaa said: We aren't friends and I wasnt talking to him. He came up and started talking to me. He had already ghosted me by not replying. He has no reason to chat with me after he didn't reply to my message after the date. Have you even read the whole thread? Yes I've read your thread. To me he came up and chatted with you to let you know he doesn't have hard feelings against you even though he ghosted you; but to be cordial and nice so it won't be awkward when he runs into you. Just because he didn't want to date you is no reason to be mean to you. He's trying to be nice. If it bothers you so much look the other way when he approaches you so he won't do it again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, carliciaaaa said: I'm not reading much into anything. For someone who decided to no longer pursue me and not reply to meet up, he has no reason to be friendly with me when he's a very aloof and cold person who doesn't talk to anyone. Him not replying to my message was clearly a sign of not taking things further. He doesn't have to do anything like this. It's him who has restarted this when I stopped talking to him completely. Who knows? Maybe this is how he treats the girls he rejects. The point is you're no longer interested, he isn't pursuing you so other than speaking to you no harm was done and not worth all the frustration over him. You're right he didn't reply to your message because he doesn't want to date you but that doesn't mean he thinks you're so horrible he can't even speak to you in public. I too think it would have been even more upsetting for you if he completely ignored you and acted as if you didn't exist. You seem angry that because he didn't want to take things further with you he has no right to speak when he sees you. Edited January 18, 2022 by stillafool 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 (edited) 11 minutes ago, stillafool said: Who knows? Maybe this is how he treats the girls he rejects. The point is you're no longer interested, he isn't pursuing you so other than speaking to you no harm was done and not worth all the frustration over him. You're right he didn't reply to your message because he doesn't want to date you but that doesn't mean he thinks you're so horrible he can't even speak to you in public. I too think it would have been even more upsetting for you if he completely ignored you and acted as if you didn't exist. You seem angry that because he didn't want to take things further with you he has no right to speak when he sees you. He has no right to speak to me when he ghosted me. Because he only wanted sexual things with me hence he was suggesting the 1 week getaway and when he realised it wouldn't happen, he ghosted me. That is not being cordial. Now he's pretending to be nice and friendly instead of apologetic and honest over what his true intentions were. Edited January 18, 2022 by carliciaaaa Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 19 minutes ago, stillafool said: Yes I've read your thread. To me he came up and chatted with you to let you know he doesn't have hard feelings against you even though he ghosted you; but to be cordial and nice so it won't be awkward when he runs into you. Just because he didn't want to date you is no reason to be mean to you. He's trying to be nice. If it bothers you so much look the other way when he approaches you so he won't do it again. Ghosting is rude and not cordial or nice lol. So you are saying ghosting someone is not nice but then pretending to chat is nice? For what? He can easily ignore and that's better than this nonsensical drama he's doing Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 5 minutes ago, carliciaaaa said: He has no right to speak to me when he ghosted me. Because he only wanted sexual things with me hence he was suggesting the 1 week getaway and when he realised it wouldn't happen, he ghosted me. That is not being cordial. Well tell him he has no right to speak to you the next time you see him and to not do it again. He may have wanted sex to begin with but at least changed his mind and didn't have sex with you and then ghost. Just sayin. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 (edited) 5 minutes ago, stillafool said: Well tell him he has no right to speak to you the next time you see him and to not do it again. He may have wanted sex to begin with but at least changed his mind and didn't have sex with you and then ghost. Just sayin. He didn't change his mind. He lost patience and couldn't keep his act. And because I wouldn't go to the cottage in another town with him when I barely knew him on the first date. During the 2nd date also he was looking at my legs. Because he had no desire to actually get to know me, he ghosted when he realized that I was more interested in getting to know each other than initiate something physical with him. This is not a sign of a nice person. Edited January 18, 2022 by carliciaaaa Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 3 minutes ago, carliciaaaa said: he ghosted when he realized that I was more interested in getting to know each other than initiate something physical with him. This is all you need to know to put him in your rear view mirror. Why did you unblock him after havinig blocked him previously? What made you unblock this awful man according to you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 13 minutes ago, carliciaaaa said: Ghosting is rude and not cordial or nice lol. So you are saying ghosting someone is not nice but then pretending to chat is nice? For what? He can easily ignore and that's better than this nonsensical drama he's doing No I'm not saying anything except trying to offer explanations why he "ghosted" you and then was "cordial" when he saw you in person. It's not like he was really even trying to carry on a concversation, just a "Hi, how are you, see you soon" which is more cordial. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 (edited) 10 minutes ago, stillafool said: This is all you need to know to put him in your rear view mirror. Why did you unblock him after havinig blocked him previously? What made you unblock this awful man according to you? Because I felt it would be childish and he would feel happy thinking I got triggered by his "rejection". Also I still wanted to give him a benefit of the doubt until I saw this drama he's now pulling. When I was leaving, he was waving at me too. Instead of being honest , he's acting like nothing happened. Who knows what his actual intentions are now. Whether he still wants to keep his options open because he clearly has no decency to reply with honesty. Then why should I believe he's being nice now? I ve already removed his number, chats. What bothers me is that he can't get away either treating me like this. Edited January 18, 2022 by carliciaaaa Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 3 minutes ago, stillafool said: No I'm not saying anything except trying to offer explanations why he "ghosted" you and then was "cordial" when he saw you in person. It's not like he was really even trying to carry on a concversation, just a "Hi, how are you, see you soon" which is more cordial. Let me tell you that when he first didn't reply to me, he waved and winked at me then when I went over to him, after he was mouthing something from afar, he didn't even greet me and seemed really cold. It's only after me not texting him, that he began eavesdropping and then this Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 4 minutes ago, carliciaaaa said: When I was leaving, he was waving at me too. Instead of being honest , he's acting like nothing happened. To be fair, nothing did happen. The two of you chatted a bit, found that you wanted different things and that was the end of that. Is it really worth getting bent out of shape because he stopped responding to private messages with you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 18, 2022 Share Posted January 18, 2022 Just now, carliciaaaa said: Because I felt it would be childish and he would feel happy raining I got triggered by his "rejection". Also I still wanted to give him a benefit of the doubt until I saw this drama he's now pulling. When I was leaving, he was waving at me too. Instead of being honest , he's acting like nothing happened. Who knows what his actual intentions are now. Whether he still wants to keep his options open because he clearly has no decency to reply with honesty. Then why should I believe he's being nice now? I ve already removed his number, chats. Ehst bothers me is that he can't get away either treating me like this. 1- Maybe he felt it would be childish not to speak to you when he saw you in person. Like I said, just because he doesn't want to date, have sex with you doesn't mean he can't speak when he sees you. You do go to the same school. Again, if it bothers you tell him not to speak to you. 2- What is it you want him to be honest about? His lack of interest? He did that when he didn't reply to you. That meant he's not interested. 3-I don't think he has anymore intentions for you; and he's a young college man so he has plenty of options. So do you so stop obsessing over this guy and go for others. 4-Good you've removed his number and chats. Hopefully put this behind you. Try not to look at this as him getting away with treating you badly. He just was not that interested. We don't always get the one we want. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author carliciaaaa Posted January 18, 2022 Author Share Posted January 18, 2022 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: To be fair, nothing did happen. The two of you chatted a bit, found that you wanted different things and that was the end of that. Is it really worth getting bent out of shape because he stopped responding to private messages with you? We didn't find we wanted different things. He never made it clear what he wanted. He was acting like he wanted a relationship based on how he asked me how long is my visa for etc, trying to give hugs until he mentioned the 1 week break to a secluded cottage, and looking at my bare legs, etc. He could have said he wanted a casual fwb arrangement but he didn't Link to post Share on other sites
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