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Should I leave because I'm no good


Yellowcurtain43

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Yellowcurtain43

Relationship 7yrs. On/off throughout but lived together for 6yrs. No children together but we have a son each from previous relationships. 

 

I'm hot headed and fiery. I love my job and I'm very driven. 

He's more laid back and chilled out guy. 

We've had intimacy issues the last 12mths due to my medication after a series of operations but I'm off it now and starting to feel better. A few nights ago I got very intoxicated and made sexual remarks to other men at a family dinner. I had no recollection until he told me yesterday. I am horrified and haven't stopped crying about it. I'm not the unfaithful type at all

I'm now wanting to split up. If I can be so awful then this isn't the right relationship surely. He didn't remove me from the situation as he wanted to stay drinking but maybe also in case I went all fiery and argued back. He's no saint and has been very thoughtless and pushy for intimacy many times but I can't get out of my head how much of an ass I was. He deserves better and I'm clearly toxic. 

It would destroy him short term but I think he'd be happier in the future. Anyone experienced this? 

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9 hours ago, Yellowcurtain43 said:

. A few nights ago I got very intoxicated and made sexual remarks to other men at a family dinner. I had no recollection 

Sorry this is happening. Why is it on/off? That in itself indicates chronic unresolved conflicts and incompatibilities.

Are you currently living together? Is he a problem drinker?  

If you're having issues controlling your drinking to the point of regrettable actions, embarrassments and blackouts, considered getting help for the drinking.

The best thing you can do is get to a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist.

Be frank about the excess drinking and ask for help.

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