Painfullife Posted January 2, 2022 Share Posted January 2, 2022 So basically I'm hurting, confused and venting. I've been fooling around with this girl for a couple of months now. She would text me literally every day. We work together and she'd be all over me. So we had the feelings conversation and we both admitted we had feelings for eachother. Then after a few days she just seemed to back off and go cold. I tried to call her new year's as I finished work late and just went straight to voicemail. I haven't heard from her since. Guessing it's probably another guy. Just don't get how it went from feelings and her saying she loved me to nothing in a couple of days. My heart feels shattered and I'm just so confused. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 2, 2022 Share Posted January 2, 2022 Wait until you’re both back at work. Leave this for now. It’s distracting but tend to other things, clean out the house, do some meal preps, exercise. It’s best not to jump to conclusions and keep things cool and civil between the both of you regardless of what happens as you work together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Painfullife Posted January 2, 2022 Author Share Posted January 2, 2022 Just wish I could stop thinking about her. Thank you for the advice 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 2, 2022 Share Posted January 2, 2022 If there’s anything I’ve learned about pain or unsettling situations, seeking to stop the pain is futile. Acknowledge that you like her a lot and she hasn’t responded. It hurts. But do something else and don’t dwell or drive yourself crazy assuming anything. We can’t control everything in life and it’s often best to let time unfold a situation more clearly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Painfullife Posted January 2, 2022 Author Share Posted January 2, 2022 I'm so sad. I just want to cry. I've really fallen hard and thought she had too. Then she went cold and disappeared Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 2, 2022 Share Posted January 2, 2022 2 hours ago, Painfullife said: I've been fooling around with this girl for a couple of months now. we both admitted we had feelings for eachother. I tried to call her new year's as I finished work late and just went straight to voicemail. I haven't heard from her since. Are you dating? Or just sort of mutual crush at work? How long ago was the call? Perhaps she's with friends/family. Don't panic, see what happen in the nest while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Painfullife Posted January 3, 2022 Author Share Posted January 3, 2022 Mutual crush. Just so confused. She said she had feelings then went cold and now we haven't spoken in days when we used to talk every day Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 3, 2022 Share Posted January 3, 2022 1 hour ago, Painfullife said: Mutual crush. Just so confused. She said she had feelings then went cold and now we haven't spoken in days when we used to talk every day Ok, it's awkward to confess feelings. It would be better to simply ask to go for coffee . Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 3, 2022 Share Posted January 3, 2022 Do you take her out on dates? If you don’t then ask her out on a date you plan. Make more effort. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Myabee Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 On 1/2/2022 at 12:56 PM, Painfullife said: I'm so sad. I just want to cry. I've really fallen hard and thought she had too. Then she went cold and disappeared Awful tough when they go cold and disappear. Are you both single? Perhaps being that you work together she freaked out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Painfullife Posted January 14, 2022 Author Share Posted January 14, 2022 Ok. So saw her for the first time today. Not spoken in two weeks. She hugged me but seems more like a friend thing. Acting Like the two months of hooking up before and saying she had feelings never happened. She also asked how my love life has been but in a cheerful way. I said yeah it's been alright and then went to do something else. Head f**k indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 13 minutes ago, Painfullife said: Ok. So saw her for the first time today. Not spoken in two weeks. She hugged me but seems more like a friend thing. Acting Like the two months of hooking up before and saying she had feelings never happened. She also asked how my love life has been but in a cheerful way. I said yeah it's been alright and then went to do something else. Head f**k indeed. I think you’re very negative. Ask her out to coffee or if she’d like to have dinner with you. When she asked about your love life, it was a soft inquiry and you might have said something like, “Better now that I’m talking with you.” Flirt a little and see whether she’d like to go out on a date. If she’s not keen don’t push it. Remember this is your shared workspace so remain respectful and cordial regardless of what happens. Don’t burn any bridges. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 16 minutes ago, Painfullife said: She hugged me but seems more like a friend thing. She also asked how my love life has been but in a cheerful way. She's not interested in more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Painfullife Posted January 14, 2022 Author Share Posted January 14, 2022 2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: She's not interested in more. Yeah, I think so. Just messed my head up saying she had feelings then going cold in a week 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 On 1/2/2022 at 10:56 AM, Painfullife said: I'm so sad. I just want to cry. I've really fallen hard and thought she had too. Then she went cold and disappeared Hey dude. I hear you. May MANY years ago I had a fling that sounded similar. Basically it started as a hookup and remained a hookup for a couple of months. Then she got all feely and I responded the same. No idea why - she totally wasn't my type. Sex was banger though. Overnight she went from all GF-like to a stranger. I felt like a bull that had charged the cape only to find empty air. It sucked. But I got over it in short order. And I think you will too. Move on and don't look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Painfullife Posted January 22, 2022 Author Share Posted January 22, 2022 So, update. I've worked with her a few times and sometimes she's all over me holding my hand and rubbing my lower back etc other times very standoff. Also she tried to call me at 4am two nights ago obviously drunk. Was just like, oh yeah, sorry about the call Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 (edited) 12 hours ago, Painfullife said: she's all over me holding my hand and rubbing my lower back etc other times very standoff. Also she tried to call me at 4am two nights ago obviously drunk. Be professional at work. Stop the massages and handholding. Only communicate at work about work. Delete and block her from all your social media and messaging apps. Do not entertain this or allow personal calls, no less at 4am or dunk dialing. You're flirting with disaster. An unstable office flirt could easily turn this around and accuse you of sexual harassment. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting single, sane, sober women you don't work with for a brief coffee. Edited January 23, 2022 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 15 hours ago, Painfullife said: So, update. I've worked with her a few times and sometimes she's all over me holding my hand and rubbing my lower back etc other times very standoff. Also she tried to call me at 4am two nights ago obviously drunk. Was just like, oh yeah, sorry about the call Stay professional at work and keep things very light/cordial. Avoid physical touch at work or being in the same area alone with her. Keep your distance and mute her contact on your phone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted February 8, 2022 Share Posted February 8, 2022 (edited) OP, This girl is hot and cold. On and off. From this On 1/2/2022 at 10:59 AM, Painfullife said: So we had the feelings conversation and we both admitted we had feelings for eachother. Then after a few days she just seemed to back off and go cold. I tried to call her new year's as I finished work late and just went straight to voicemail. I haven't heard from her since. to this Quote Ok. So saw her for the first time today. Not spoken in two weeks. She hugged me but seems more like a friend thing. Acting Like the two months of hooking up before and saying she had feelings never happened. She also asked how my love life has been but in a cheerful way. I said yeah it's been alright and then went to do something else. to this Quote So, update. I've worked with her a few times and sometimes she's all over me holding my hand and rubbing my lower back etc other times very standoff. Also she tried to call me at 4am two nights ago obviously drunk. Was just like, oh yeah, sorry about the call It's a red flag, if you want a relationship with her. Someone who wants to be with you will not jeopardize the potential for it if an opportunity comes, because they want to be with you. They won't take risks that might lose you. You wouldn't be left in the dark, confused. Your pain is your body's way of telling you this isn't right. If you want a nice fling, then this is perfect. But judging by your post, you want more and she isn't going to be the one to give to you. She will however be the one to put you through a rollercoaster of ups and downs and ultimately ditch your life for the guy she'll really want, when the day arrives. Get your head together and figure out what you want so you can decide the best course of action for yourself. Goodluck - Beach Edited February 8, 2022 by Beachead 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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