S2B Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 Why did you allow him to mistreat you through the years? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 11, 2022 Share Posted January 11, 2022 You both seem so angry. Unfortunately your husband seems to think forums are a substitute for professional advice. However, you need to consult an attorney to consider your options in divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sophie Norris Posted January 11, 2022 Author Share Posted January 11, 2022 I don't feel angry. But maybe tone and feelings come across mixed via a forum. I have not ruled out divorce and I am aware this is an option. I did speak with a solicitor a few months ago with regards to a separation agreement so if this is where this goes I'm sure I can pick it up where we left off. He is going to see a counsellor for individual counselling. Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted January 11, 2022 Share Posted January 11, 2022 2 hours ago, Sophie Norris said: I don't feel angry. But maybe tone and feelings come across mixed via a forum. I have not ruled out divorce and I am aware this is an option. I did speak with a solicitor a few months ago with regards to a separation agreement so if this is where this goes I'm sure I can pick it up where we left off. He is going to see a counsellor for individual counselling. Sophie, It looks like your husband is trying at this time. Only time will tell if he keeps this up and makes real changes. You will also need to make changes, as real change and progress is a team effort in a marriage. So, step one, getting his attention, accomplished. Second step will be to work out a path forward. Until then, I would put divorce on the back burner, as it seems you have, and look to work on yourself, and support your spouse. He should do the same as well. Hopefully, this will lead to a better marriage, and relationship for you both. Remember change takes time, and there will be steps back from time to time. The biggest positive that cam come from this is you both learning to honestly communicate with each other. Get this down, and the rest will follow. I wish you luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sophie Norris Posted January 11, 2022 Author Share Posted January 11, 2022 Hi understand50, thank you so much. Your replies are very good and I can totally relate to them. This is what I am doing. I have said I will support him and we are just making sure we are kind to each other. I have just taken a step back I suppose to see what happens. I think because we have two (amazing) children this has prevented us from acting quickly and as a result may allow for change. I think even if he does change but we cannot fix us a couple, then he will be happier and more content with being a father. And I have learnt a lot from the whole situation. I am far too people pleasing, in every aspect of my life, and I probably need to work on my self esteem. And I have committed adultery. I know everyone probably feels this way, but this is something I never ever thought I would do, yet I fell into another mans arms in a childish effort to feel less vulnerable/more wanted. I'm not even sure what. I never want to do this to anyone again and feel like this. So yes, change is needed from me too. Thank you for your time and kind words x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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