Dissapointed in Humanity.

[FrostBlaze]

Hello folk, i have not been here in forever.
People get shaped by their experiences, while some hold hope for the future because their life has been ok or mixed i can understand those people that keep keeping on.
I just dont know if they can understand me or others like me. *smh* they probably can, im just being negative.

Some of us just seem to be dealt all the wrong cards in life regarding everything but since this forum is about love i will just talk about that.

Never had any luck with love and the last woman to be part of my life really ruined me more than the rest. I was with this woman for 7 years.
She seemed different, better, i was sure she wouldn't end up like the rest. We 'loved' eachother and it seemed like everything was perfect, i was deadset on marrying this gal. We had talked goals, about ourselves, in all these years you would think we knew eachother, that i knew her.

But it seems i didn't.
At some point in the relationship a 180 happened, im not sure how or why, everything seemed fine and as perfect as ever, noone would say that anything was going on, not our friends noone.
I had a gut feeling i didn't listen to, that she was falling for someone else. We distanced ourselves in the  last 6 months of the relationship and broke up 'amicably'.
I assumed she would go with her new love interest.

Months later we talked, she wanted to stay friends but i knew that was a bad ideea, in the meantime i just accepted it in order to have a talk with her for closure.
In this talk she revealed so many things about her that frankly didn't sound like her. And if this new her was the real one, why hide it for 7 years? Didn't seem like she was hiding it, frankly i think half the stuff she told me was just post breakup bullshit that people do.
How she actually never wanted monogamy and how she loves more men and wants to be with everyone...She suffered some low self esteem when i met her that i helped build up.
In the meantime she was getting a lot of attention from men now and she fell in love with several of them it seems, so she says.
She was/is very religious and said she is into monogamy and all that, then she dropped me the multiple love interest bomb. 
Few months later, shes into monogamy again and more bs was uttered that left me wondering 'who are you?'.

Other details here, but to make one hella long story short, i guess you never really know people.
It has ruined my trust, this experience and the previous one, but this one the most.
I find it impossible to trust people anymore, at least as a love partner.

Been over a year now and nothing has changed, i still don't trust anyone in fact i am quite dissapointed in humanity.
I dont think i can get over this leap and i probably will never trust someone again.

Edited January 3, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language in title

[lonelyplanetmoon]

Sorry for your pain but you sound very shallow.  Sorry to be harsh but I want to offer a different perspective.

‘Love to me is not about what I get but rather what I give.

My love is a gift that I give to another.  I give it freely without conditions that they need to give it back or this and that.

‘So your idea of trusting another bla bla bla is all centered on what you are getting.  This does not sound like love.  It sounds like dependency and control.