Will my relationship impact future career opportunities?

[ironpony]

I was told before in a thread not too long ago that my boss and supervisors in my current job probably see my relationship as 'icky' since I am 37 and my gf is 21.

But that got me thinking, since I am looking for new jobs and career opportunities, will the age gap effect such opportunities?  For example, I don't want future potential employers to look at my social media, see my relationship and then not hire me, based on having a relationship that could be considered 'icky'.  Will this be a problem in the future, especially with cancel culture and all that?  Or what do you think?

Thank you very much for any opinions on this!  I really appreciate it!

[Wiseman2]

First of all, your GF is none of an employers business.

Secondly you need to use social media wisely. That means go through all your privacy settings and reset everything so only people you know can view your content.

[Foxhall]

I dont like your thoughts process of mentally affording your employers/future employers such power over you, 

as above, your private life is your own business. but Id have a concern as to why YOU think it is other peoples business.

in-relation to your previous thread, finding work where you are not answerable to as many people would seem a good plan for you.

 

[ironpony]

Oh okay thanks.  I do have everything set to private, it's just that people often find out stuff.  For example, for a film project, I was told to try to get investors on board, but investors often want to know about the person they are investing in and that means their life, past, etc.  So I thought employers are interest in knowing people's reputations in certain instances, and do not want the employees to hide the reputation.

[Foxhall]

Sorry I was perhaps a little sharp there,

In-truth you are a guy finding your way still which is fine

indeed still finding my way also so I should not be critical of you.

[ironpony]

Oh yeah for sure, thanks.  I didn't think you were being too critical.  Thanks.

[dramafreezone]

On 1/3/2022 at 6:42 AM, ironpony said:

Oh okay thanks.  I do have everything set to private, it's just that people often find out stuff.  For example, for a film project, I was told to try to get investors on board, but investors often want to know about the person they are investing in and that means their life, past, etc.  So I thought employers are interest in knowing people's reputations in certain instances, and do not want the employees to hide the reputation.

So get rid of social media entirely if that's an issue.  As I've gained more clout and repsonsibilities in my company I deactivated my FB account just because I don't want to take any chances.  Use a linkedIn profile and that's it.

Ultimately though, your value to your employer will be determined by the service you provide and your quality of work.  If that's high all of the other stuff you're worried about is largely irrelevant, but I understand wanting to minimize risk.  Sure your personal life *shouldn't* matter but we're human, we often can't compartmentalize as well as we hope to, so bosses may see one side of you and not be able to separate that from the employee.

Edited January 4, 2022 by dramafreezone

[flitzanu]

in line with what has been already said, absolutely employers and potential employers will scan your social media.  i probably cost an ex gf a job once, in the interview the person asked her "so who is that guy in all your pictures?"  

the unspoken emphasis was hinting at "who is that WEIRD guy in all your pictures"

so yes.  make everything private.  don't add coworkers as friends, etc.

 

[ironpony]

47 minutes ago, flitzanu said:

in line with what has been already said, absolutely employers and potential employers will scan your social media.  i probably cost an ex gf a job once, in the interview the person asked her "so who is that guy in all your pictures?"  

the unspoken emphasis was hinting at "who is that WEIRD guy in all your pictures"

so yes.  make everything private.  don't add coworkers as friends, etc.

 

Oh okay.  It's just that in the film and media industry, they want seem to see some of your personal life and I thought if I hide it, will that look like I am trying to hide something and set off a red flag?  Or maybe not? 

[spiderowl]

On 1/3/2022 at 7:47 AM, ironpony said:

I was told before in a thread not too long ago that my boss and supervisors in my current job probably see my relationship as 'icky' since I am 37 and my gf is 21.

But that got me thinking, since I am looking for new jobs and career opportunities, will the age gap effect such opportunities?  For example, I don't want future potential employers to look at my social media, see my relationship and then not hire me, based on having a relationship that could be considered 'icky'.  Will this be a problem in the future, especially with cancel culture and all that?  Or what do you think?

Thank you very much for any opinions on this!  I really appreciate it!

I think if you love your girlfriend, ironpony, none of this would be an issue for you.  You would not be weighing up your relationship against possible career opportunities.

If you only see her as a woman you are dating and you could easily date someone else without a feeling of loss, then you might as well choose your career over your girlfriend.

 

[Wiseman2]

The only "social media" any employer should have access to is a good LinkedIn profile.

However it's not "social media" in the sense that relationship status personal pics etc is posted on it.

Reset all your social media settings to private. Only allow people you know and trust to view your content.

Ask your GF for permission before you tag or post pics of her.

You're not a film producer and even if you were, that would be a separate site.

[flitzanu]

22 hours ago, ironpony said:

Oh okay.  It's just that in the film and media industry, they want seem to see some of your personal life and I thought if I hide it, will that look like I am trying to hide something and set off a red flag?  Or maybe not? 

no, your own personal social media profiles being private is not a red flag, it's a protection of your privacy.  if this suggestion helps, i use multiple profiles for say, facebook, one public with my real name and a handful of normal, appropriate pictures to identify me, and a handful of professional friends or coworkers, and i leave that one public and i don't post anything on there that could be incriminating, maybe just a GIF or "happy holidays" type of fluff.

and then i have another profile that i used a variation of my real name, and that's where i connect with my "real" friends, and i keep that one private.

as @Wiseman2 said, a Linkedin profile is best used for professional career interaction, and keep all your other social media on private (unless you want to make a second one like i mentioned).  jobs don't need access to your private life and they have no right to it either.  if someone wants examples or a body of work, you can send it to them in other ways.